Us and Jacob

Good morning. Just me. Think it will be a short entry this morning. We would like to think through a visit that we had with our youngest son, but very little is coming through to our memory at this time. It was the same driving home last night. We couldn’t bring to recall what had been said.

The visit turned out to be about 4 ½ hours, plus there was about an hour and 15 minutes driving time each way. We got there as scheduled and he met us as we were walking toward his building. We found a Chinese buffet quite by coincidence, then afterward, I went to his room where we were able to talk longer. On the way back we stopped at the bank to make a deposit and pick up a sandwich.

I hadn’t seen Jacob, nor heard from him for at least five months. The last time was having been out to dinner with him after watching his football game. He is the one who is a cheerleader. Or, at least was. He went three years, but after this last season a very poor administration fired their coach and the team broke apart. The kids respected their initial coach and were very upset that he had left. Hmm, if you hadn’t figured it yet, Jacob is in college. He’s in his junior year of a five year plan after switching majors from computer programming to psychology.

While driving out to his place, we had a very serious conversation with our selves that involved some tears. We wanted the meeting to be a good one, because we’ve only been able to see Jacob once or twice a year. With his brother Tanner, the visitations and contacts were lower. Jacob is the youngest of my three sons and Tanner is the middle. By contrast, I have been seeing the older son Macadam one or two times a month.

Macadam explained and it was confirmed by Tanner that the reason Tanner doesn’t see us is that I am too big and not taking care of myself. By that, he means I smoke. I am big. There is no doubt there, but it was very hard for me to think a cosmetic difference was keeping me from being seen or accepted by my two younger sons. Between the two older sons, I was told that Tanner believes that my weight added to medical problems was going to cause my death in two or three years and due to that, Tanner didn’t want to be in a relationship with me. He then added, he has a big problem with death as well with his paternal Grandfather who is going through his last fight with cancer. This was of no consolation to me, of course.

Jacob wanted me to separate himself from Tanner on this note. I have always known the boys to be independent, but I made sure he knew, that separating hadn’t been done before, because their behavior (no calls, visits, or holidays) had been the same. I think I talked about my feelings as well about this, but that I’d tried to respect their boundaries. I also throughout tried to use "I" instead of "you" language. That was an important thing to do. I think there was a point of being pretty upset and angry not at what he was saying, but in explaining my experience with this. I tried to explain it from the reference of knowing my boys. Not in the manner I knew their thoughts or actions, but down deep in valuing their persons.

There were a lot of things said, most I thought constructive. Through the process, he introduced me to more of his life. The boys, their three younger cousins, and Tanner’s girlfriend are all connected by a system where they can hear each other or talk. He talked a lot about the game they were playing and more importantly how it made him feel to be so close to each other. He talked of their combined strength on terms of playing "the game." Tanner is, of course, the leader, but the boys live in this other fantasy world where orks and trolls are valued. There is always the good guys and the bad. The boys hold an account on each side to better understand both. They work as a team and protect one another. It is a closed system though. They are very intent.

Jacob showed me one other thing he was interested in. It is an video game operating system connected to bongos. That turned out to be pretty fun. He taught me how to do it and we actually we’re playing! I enjoyed stepping into his world for a small bit of time. We were able to talk of other relationships he had or had not with people, learn of his excitement in learning, listened to his problems ... in general do things that felt very Mom-like. I was meeting for the first time, my Jacob who has now turned 21. He’s no longer "the baby." He’s come a long way. I continue to like my kids more and more. There’s a lot of things I don’t understand, but given the opportunity to communicate, I will always be there for them. I think sometimes, they forget, or like Jacob said, "Wow, I know ... guess this is what they mean by saying ignorance is bliss. I think he forgot to remember how able I’m able to match his thinking and thought processes, maybe forgot how much I could care. In general, it was a good visit and we felt hope.

Princess "charm the pieces out of Gramma!"

Good morning. I’m not real sure about this, but I think I slept from about 7:30 to 3:30 without waking up, but maybe I just didn’t remember waking up ... I don’t know. Would be too odd to sleep a whole entire 8 hours?? We’ll have to check this out again. But, maybe?? :)

We’re going to write a shorter entry today ... I know, I know ... I have a reputation and all to maintain. Just yesterday, we covered most our main thoughts of late. Now we would like to take some time for some other stuff as well. Mainly we would like to work a little with the Paper Tiger. That was short suited. And, there will most likely be the "Jacob thing" today. We’re thinking he won’t even be up until 10 or 12. He was too busy yesterday to set up some time, so that adjustment will have to be made.

The only real news of the day yesterday was that my Granddaughter was here for a visit. Up front? It was very truly the most wonderful thing. I feel very blessed to have her over.

The first thing I remember was the buzz at the door. We were anticipating it. There is this little game we play where I look over the rail outside the door and she looks up waiting for me so that she can giggle for a moment and play shy. We know though that she’s still at that stage where she’s excited to be here. What a very cool thing!

We had to slow her down for a couple of minutes, because she wants to start up on the fun as soon as she gets in, but there is always a little conversation with her father before he leaves and that’s important too. But, as soon as that gets done, she’s all mine!

Normally, the first thing she wants me to do is turn on the Disney web set. That has all kind of wonderful games to play. But, this time as I mentioned yesterday, we wanted to set up the timer. So we talked about it for 3-4 minutes and she agreed to play by the rules. 50 minutes she would choose freely what the two of us would do, then 10 minutes of each hour, I would decide. Pretty cool stuff. I told her father our intentions and he seemed ok with that, but a little pessimistic it would work. Eh ... needed to check it out.

So, we started. After skipping around a bit, we noticed as her father had suggested that she was a little tired. Not that we would have a nap time, but between rounds she would pick up her little blankey, suck her thumb, and rest laid up against me. These days are numbered, so we soak them up as best we can. There was a little trade back with the new Barbie too. Soon on she decided that we could hold her. Yes, Abbe ... that is the most beautiful dress!

After about 30 minutes and right on cue, she decided that her little tummy was hungry. So, we agreed she could keep playing and I would tend to the vittles. That worked out ... set the timer for that too. When it went off, she came out to the kitchen and lunch was served. She decided to half milk, since that was all we had, except water. We made sure to set the dining room table, so she understood we were going to eat there instead of the coffee table by the TV. Then we preceded to have a very nice conversation. She started off quiet, but I asked her questions And she always notes one of my cloth wall calenders with three Siamese cats. This time she asked if she could count them. Sure, good thinking! After that she counted tails and ears, too!

Next, we went back to the computer, but soon after the timer rang. I told her during my time, I think I would like to read a book. So, I picked up a book on Boris the Bear, and Morris the Moose and sat down in my recliner. She was invited and accepted some time to read together. I was very excited, because reading is a pretty big deal to me. We had a whole lotta fun and she pointed to the pictures I asked about which let me knew she was following along quite well. We even got into the secondary (background) pictures and since this was a book about Morris learning which circus role he would like to play, meant that the "crowd" pictures in the background were secondary. It only took her once to recognize them and figure out the people were happy with Morris’ performance. Cool, we thought. The timer went off early, but she decided she would like to continue reading the book.

After that there was more computer time. We learned a new trick. When a four year old tells you that it is your turn to choose the game, it really means guess what it is that I want to do next. I would point at a game to play, and she would say, no grandma, choose again. We would go through a series of choices, until I guessed her choice and then she would tell me it was ok. Then as soon as we turned to that one, she would say, "Ok, now it is my turn!" Thought, hmmm ... interesting.

After a long while, she was really to zapped to go on much long, so we suggested we look what was on tv. The children shows "per cable" were limited, but I noted that Sponge Bob was on. I’ve heard mixed reviews on the show, but figured we might as well try that one. I asked if it were ok and she said, "yes." In the meantime she decided as per other visits to test out bouncing on my couches. Figure she probably doesn’t get to do this much at home, but since I have such bouncy coaches ... the sky would be the limit.

After a few moments of that, she remembered the game of building forts. She asked frequently for me to do something for her, but I continued to say, no you can do that. She usually picked up on the cue quite nicely after she figured out that we were serious. In like mind, I was very conscientious of not asking her to things for me that I really could do. My couch is one of those that is cushion to cushion and lots of throw pillows so there is plenty of building material, plus she likes to use a sheet as a roof which is fine. We have those too.

After that she settled into watching the show. She had decided that it should be on while she was building. Then, not so much later, she decided she would like to sit with Grandma. Love that part! I think she was a little surprised, because I made it a point to remind her that I was still there every 10-12 minutes, by laughing out loud or commenting on something funny.

As it turned out, we’d turned onto a Marathon of SpongeBob shows. Cool, what better way to figure the show out. We noticed after each show, she would ask what that meant? In a sense, she needed some hint about why the last part was funny, or what it was trying to tell us. Toward the end, she was able to catch the funny part herself. Usually, it was something ironic.

As it turned out, I really did like SpongeBob and his friend. Wasn’t as sure about the other characters, but we felt it a good mix. It seemed like a young/old person’s show at the same time. I liked it that the two main characters we’re constantly playing off each other and they would go yards on any topic and would carry it out, sometimes through silliness, to the best logical conclusion. I felt the authors were very masterful at moving it along, while keepin it simple and interesting. There were obvious values issues presented and I got a lot out of that!

Between the computer and TV, that really took a lot of time. But, there were interactions, particularly between shows or games. She’s a bit of a luvey dove, so that pleased me to bunches. I later told her mother that she didn’t have a single mean bone in her body. Her mother said like, "hmm, ok..."Hehe there is certainly a great value into being a Grandmother. In our case, we decided to spoil her with our attention.

She had noted her parents pulling up before they rang, so there was a little haste on her side of making sure she was fed again. We had a small container of cold pineapples, so we both decided on that. We had to tell her mommy and daddy, sorry not enough to go around, but they, of course, we’re fine with that. Actually, they looked kind of beat. They spread themselves out on the couch and conversation was almost dragged out of them. Little one, hehe was suddenly remembering all that she hadn’t had a chance to do. She also expressed her second tears of the day.

The first time came in a power struggle over who got the recliner. We worked it out in that possession is truly 9/10's of the law. The second time, I had split the pineapples 50/50. She ate hers quickly while I was slow on mine. So, she decided she would like mine too. She asked nicely enough, so I gave her all but, one (4 or 5 pieces). She stated then in a panicked voice, that she wanted that one too. But, grandma said no that she would like that last one. Mama helped her through that one with the logic, they were after all grandmas pineapple. Princess said to her mama, but she hurt my feelings! To which, unfortunately Mama said, "Get over it!" Hehe Oh my ... ya gotta love it!

She had to pretty much be knocked down and drug out of here. She was acting pretty poorly when it was time to go. I think the folks would have postponed the exit too, because they were really wiped out, but I thought I was getting a visitor yet that night AND, they did come home later than expected. In all from start to finish it was six hours on my day. The last thing perfect child asked was for something a little sweet before she left. I thought for a minute, hmm ... pineapple didn’t do it? Then I remembered she’d liked the little wrapped candies I’d left up on the files. That soothed her just fine.

*Giggle* I apologized to the folks saying apparently it wasn’t a real good thing to nap at Grandma’s, but suggesting that I was fairly sure, she’d fall asleep in the car. So, in a very big nut shell, that was about it. Very, very good time. The pure site of her, feel of her is very, very stupendous!

Precious Saturdays

Ahh good mornin! Happy Saturday morning to ya! This is the excerpt from yesterday morning. It’s as far as we got.

"Good mornin! Doin fine ... just fine. I feel a little calmer than last night ... ‘bout then we were jumpin off the ceiling. Heheh, poor Dr. M. I’m not sure if that was the answer, but our lady doctor changed a couple of medicines and we seem to have slept for an entire 5 hours! Without getting up! Maybe it was just a coincident, not sure, but we’re hopin for the best. We feel a little spaced though. Hmm.

Ok ... next, next...

We know that it is Kelsie out when we’re going at the kind of speeds as last night. She goes faster than I can think, so its like she’s talking a different language. Dr. M. can keep up with her though. I know pretty soon on, she had him reading the last couple of journal entries and after that it was pretty much processing the marriage of CARF and the Paper Tiger."

Back again ... this morning we slept an entire 10 hours with only one interruption for bathroom at 5 hours. Pretty darn good, hmm? I’m not sure if its because of the nose spray or pain pills, but it’s a pretty big change. Have to watch though that it doesn’t interfere with my early mornings. Not ready to give those up yet.

Been chattin for a awhile yet. Just kind of a playful morning. These kind are the BEST! We’re thinking we’ve got some things to do this weekend, so we’re going to need being a little more aware of the time. We volunteered to visit a work friend’s mother with her. Think she might take me up on it. And, we’re going to maybe visit our youngest son Sunday. YAHOOO

Feelin pretty good on the recovery end. Yesterday, there were two medical appointments first thing in the morning. The surgeon said I’m doing all good. We still have infection problems, but we’re on anti-biotics. There ... just set timer for next dose. Like four a day, ugh. I’ll go back in two to four weeks depending on how we’re doin. The other appointment was our first with the physical therapist. That was an interesting experience.

The first thing we asked was if she was going to make us cry. Little nervous laughter here. She was a tall blond woman in exercise gear ... that was kinda scary, cuz she seems pretty serious about doin somethin. Hmm...

She had us doing little exercises and answerin questions for the 45 minute appointment. She kept taking notes. I could tell the one’s I didn’t do so good on, because the woman was laughin! Hmm, thinking this doesn’t sound so good ... part of the time I was doing the moves and other times she was doing the moves to us. She seemed to find quite a few areas that we usually don’t bother so much. Then she said we should do some goals. I think one has to do with going up our three flights of stairs better. The other ... don’t laugh here. She made us a dish washing goal. She said ... will be able to wash dishes for 15 minutes. We’d suggested being able to stand outside and smoke without fainting ... but, she wasn’t up for that goal.

Shoot, still haven’t made the appointment for the lung test. :(

She seems like a nice lady, but at one point she had walked us through a new exercise ... we tried a few and then she said like do 20 more. It was like, Me?? Then we asked if those first 3 counted. She looked at me suspiciously and said, "Oh, your going to be one of thossssse kind?" Gulp, um do those kind get treated nicer?? No answer...

She set us up for two appointments a week. Umm ok ... did we ask if this was going to hurt? Fortunately, she agreed to come in earlier at 7 am. So, I’ll only be 45 minutes late for work twice weekly. Only. I was too chicken to ask the boss for another medical concession. *Sigh* Plus ... she gave us a couple exercises. We have to do two exercises, twice a day at 20 per leg. It was one I’d never done before.

You have to be sitting straight up in a chair with your legs in front of you bent at a 90 degree angle. Then without liftin your hip you have to push your foot out to the side. Not forward or back ... Out past elbow. This is where she’d laughed at us. Hmph! I’ll tight you! Then we have to do the opposite and push foot inward toward other ankle. Go ahead try it. I’ll challenge anyone who wants to keep up with me and these modern torture tests!

She said when I come back (Wednesdays and Fridays) that she was going to take me to the "gym" I saw that room on my way in. It’s all heavy metal machines and torture devises. It’s surrounded by a drainage ditch because of all the crying happening in there. Well, that might be a stretch. But. Shoot. Ok, no buts. Did I mention that we are going to be put on a tread machine too! Damn. I’m pretty sure this is going to antagonize my system. :(

Ok, bright side ... You know in a younger life, we used to be a State Cross-country skiier? Yep, it’s the truth. I think that one thought is going to frustrate us more than anything. Ok, enough of this. Like cryin in one’s beer. I mean energizer shake.

We have to come to a new realization. Things are going to need changing. Maybe more than just giving up my morning candy bar. Damn that hurt. Between a doctor on the health issues, physical therapist, nutrionalist, and psychiatrist ... it’s not like like I can say, I’m not getting enough support. Seems like the doors open ... just gotta walk through it. Yet, two hours after my breakfast this morning, I took my first morning glucose reading. 275. Not good. Should have been no higher than 160. Norm is between 70 and 120. Ok, ok ... am not going to panic ... just going to take some adapting, right? 300 is the really bad grade. 1,800 calories, hmm? :(

Ok, ok ... let’s keep an upbeat here. Not going to cry.

So ... Next. My friend stopped by last night. He was doing much better. He was kind of tense though. He said that he thought about it for a week about a work proposal he was needing to make to me. He wants me to subcontract for him. We listened carefully as he made his pitch. He wants me to do the writing part of some grant writing. He will do the necessary groundwork of finding the grants and taking care of the financial work, but the actual writing part would be mine. He said that he could offer a couple hundred per grant and a couple hundred more if the grant went through. I don’t think this is going to be a lot of money for what effort would have to be made, but a couple hundred every 2 to 4 weeks for weekend work might not be a bad thing either.

We’ve tried working directly with him before though and there has been problems. I would have to detach myself emotionally from the work and build up some frustration tolerance. The practice would be good for me and although my boss isn’t to know of this agreement, it would be helping the center AND my friend. I know he’s in a time bind and this could really help him career wise. I don’t feel as if I have to do it. It’s more like something I would like to try. It wouldn’t hurt me professionally to be learning the skill of grant writing. It would also fit into the pattern of things we’re already working on.

He said that he would get me information from the first grant on Monday. We’ll see, we’ll see. Let’s hope for the best.

Yesterday, at work wasn’t so productive. Coming in just before 11 didn’t help, neither did leaving at 4 to meet up with friend. But, these extra agenda items were necessary. So, with 5 hours on the schedule, we did our best. Trying to remember what DID get done. We were pretty quick to organize, but right away the boss had another extra assignment. She wanted us to proof read her changes to the new staff evaluation form. Hmm, ok ok ... just a few moments of work. Well, nothing gets done too quick.

Having trouble remembering what was getting done, but at 5 minutes to 1 pm, I had a surprise visitor. It was one of the clients who is at very low functioning level, he doesn’t speak either. He came in and pointed to his wrist. He knows this means time. I asked did Ms, ... send you? He nodded his head up and down. So, I followed him out thinking there was a problem in the room. Well, it turned out that the staff did not send him, but he’d taken it on his own initiative to tell me it was time for the thinking group. He had moved my table in its special place. He is disruptive, so he usually sits at the head of the room with me. Thought man! Cool! He did something pretty terrific.

I was grateful too, cuz I’d forgotten all about the meeting. Gave me a couple of minutes to plan. Heheh have to forget the part of this client needing to tell me to "get to work!" On the way to the room, we ran into another client. This was an upper level client. And, he also was pretty sure I should be doing the group. When we got into the room, others in the group made it a point to tell me that this same client had gotten so upset at not having another meeting that he’d banged on the table and refused to do any other work. Yeeks! Better get bottom end in gear!

We talked about families and worked on getting the group back in sync. It’s hard to keep a group of 40 folks with MR on track sometimes. Many of them have different agenda items. There were two main trouble makers this time. One was one of the other clients who can’t speak, he was up and down making trouble and we had to keep referring himself back to his seat. With the other client ... he was waining on attention, so refused to follow along. He is able enough that he should have done this. Then when he did sit up from his feigned sleeping position, he tried to steal the attention of his peers from me. So, we umm invited him up to sit with us too. We’ve been gone for a couple of weeks so this was to be expected.

I’d figured we better have a round the room test. Basically, it’s checking in on individuals and group processes. For the individual it is a chance tobe listened to and for the group, it is a chance to see if they are going to be tolerant enough to listen to each other. It went fairly well, but there were obstacles. The back table has the "cool people" and they get into thinking their own chatter is more important than listening to the "uncool people." That’s no good. Trying to build empathy. Then there are key people who always need a little extra attention or reminders to stay on track.

There was a couple of tear problems too. One was from a lower end client who thought that first trouble maker was causing her problems. So things stop while we take care of her. An unexpected middle range client got up to help with that one. It always amazes me, when one of them reads another emotionally and is willing to get up and give that extra necessary hug of encouragement or kleenex. Pretty big deal to the one hurting. Then another client started to cry. Thought oh no, not an epidemic!

The second one was able to relay through her tears that she’d had some bad dreams where she was separated from her family. That took a few minutes to work though too. I was appreciative that the larger group held together while we worked with her. I should have noted she was having trouble, because she was one of the extra 5-6 who came up for an extra hug first thing before the meeting started.

The actual question that we asked of them was "What would make your family happy? What do they need?" This is in the answering range of all but about four of them. I had to stop a general consensus where group members start answering the same. Many of them we’re getting into the rut saying that if they helped clean their houses, a bedroom, or did the dishes they’re family would be happy. It was like, "Shoot guys, we’re not domestic slaves!" Most had trouble with a more global picture. Some though had simple golden thoughts like going out to dinner or a movie. A few knew that if they were happy, their families would be happy.

It tells me a lot about where they are, and I know I should spend some time looking at the list more carefully. I had jotted down answers. There is a lot to say about locus of control. Most felt responsible as if it were in their command to make their family happy. If only I do this ... then it will be better. A lot of it like I said, related to chores. Somehow, we will work this through and try to advance their thoughts. I’d like to get them thinking to a degree of ability that familieshave needs larger than if the client’s bed gets made and that they contribute to the psychological balance by reaching for goals either personal or family (group) orientated.

I’d like to hear one or two more such as "if we went to church," or if we were able to go on vacation." Though, I know one of my lower functioning the one I’d mentioned earlier who had cried, said her family would be happy if they could go to Mexico. That was I believe the most impressive. She was able to think as a member of the family unit without being so self serving. Pretty cool.

The reason I keep going back to the families is that in truth only about 20-25% could ever really work, at least from our agencies ability to shake down communty jobs. This is a center weak area. But, the family is going to be around most their lives. For many, they will continue throughout to live with family, but for many ... they will be bridled with child roles unless they can break out and learn to think for themselves. It’s very hard for us to see them report back that they are just told what to do and lack real conversations of any depth with parents or siblings.

They are often given minor family roles, beyond tasks. Would be nice to see they were a source of inspiration, humanity, hope, laughter, etc. Things that we all value about being in relationship to one another. They should be recognized in the family as being gifted in being able to accomplish so much especially due to disability. Hehe I want them to be amazing! Cuz, in my heart that’s where they reside to me. I long for the moments the clients surprise the hell out of their folks. Like Wow! I’d never thought! I want them to have more a spot light for being real contributors.

I don’t know ... maybe I’m on my high horse with rose-colored glasses again. Not sure. But, I can see things, I believe, in clients that I think others miss. Just remembering one of the things that happened yesterday. When I walked into Sr.’s office the first time, I couldn’t help noticing my very lowest level client sitting in her office. I knew that she’d been giving staff a hard time. She’s been getting upset and cries loudly, bangs head on table and will hit herself. She is very intolerant of change or direction.

Sr. looked at me through frustration and said, this one is yours, right? Automated, "Uh huh." Then she said, she’s been here long enough, why don’t you take her to your office. "Uh huh." She didn’t want to take my hand though ... I knew she was going to be afraid I’d take her back to her room. She doesn’t do well with change and her DSP’d been on vacation all week. Subs come in thinking they can change things for the better. Like right.

So, with assistance of one of the client’s sister who was in, we all walked down to my office, then Sr. Followed with a can of colored pegs to be inserted in holes ... one of her favorite activities. We pulled her chair up to my desk and we were set. I figured we would do a little work with her on the tolerance. First, I stayed on the same desk with her. She was doing well with that. I shuffled papers and she seemed to adapt ok. The first change was that I reached in my desk and found a big bright colored marble. I rolled it to her. She smiled and rolled it back and forth a few moments. As soon as she lost interest I took it back and placed in drawer. Then I worked a little. Then after about 10 minutes I was able to bring her attention back to the big computer. I said, "Look ... Fishes." I have a very realistic aquarium of computer fishes. She looked up smiled, then went back to her work. I thought great! You’re doing wonderful! I’d interrupted her twice with success. Usually if anyone bothers her she starts to pout and will eventually build up to tears. Next, I went back to work about 10 more minutes then I opened my side drawer next to her and brought out a picture. "Look ... this is a picture of my family!" I said, "This is me, This is my son ..." She stopped what she was doing to look at the pictures. I marveled! Then as soon as she looked away, I took back the picture. It was very important I didn’t infringe on her boundaries. Just wanted her to open the door a little.

The last part didn’t work quite right, because we were interrupted, but I think it would have. I said, "Look... we’re going to set the timer and when it goes beep, beep, beep." it’s going to be lunch time. I repeated the beep, beep, beep a couple of times. It was only 10 minutes away. I wanted her to look up and change her behavior when it went off. Unfortunately, like I said, we were interrupted. Sister sent a higher functioning client to retrieve her. BUT, the thing is that she needs some markers and I haven’t gotten the staff to understand this person’s eccentricities.

75% good though. I like these periods of actually working with the clients. And, she seemed happy with the quieter atmosphere that we’d presented her. This is a real good thing. I think that I will ask if Sr. is determined to change the structure of this group that both this client and my one other in that group go to the new staff. I have a lot more hope to change her means of "dealing" with my client than the other DSP who’s been here past her welcome.

Shoot, shoot ... V? You following along? One of those long Ayn-type entries that you love so much. Hehehe

Got a lot on my mind!

Ahh, just did another glucose test, because it’s been another couple of hours since testing. This time it was 183 a drop of 92. Good. Good girl! I want to wait eating until it’s completely back in normal range, instead of taking a regular mid-morning snack. I can do this. It sure makes a lot of difference getting a prescription for test strips. Only $10-15 for a month instead of $75-80 per. I can deal with that. A little conflict though in poking yourself for blood and waiting before typing starts again. Shoot, shoot. I think I’ll try waiting for a range under 100 before eating. Of course within reason. That means hopefully two more hours to drop another 83. Possible, possible. It be 11:30 lunch time then anyway. :)

LOL - if I can systemize this, I think I’ll be able to handle it. Who knows, maybe even give the Flylady a run for her money today? Maybe...

Almost all my early morning gone ... but, you know I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the organizational project right?

Ahh man ... we’re on borrowed time now. I’ve just downloaded the Paper Tiger at home here. She worked! I really dislike the companies that set their CD’s not to work after first computer set-up. That’s totally unrealistic.

Hmm, a bit of time has passed ... I have to get going though. I’d just started to get into Paper Tiger and we got word that we’re going to instead babysit for about 4 hours. Ouch, ouch back hurts from quick pick-ups. Table tops cleaned in living room, litter box fresh, and garbages empty, that’s the emergency level cleaning round here.

I don’t think we’ve sold V. on this point, but we’re going to try 50 minutes her time, 10 minutes my time. I want to help GD understand it’s important GM gets her kind of fun time too. We’ll share the clock. The rest of 50 minutes her fun time. Sounds like quite the deal. Hmm, she’s coming over just in time for lunch too! :) Smart move Dad! I also told him if she mentions vacuuming, I will expect him to volunteer! Hmpf & a Giggle!

Lookin like Blue Sky Ahead

Good morning. Maybe not a perfect morning though. It seems my Internet is down again. Not all the lights are flashing in the little box. Hmm. We’re going to handle this ok, right? Think is it signed on for a second, then it disconnected. But, I’d seen V. was on. So, now am feeling a little robbed for time. Shoot.

Ok, ok ... we’re going to handle this! ‘Cept for left my smokes down in the car. Shoot, shoot ... what kind of omen is all of this. Plus, my two kitties are sitting at close range giving me the silent treatment for forgetting to pick up more canned food. This doesn’t seem to be my morning.

Maybe it’s time to stack up some of the good stuff?

We had a nice dinner out with our friend last night. Ya you got it, Margaritas! *Sigh* There’s a beauty to that!

We had a necessary adjustment to do, because we had been in such a good mood and our friend was unusually down trodden. He went so far as to say, he NEEDED a drink. That’s not a good plan. The conversation was kind of baulky when we got there. I knew what he was going to complain about before he started. It is his major life problem. Basically, he says, "I don’t have enough time!"

We went the route of trying to offset his conversation with steady rounds of reason. I argued ... we all have the same 24 hours in a day. The same 524,160 minutes in a year. I tried saying even the biggest business executives and leaders of our country had no more time to spend.

Then we tried to argue his points of not enough time to relax by reminding him in his off hours, he fishes, and golfs, and plays poker, gardens, and reads, and has umm, mushy time, and his second job involves officiating football, basketball, and baseball. Did I miss anything? Pretty much he’s set up the kind of off-hour recreation that any red blooded male could look up to. All this while still working and being part of his family. I think, shoot ... lot’s to be appreciative of.

And then, we tried arguing the other side ... that of the life of the majority of the Center’s parents. Only, a small portion even own a computer, let alone know of its aid in life. Many of the parents skirt issues that are really hard and life wrenching. I said, don’t you realize the opportunities at your side due to his advanced ability to think, manage, and organize?

But, through all this, he wanted to be stubborn. We tried pleading, don’t you see? Without a prioritizing and acceptance of the available 24 hour day, he was going to work himself into a heart attack or ulcers. By this time, we were holding back the tears. He’s stuck in a rut of thinking the world is more unfair to him than to others. He wants to accomplish and be the best at what he was doing.

He then re-maneuvered and started the next complain that is very worn with him. He was claiming ... if only I had better employees. I told him. This doesn’t work! If you put all the weight on your employees, than because the locus of control is away from him, he puts himself in a position of no control. He can’t change anything, because it is out of his hands. He falls helpless at the whim of unforeseen forces.

I felt kinda bad, because I knew up-front, I wasn’t going to accept all these faulty arguments at him, so I backed up. I gave him a chance to vent without constriction the pure fact that he was feeling put under by the weight of his world. Here, we gained a little ground. We then took a sneakier path ... basically, it had been eight days since he’d umm released some pressure in the optimal free play of the night. AHA, we thought ... this is WORKING! We knew because he stopped arguing and in his shier sense found difficulty looking at us directly!

Well, to make a long story short. We nipped that problem in the bud! Wallah! Happy Boy!! YAYYYYYYYYY!!! Let us thank the good Lord for recovery!

Hehehe

Anyway, that was the night!

The reason I’d been in a good mood previous is that I’d been allowed to go to work. I was in true bliss! Plus, we came in 20 minutes early and had that much extra time. We dug in!

The first thing was to clear up that nasty stack that had accumulated. We brought our garbage nearer, opened those file drawers, and wrote out some work assignment cards. We proceeded in this fashion until there wasn’t a single paper left! AHA! The good life! We used our timer throughout the day and by the time of nine, we were ready to start accomplishing the work of the cards.

We had looked at every assignment and had dispersed it through the upcoming weeks in bite-size pieces. We went to our little file and said what is the first assignment to be done between 9:00 and 11:30? Then we just started knocking of tasks one at a time. It was kind of an executive spin the bottle! We couldn’t remember what was coming up, but we’d resolved whatever it was as long as we were in the right time zone, we would accomplish what came next and next. In no time at all, we were filing completed cards in their appropriate categories in the long card file box. YaHoo!!!

During the time toward lunch, we’d gotten a chance to play around a bit with the new Paper Tiger Program. This was intense, and fun, and what we live life for ... AHA! It’s just we love new systems and the learning of them is silly putty in our hands. *Giggle* We made some good progress, though we were far from adding much to the contents. We were still figuring out in our minds what would be happening to our 3 deep file drawers between the two desks.

Right on cue, as soon as the timer had gone off, we’d released ourselves to work on one of the big projects ... CARF. Since Sr. had said, that she’d like me to be working with the new DSP in the mornings, we gave the hours between noon and 2 to CARF. AND, since we’d scheduled 2:00-2:30 to be working with a DSP who couldn’t squeeze in that time, we had an extra half hour.

I can’t explain well enough now what happened next, but in our minds the conclusion was that we’d taken two great big projects and in their souls married them together in a quite unexpected turn of events. WALAH!! Life is good! The two projects were CARF and the Paper Tiger. I can’t say why with all this planning for the new program, we hadn’t seen the benefit, but oh my G. Here it was before us in all our glory!

You see ... CARF although a few slim four letters of a name is really about the whole entirety of our Center’s business. It is an structured course of standards (98, I believe) that weaves together all the intricacies of the work, both seen and unseen. What we and our Sister site have done is to categorize all of the year’s events in a series of numbered books. There are about 15 books and they are each 2-3" full of papers diagraming out each nuance of our program.

I’m sure there are other organizations who put together like books, although I would think for the larger organizations it would be a near impossible feat, since all the pieces of the company would be spread in funny unknown corners of their building. How many executives know of every piece of paper and concept flowing through their doors? St. Rose only serves 50 clients and has 10 staff, so it is a very neat compact size business.

Pshwoo ... break, break ... went down for the smokes. Soon as I catch my break (three floors), we are going to need more coffee and some ice water. Kitties are delighted though, cuz we left open the back door. I could see them scurrying in front of me on my return, but they were tickled to sneak down a few stairs. Heheh. Yes, they live a limited life!

Anyway... Ok, where were we?

Let’s see ... maybe I should explain this Paper Tiger once more, very simply ... It is just like the Internet, in that, after all the information is put into it, you can write in an browser type bar about any business word you might think of and it will display for you all the locations the word appears. So, I can make each of those 15 CARF books a location, and I can list each set of documents 1 through gazillion, and I can give each one a title and a set of keywords which is usually part of the document’s outline. I can also write notes about each and give each a category name and "hot action" date which is the day I would like to recall a set of papers.

See with the Paper Tiger, it’s not all about just filing information away, but it’s about its retrieval. They claim that this program can find every single document in under 5 seconds. It’s just amazing. I played and played with it yesterday and it’s a beauty! It also gives you reports of the information in a variety of ways so that you can collect all sorts of things. Like you can put in the word 2004 and it will spill out anything from that year, or you can put in the word, "revised" and all the documents with a revised date will appear in a list ordered of course by entry or alphabetical. Or, I can bring to recall all of the policies and procedures, or I can ask for all the reports I need to or the secretary needs to do over on the first of January each year. Plus, soooo, much more!

The ramifications are simply too wonderful to capture in my simple brain. But, I know this is very big! The first year for CARF, I tried something like this, but it was very limited. I wrote an Index for all the documents. But, it was one dimensional and limited to just titles. It was one "resource book" where I could find information. At the time it was very good, but it had been too much to do for the next year. There wasn’t enough time to type in the whole thing over again and it was something very hard for my peers or boss to use. I’m no better off in the thought that they could use a new system any better, but we’re all that much more advanced.

For $200 each computer the system can be networked so that the Administration Team (four of us) and the Secretary could all be on thesame system. So, I could enter to my heart content and everyone who would use the system could. Any of us could potentially find the documents the others were looking for. AND, we could put on the same system, the State book we keep. This is a four inch binder that lists critical elements that are found in the CARF book. Since, we have to go through both these sets of document every year to update, we would be at a tremendous advantage.

I’m still working with the addition of the next year’s documents. Some would directly replace doc 303, new revision 07.2005. I would have to read the book as for there suggestion in fitting in the New Year’s material. I’m sure there is a handy dandy way, I have not thought of. But, if legal books, libraries, and encyclopedias can add new revisions, I’m sure we could too.

I figure that it is going to take quite a bit of time for me to enter all of the data, but like I said in the first year we did just that. AND, since I have to go by hand anyway to look individually at each sheet, what would be the difference if I took an electronic note? This whole thing makes me so gosh darn handy. It’s just something tremendous. Last night, I left a note on my bosses desk asking her to come by when she gets a free moment to look at it. If she decides it’s too expensive to put on everyone’s desk, than that’s ok too. The one-person version I’ve already paid for and since I’m the ONE responsible for CARF, I can maintain my own version and pull them necessary documents whenever asked. Just no losing here!

*Sigh* So, ok ... breathe in here somewhere!

I’ll find if today she is interested in more than the one copy I own. If she is not, I think I will add CARF to all the other documents that I’d planned to put in the program in the first place. That would include the things, I am working on other than CARF, like my temporary and permanent action files and it would eventually include my business library. I suppose I could do that anyway, I’m just a little concerned for the business if I were to leave.

Of course, if I keyword the library as library, I could pull those references if I were to leave WITH my library. Hmm, this seems like a good idea. I would like to keep all my work together. The network thing though ... I’m not so sure I would want the other Q reading my work, but it would be a tremendous advantage to the sister if she knew where we were to leave off. Eh, better merge them.

Shoot, shoot, time is just speeding by. It’s already after 5 am. YAYYYY, we made it to Thursday. It’s Dr. M’s Day!!! And, CHINESE!!! High five V! Another day, where we are raring to go to work! Sure wish I could get on-line. Oh man, oh man ... We’re up!!!

Nuttier than a Fruitcake

Good morning. Just me. I’m up early this morning and need some time to run-off excess anxiety. I think I should be doing better in a moment, because I finally figured out how to get rid of the sliver that was at the top of my 4th finger. Man ... can that make a person testy first thing!

We’ve had a little excitement over the last 24 hours. I did go to work yesterday, but as it turns out ... we, had to spend the day in the ER room. For those of you who may have forgotten this experience, it is about the absolute most dullest thing you can do. Especially, if your predicament isn’t really a big deal.

I had woke up from a nap on Sunday after noon and I’d had a new big red (sun-burned) looking area (12"x8") on my abdomen AND what looked like another hernia (3"x2") where the last one had been. The first three doctors all guessed wrong, but finally my surgeon was out of surgery and looked at it and declared I had Cellulitis (skin infection) and a Seroma (a mass or swelling). Modern medicine ... you gotta love it. It was an 7 hour ordeal, because my doctor was the Chief of Surgery and it takes awhile to get them guys out of the operating room to diagnose an infection.

So, I’m on anti-biotics *giggle*. He said the Seroma was just fluid that had gathered in the hernia "sack" (I know gross) and that it would gradually be absorbed back into my system. Then, because surgery is obviously more fangled than I had realized, he took out his pen, drew a large circle around the infection and said if it gets worse/bigger come back to ER. Thought ok, we can play that game. Sort of just slightly less complicated than tic-tac-toe!

This morning now we have another umm lump under one of the sutures, but we’re going to wait on this and just take anti-biotics. It’s just like an inchxinch. Figured it would be ok, since we have a follow-up visit on Friday. I know we had to go to ER, because that is what the surgery nurse told us to do, but I wouldn’t volunteer for that experience just "for fun!" They didn’t even feed me!

Fortunately, our friend took heart. He stopped by twice. The first time he looked at me and asked if I were being a little bit of a baby and I guess he figured by my INNOCENT smile, I might have been a little more competent to handle ER without him. So I got a kiss on the top of my head and he left. The second trip was only for about 3 minutes. He brought me two big chocolate cookies and gave me another kiss. It’s terrible how well he knows me. *Giggle*

So, that was about it, except when I started my car to go home, both the oil and anti-freeze light came on. I was feeling pretty put out by then, of course. But, I stopped and fixed that too. Was like the most UNPRODUCTIVE DAY!

I did however get a first hour back at work. That was pretty scary enough. My mailbox was full, and my desk had literally a foot high pile of "stuff." My boss caught me in the beginning and said I should get comfortable and come back for a few notes. I brought my legal pad. She gave me 10 priority items and said that’s enough to get you started. Yeah, like right. The next thing, or course, was that I went back to my office and ate my super snicker’s bar. I have to do something over my privacy, because the DSP two rooms away, yelled out, "Are you eating something in there?" MAN, busted! Hit me like a ton of bricks. "I WAS BACK!"

They must have missed me! I leafed through the mail and made mental notes. I’d gotten a package of cards from the clients and someone had left a cute white fuzzy monkey hanging from my door. "Bout the neatest thing that caught my attention first was that my new computer program and book had come in. This was the one to help me with my filing. YAYYYYYY! So, I downloaded that. I only got about 15 minutes to play though, before I had to do the other ER stuff, but for sure we’re looking forward to going back.

The biggest change ... this always happens while your gone ... but, the biggest change is that my biggest head-ache DSP is leaving at the end of the week. She QUIT!!! Wow, what a relief! We’ve been waiting for this for four long years. Actually, the grape vine is so ripe at our work, I knew about it over the weekend, but I wasn’t going to tell that to my boss. We’re really not a very big place.

It is going to mean more On-the-job training though. Sr. says I’m to give the new DSP my mornings. Actually, she’s a woman hired by sister 3-4 weeks ago part time and for substitutions. She’ll go full time now. I like her already and it will be a great change for the group. We’ll start next week.

YAYYYYY V-ster time! He gets the best of our complainin! :)

Soooo, brand new day ahead. Yesterday in the short hourandahalf time at work, there were a lot of people interruptions. I felt real welcomed back as well as being presented all kinds of interesting problems. Heheh there was fun stuff though too. One of the DSPs came back twice just to show us the art work her group had completed. Awe!!

Think we’ll leave early today ... Need to get the prescriptions and stop for gas. Barely used up anything last week.

Really folks, I have absolutely nothing on my mind except getting back into ordering my work life. V says I should come home on time, but I know I’m going to want to stay late. Will NEED to get everything in order. I haven’t even made a list of all the stuff I gotta do yet! That pile of papers promises plenty of stuff!

I don’t know why I don’t get droopy over the amount of work. I think though that I’m one of those people who feel needed when there is something to do. That’s the whole housework problem. No one NEEdS me to do that! "Cept kitties .. They like clean litter box, but beside that? Hmm, well one thing more. Someone, I don’t know who? But, someone taught my brand new four year old granddaughter to recognize the difference between a vacuumed and pre-vacuumed carpet! Well, like what was the deal there?? YEEKS!

Sure would have been nice to think of bringing home the new organizing book. What am I going to do to calm myself down? What would my boss do if I showed up an hour early? Hmm... Question, would she mind if I caught her in her Pj’s? Hmm, might interupt her from morning prayers. Maybe just a half hour early, I know there are clients who get there then. YAAAYYY. I know, I know ... nuttier than a fruitcake.

Hmm, did we take our slow-down pills last night? 

First Thing Tuesday Morning

1. Design an input form which will outline changes each month. Keep it simple. Include Persons served and list other relevant stakeholders. Look for their expectations and preferences. Collect information from surveys, groups, face-to-face meetings, conferences, and past input folder.

2. Continually analyze the data from the perspective of the stakeholders and integrate it into the following business practices. Create a new folder for each and establish report formats. Ask with each, are we meeting current needs, are we offering relevant services, and are we identifying potential new opportunities of growth and development. Decisions could be made from this and other information to develop, revise, change, improve, or eliminate services; short/long term planning, or identifying personnel training needs.

a. Program planning - 13 different program areas

b. Performance improvement - results from last report

c. Strategic planning - Sr.’s annual and 3 year plan, Business improvement reports

d. Organizational advocacy - mission statement of independence and community, meetings internal/external

e. Financial planning - planning and maintaining budgets and generation of income

f. Resource planning - materials, supplies, equipment, furniture, staff, and stakeholders

3. The leadership responds (listens, learns and is familiar with information) directly from stakeholders and reports and internal processes. They will either immediately give it attention or direct it to other functional parts of the system. They are collecting from:

a. Input forums - list means stakeholders communicate

b. Surveys - individuals served, parents, CSO, staff

c. Complaint, grievance, or incident summaries - From Administration meeting and incident reports

d. Performance improvement - Report conclusion

e. Strategic planning - Goals for next year and three years

f. Program/service development - Staff and training meetings and from annual report.

1. Design input form (one file)

2. Analyze info and report in each six areas (six files)

3. Write communications flowchart and line item each appropriately of originating through concluding course. Design one report from the above six areas. (One file)

Let's Get Organized Here

Good morning. We’re up kinda late this morning. We had a nice visit from our friend pretty late last night. We knew it was coming so napped a bit first. Then we watched the movie "The Terminal." Well most of it ... we kind of didn’t make it all the way to the end. We’d found a nice cozy space next to him and was lulled to sleep. *Sigh*

This morning is our Granddaughter’s birthday. There is a big party for her. She turned four years old. We don’t usually attend, because it is mostly my ex-husband and his family. We had some help this morning sending some wonderful e-greetings though. I really hope it is a wonderful day for her.

We were going to see our youngest son today, but the we’re not yet quite stable from surgery ... painwise. We were afraid of the hour drive and distances we were going to have to walk after getting there. Maybe next week? We’ll see.

So, with all that said and done, we’re about caught up with the present. Well mostly. We’ve had a good couple of days go by where we were able to get done with some reading. One on the organizational stuff and the second on going through the CARF book. We had a little surprise in that we found out that Monday is an off day at work, so we have an extra bit of time. Like to make the most of it, but unsure at this point what to do next.

Hmm, washroom, another cup of coffee? Maybe, maybe ....

Pshwoo. Ok, next?

Already closing in on 10 am. Don’t think there is anything that I "have" to do. Well, beside clothes should go into the cleaners, but that would require stairs and driving and lifting. Don’t think that going to happen today. Same with things should be picked up around here again, but again that would take moving around. Better, plan yet another day of just being around the computer. YAYYY, or favorite kind of days.

I’ve been doing enough reading that I figure I’d like to write some to balance things off. I’m not sure what to write about though. I am having a little hard time being away from the office, because that’s where things really need to be done. I suppose we’ll read more from Harold’s work ... that leaves just a blur of things we ought to concentrate on while we get back to work. He says things like how not to procrastinate and setting up of goals and not being perfectionistic.

They are handy things to keep in back of mind. We find that a lot of his work is kind of repetitive. We’ gone through four of his books and have started the 5th. The 6th one that is free to read is on salesmanship, and I probably won’t go through that one. Still have the tape recorder too which we haven’t used much over this holiday. I dislike our minds being muddled with global, but not specific. Need to do (think) of something concrete that will advance the system.

Maybe I should check out the paper tiger software site. That should be in this week. I wonder if I could learn something more in advance.

Ahh, found some good reading over at the Paper Tiger. She has a stack of newsletters that are pretty good. Will head over there for a bit. Need some more coffee though. Easy to drift asleep.

Well, that happened for long enough. It’s now just after 1:00 pm. I read all the Barbara Hemphill articles back through 2002. Through her site I found something called Ezine which had 1000's of articles of all nature, but after reading a few, we found the quality less than stellar. Cut off at that point.

Let’s see back to working through goals. Again the mission statement was to ...

"I will respect myself by being honest with my thoughts and feelings.  I will love myself, my God, my family, my friends, and people I meet along my path.  I will honor my freedom and independence and cherish my right to make choices.  I will strive to be capable.  I will be responsible for happiness, and I will share whatever wisdom I learn in offering help to others."

Let’s go over that line of loving all those along my path. What exactly is my path? As of the last month, I would say it is to get organized, but that is only a tool toward another end.

When I look directly at what I would like to accomplish it would be reading, research, and writing. I like most to interact and study relationships, and in particular would like to build a specialty around adults who are developmentally disabled, but interested in progressing themselves. I like to learn and I like to teach and consult. I would like to develop a level of expertise. I would like the title of Program Director and I’d have built in a comfortable income. My office and home would be ordered and conducive to study. I would have just a few very good relationships and I would be healthier. To do this I need to set some goals.

My immediate business goals are to "catch-up" at work over the next month. Continue getting to know and advise clients. Begin to master CARF by structuring tasks that need to be completed. I would be successful with staff training and convey positive learning goals and avenues of satisfaction. The Thinking Group would have developed and it would have established a defined direction. And, I would begin to read, research, and write in the field, perhaps starting with some of the CARF reports. One of the first tasks is to complete a new order of my work and home resources so that they would be easily useable to me. I need to release myself from clutter and faulty thinking.

OK, ok ... we are pretty clear so far. Maybe it would be best to look into CARF then. This is a huge over encompassing project that will need to be broken down. Maybe it would help if we first decluttered the table we were working on. Yes, back to the basics. Hold on.

Hmm, that wasn’t so bad. Releasing clutter helps. Now as far as CARF. Most likely there won’t be anyone who is going to outright tell me what I should be doing. I know that most of my work will be following the structure of the "Employment and Community Services Standards Manual (July 2004 - June 2005. This is the manual we read over on Friday. So, we have a basic understanding of the book.

The work is divided into sections. The first section is "Business Practices" and it is divided into nine criterion. The second section is "Standards for Quality Individualized Services" Parts A & B. Section three is Standards for Community Services and Integration. The hardest part is the nine criterion in the Business Practices. They encompass 1) Input from Persons Served, 2) Accessibility, 3) Information Management and Performance Improvement, 4) Rights, 5) Health & Safety, 6) Human Resources, 7) Leadership, 8) Legal Requirements, and 9) Financial Planning and Management.

So. From here we start. The hardest criterion by far is 3) Information Management and Performance Improvement. Along with other tasks, it requires me to write eleven Business improvement reports and one Annual Performance Analysis Report. That’s the one that could scare the Hell out of anyone!

I’m not sure if I should start with Criterion One or Criterion three. Could even start with Criterion two.

Let’s see Criterion One is about soliciting, collecting, analyzing and using input from persons served and other relevant stakeholders. It would seem from that collected information, CARF wants us to produce proof of program planning, performance improvement, strategic planning, organizational advocacy, financial planning, and resource planning. This is going to get a little tricky. We have to figure out what format, we are already doing this, or we have to develop a format to cover this information.

One at a time. Program Planning. I do that. I should think clearly here then. I will have to collect data from the payroll system that indicates the DSPs’ program utilized. That means comparing data from the previous year 2002-2003 with the current report year of 2003-2004. Is this correct? Hmm, would think I need the QMRP Quarterly data then too. Last year’s Performance Improvement Report allowed us to generate Benchmark figures for the program goals. From that, schedules were changed for each of the DSPs. Unfortunately, that was done during 2003-2004, so that benefits of changing schedules might not have had an impact yet.

Program planning and Performance Improvement are about the same thing. Maybe it would be represented by the difference of two reports. Program planning would be developed by the Performance Improvement results. Hmm, these would then be Performance Goals. It be interesting and a little fun to summarize up the program plan. Might also use the results of the Program Guide and Welcoming Packet.

Strategic Planning. That directly sounds like the three year strategic plan, but it could also include the results from the Accessibility report which is the sum total of the meeting notes from the Administrative team.

Organizational Advocacy. Hmm, that’s a new term. It could mean a couple of different things. Either how the organization advocates for the individuals served, or how the organization advocates for ourselves to better assist the individuals served. Hmm, could those two be combined. Let’s keep an open thought here.

Financial Planning ... that always sounds like a budget issue. Note here. Should we start collecting and of the financial reports or just wait for the end result. Hmm, like end result. It would help us on a few reports to show efficiency. Again that would be part of the Accessibility Report.

Resource Planning. This could include the financial end of things, or maybe that the financial end has to be attached to the plan. But, it could also have to do with other resources such as inventory, staff or other stakeholders.

In thought of collecting information ... we still have to compile records of anything that was compiled of the year previous including policies and procedures. The identification of relevant stakeholders would be based on the previous list. Make a note that we might have to produce a few more surveys for information. Could we some how utilize CSO Report. Yes, that would be good. It would combine the results of both QMRP’s efforts. Also, it is a quarterly report which might be very useful for more frequent surveys.

Ok, then monthly client surveys, family surveys, case managers and staff. We should systemize not only surveys, but reports and meetings. The meetings would include Behavioral, Rights, Staff, Advisory, Administration, Safety, and Governance. Reports all listed in Business Improvement. What we would be looking for is to determine expectations and preferences of the stakeholders. Maybe this section should conclude with a checklist from all of the resources as to this. Hmm, wonder if we should try putting out an expectation/preference list in the Newsletter again? That didn’t work out so well last year. We might be able to put out a list for the intake families though. We’d have to identify those folks before they became enlisted parents. This might be difficult unless there was a presentation. I don’t think Sr. is going that way this year.

Hmm, let’s think through a moment on the suggestions CARF offers as means of collecting information. We do collect written surveys, advisory groups, face-to-face meetings (a wide bevy here), conferences, and telephone conversations. The other suggestions aren’t easily implented and of these that are ... we need to think through how we collect conference information and phone calls. I believe most of it would still be done through Administration meeting. I suppose this will have to be good enough? But, how does this thought impact our collection of data on the cards. Thinking that its good to have it categorized, could this somehow be utilized without collecting data from the other members of Administration Team.

Interesting thought here. CARF is defining a difference this year of Management and leadership. Sister Tess, as Administer would be definitely Management, could we than suppose ourselves as leadership? The point of being on the Administration Team would seem to confer that, but as well since we are the major source of anything CARF, could we hold special methods to be collecting information. In a sense, put out a CARF Newsletter and of course, special files almost as a separate department. Thinking set-up for lower right-hand drawer.

It seems a critical point to think that this to maintain CARF yearly, we are going to need on-going global sense of purpose and in our own order specific action files, PLUS a priority of what happens first, next and next. The whole standards manual needing of course to be begun and ended in any given year. How then will this file system parallel the big books. Maybe the reason this is seeming important at this time is so that we can orchestrate a sense of control over actual procedings. Perhaps more than just to show CARF at end of the three years. It would mean the difference of looking over-seeing the big project on a timely basis as well as handling the separate functions. Could we hold it this well in mind?

I like the idea of a newsletter ... it would be a review of topics covered during each month. It would be presented at each Administrative meeting and it could be extended past that to other stakeholders. It would mean keeping track of articles (projects). I’d have to do it efficiently so as not to upset any powers to be.

There is something very satisfying with these thoughts and the concept CARF is reaching for in that information is being continually analyzed and that is integrated into the business practices. A monthly newsletter would do all that. It would assure that all needs were being met, services would be relevant and potential opportunities identified for the program and service. AHA ... continuous cycle of quality improvement.

Then CARF suggests that we have input forums (that could be comments back from the monthly newsletter) or maybe results of people realizing what has happened from the past month. This might have to be specifically different than notes from the Administration meeting since directly it doesn’t influence CARF until reports are written. Surveys are obvious ... and more of these could be considered in the individual staff training. Complaint or grievances would have to be coming from the Admin meeting too, but the question would arise, will Sr. Tess want this publically exposed. A good organization could handle it. Summary of incidents would be easy enough.

Hmm, now performance improvement. We would have to include "how often?" Hmm, better still narrow this down to annually. It would include a summary of programs completed through payroll, and it would include Q-Quarterly reports and it would include ICAP data. We could use the States reports to cover in time following services. Interesting new development. It’s like they are now working for us. The performance Improvement Report is still going to need finishing by June 30th.

Strategic planning ... that would be tied into Sister’s new plans written for the Annual Report and further elaborated in the three year plan. Program/service development would be having used the results from the performance improvement to be guiding the following year. Basically, are there any substantial changes.

The last thing that is to be kept in mind is the prompt action of data. This means is the information collected something that can wait for an upcoming report or committee, or is it something that needs to be responded to immediately. The key will be collecting (summarizing) information regularly. Which means I’m going to need a better format or means of keeping up with things. That then shall be my next concern. I have to develop a map of sorts or an outline.

Fair enough ... good first meeting of my own CARF Board. It might be a good idea to go back through the entry now to pickup with the recorder and immediate action items. Summarize, summarize, summarize.

Over in a Day

Good morning. Just me. We’re up early again this morning, but the difference is that I am on "Vacation!" Well sort of ... we’re on sick leave. The big difference is "No work!" An entire four more days off, Yipeeeee!

LOL - we’ve had easier breaks though. We did some baby surgery yesterday. We were at the hospital by 7 and home by 4 with a couple of Subway sandwiches AND the required milk shake! Mmmm, just remembered our friend had put some ice cream in our fridge. Perfect! Turns out to be M&M vanilla fudge! YAYYYYY!

We didn’t understand the part of what the Doctors did. We had a hernia and he had said before hand that it was a classic and they’d be making 3 small holes in my abdomen, but after surgery, it was obvious that there were at least 12 holes, maybe one or two more. The doctor wasn’t available afterward, so I don’t know might have to wait two weeks for checkup to figure it out? Or, maybe I can call his nurse when I get to a phone on Monday. At this point, it would seem the hernia was a lot bigger than he may have imagined. Just not sure.

The pain is something that can be negotiated. It is present only slightly when just sitting (not straining), but when straining it hurts. Today, isn’t as bad as yesterday if I don’t have to bend all the way to the ground. Course that may be something do to the happy pill they’ve given. I think its called Vicodin. Not, a real strong one maybe, but I know I’m going to make it. I walk kind of funny though, kind of bent over in an old person fashion. I don’t think I’m going to make my psychiatry appointment today. It’s a long ... almost a couple of blocks walk. I think that would be pushing it. Maybe Monday, before I return to work. The best case scenario would be that my friend comes back in time and I can use his phone. We’ll have to see.

The experience wasn’t so bad in itself. I had to be there at 7 am and surgery started on schedule at 8:30 am. Couple of hour procedure, then recovery. That was a little longer ... kept falling back to sleep. The nurses were pretty good and there was a sense of moving forward. I think the whole thing went more smoothly than a trip to the emergency room. The deal was I could go home as soon as I could use the washroom. They couldn’t give me a bigger person’s wheelchair so I ended up walking to the car (shortcut) and then it was all over. Sweet!

When we got home our friend said that we didn’t have to bring my work up from the car. We didn’t argue much, though I think in a day or so sitting around watching TV might get old. At least, and especially the good part is that I can sit at the computer. The nurse said that as long as I was up, I should stand-up and walk around a bit. So, that is good enough for me. Whoops, already coffee is ready, hold on :)

Ahh washroom stop and picked up a warm blanket too. Might as well be comfortable!

So, beside all that ... oh yeah, there is another medical update.

I made it to the doctor's appointment Monday. It seems as if there will be a few more things to do after surgery. I'm having trouble keeping it all in my mind, but the doctor wants to now check my lungs and for sleep apnea. She's running some more tests, one that will require a 12 hour fast. I'm still having trouble with my back due to the arthritis and feet and she's worrying over left leg for something. She's pretty sure I should be on an 1800 calorie diet, she's added a couple new medicines, and I'm going to have to start glucose testing again. This is in addition to still keeping appointments for my eyes, nutrition, and physical therapy. Diabetes, cholesterol, and thyroid seem to be going along as fine as can be expected. No way of getting out of being a multiple, but the anxiety and depression that goes with it is pretty stable. Think that’s all the problems. *Sigh*

I know ... one thing at a time. I can do this.

I’ve gotten over the toughest part now ... well, maybe that and an 1800 calorie diet. That seems pretty not fun. I know, I know ... life change, only a life change.

Need to get out of this frame of mind for a while. I AM on vacation! Think I would like to write little and read a lot. We’re very happy to be reading yet on organizing. All the costs incurred this past couple of weeks in setting up the program, seem to have gone through the bank. So, we’re all set up and ready to go. Hopefully, by the time we get back on Monday, the last part will have come in. That’s the Paper Tiger software we’d talked about last entry. I think on that one we went the free delivery in 7-10 business days.

We spent some time on Monday and Tuesday setting things up and working it out. I was making good use of the time and I got a few small projects accomplished which made me feel good. I love the new order on my desk. I made the divider cards for all of my different work areas, and we added one more group of divider cards. We listed out our day in time segments. I think we’re going with 7:30-9:00, 9:00-11:30, 11:30-12:00, 12:00-1:00, 1:00-2:00, 2:00-2:30, 2:30-4:00 and 4 and beyond. It works out in my head and includes natural breaks that are going on with the clients and other staff. So, the new idea is not only to take certain cards out of the pile for accomplishment that day, but to estimate by time segments goals for each task. That’s Howard’s idea. He distinctly separates to do lists for those tasks that get scheduled in a planner. It has to do with making a commitment to get things done.

The key work area where we’re going to be shutting our door is the period between 9:00-11:30. That I think is going to get reserved for CARF as soon as we finish the last annual report to be written up. That makes me feel good. I found our CARF manuscript too before leaving. That will be the first project brought up from the car. We need to be planning on what to do there first. I know there is a couple of Reports to finish, not sure if I’ll do them first or something else. For those of you newer to our journal, CARF is a major project of ours to take care of our center’s accreditation. It’s a pretty encompassing project. Lot of time, but its been put on hold while preparing for the State inspection that is now over. Always something next and next on the schedule. I don’t have one of those jobs that is ever completable.

I’m not sure how my plans for staff training have faired out. I used Sunday to set up a 17 week course of events. It involves spending a private half hour with each of the eight DSPs going over job improvement material. I decided that we could use each of the terms in the employee evaluation tools. The first one is quality of work. So, from the Internet we pulled some stuff together and made a 30 statement survey. Beside that, we made up personal "I can" statements that corresponded to the first. So that if you wanted to strongly agree with a statement (be very positive), you would follow a path of taking personal responsibility.

I left the project with Sr. Tess on Monday, so we’ll find out how that goes when we get back. We’ll see, we’ll see. I think it was good thinking though. Hope, hope ...

Whoops, more coffee and V’s on-line ... YaYYYYYYYYY

Whew, next time put blanket up on couch. Bending sucks!

Hmm, back again. Whoops nother stretch/cup o’coffee. Maybe go wake up that lazy cat of mine in th back bedroom snoozin! Ohh, he’s up!! Maybehe was laying on my blanket. Ahh, good coffee, good stretch. And, good kitty pet. Hmm, kitty treats on the house!

Well, what else is there to think up this morning? Kind of getting excited to get back into the organizational stuff, but not sure if I shouldn’t take a nap first. Hmm. Maybe first reading ... just 30 pages left of the book I’m reading. Yep, yep ... that THEN nap. :)

Pretty good, pretty good!

All in a week or two!

Ahh, good morning! Just me. We’ve been up playing with our buddy the last couple of hours. Leaves a big grin on our face! But, we figured we should get into some "work" as well. Well, at least as much work as free writing gets!

Not sure as where to start with the day. Maybe I should clear up a few things. First, the house. Macadam and I talked about it and we pretty much decided that we were going to have to let it go. We got hung-up with my second son Tanner. A few years ago, I’d co-signed a car loan with him. The mortgage company needed proof from him that it was he that was paying the loan not me. This became an impossible feat for son. PLUS, I can’t get past the point of how worried Macadam is that I’ll have enough money for everything. There’s a small chance that something still could go through, but not likely.

Next, is the State Inspection on Tuesday. That seemed to go very well. Well, almost. Sister is frustrated because we only got 98%. 2% was lost with the DSP deal where her background wasn’t coming up right. We knew that was going to be a trouble spot from the start. I’m very relieved it was only a couple of points, and not our license!

Between this and the staffing on Wednesday, I was a pretty relieved girl by Thursday! I did, however, not like how the staffing went. The Administrator, DSP, and rep. from the state decided to all trigger my client. They kept repeating especially the state rep ... If you do this ... then you are going to jail! He kept saying I won’t do that, I don’t want to go to jail. Please stop. BUT, the lady continued to badger harshly as might a prosecutor.

She doesn’t even know him or what he’s capable of processing or how much difficulty it will cause his mind. She had no business doing that. PLUS, we got into this literal discussion. I was saying that her tactic was "aversive" where I’d been trying positive reinforcement. We were both sure our own the better. BUT, I know by regs and accreditation, I’m in the right! There is nothing to back up the poor practice of terrifying a client to get your point across. BLAH! I’m not against letting him know consequence, but it should be done if anything ... matter of factly, not hard-line accusatory and threatening. Dumb stuff!

Anyway as I was saying ... we’re over those major hurdles. We won’t have to go through State Inspection for another year, AND I’ve no more annual meetings until middle of June. YAYYYYYYY

So, where does that leave us? HEHE PLAY!!! LOL well, sorta. I’d like to say without that much pressure and stress, work again DOES feel like play. And, doing that we are.

For the last month and a half, we’ve been trying to work through some bugs in our own system. The last two weeks we’ve inundated ourselves with concern. You see first Friday of January, we had an Administration meeting. At that time, I’d been dropping the ball as far as follow-up on some of my obligations. My boss chose the forum of the meeting to throw out on the table how displeased she was with me. I’m not saying that was the right format, but it did catch my attention. PLUS, I knew I was slipping up. Couldn’t keep everything attuned. I’d let go of my organization. I thought I was too busy to keep up with it. Alas, that’s not the right way to go.

So, I’ve been figuring and figuring. PLUS, the government was nice enough to deposit a small return to my bank which allowed a few purchases. Have I mentioned how much I enjoy shopping on the Internet? Hehe

The first thing I got was a new program. It’s still in the mail, but at least now on its way. The program is called, "Taming the Paper Tiger." It has to do with using your computer and files together. You got it ... a new SYSTEM!!!! Can’t tell you how much we LOVE new systems! A couple of weeks back, we’d already started to prepare. We’d watched all the training videos of how this program worked, so we’d reordered our main file drawer on the left side of my desk. We still need to get rid of the dead files in the credenaza/computer desk AND I’ve got ineffective records on the right side of the desk. But, the point is we started.

We got a stack of hanging files and numbered them one through 31. Then for the time being, I set up my laptop on my writing desk and noted the papers that were going in these files. So, it’s like having a chart of accounts. This is an action file. Only things going here were things that were still open and in need of processing. With this technique it allowed me to get rid of all that odd paperwork that was on my desk and incomplete. I also moved around the things on my desk so the laptop was directly in front of me and could be pulled forward or back AND I put the calculator to the right which freed up some desk space. I also have on this desk a candy dish of loose pop change, a little owl statue, a desk light, a picture, and my 3x5 cards. That’s it. It’s a nice size desk and holds all of these well.

On the 3x5 cards, I’ve set them up so there is a marker card for each day of the week and one card for things more than a week away. At the top left of the card in a box, I write the category the card falls such as clients, administrative, annual meeting, whatever. Then I write date and time. Then if there is any corresponding paperwork, I right in the top right corner the action file number that goes with it. Then I write a title under the subject, such as a client’s name, or for example a computer subject could be titled, "Paper Tiger." Then, I write a summary of the individual task and its steps, or other detailed information. A lot of cards require extra notes or responses which we write on the back of the card in the process of processing. It becomes a great hard copy of single tasks from start to finish.

The task could come from anywhere. Sometimes it’s the boss, a client or a staff. Sometimes it comes through the mail, our regular routine tasks, or a personal observation. Wherever. Then the cards are sorted according to day I think I can process them. Inevitably things change, new duties are added, tasks are completed, or put off due to more time needed. But, the system is very flexible. I’m learning to pick up a new blank card any time something new is presented.

Now this next week, we’ll refine the new system even more. We ordered (and it came in last night) a long 14" file box for the completed 3x5 cards. We also ordered a new sorter file that includes numbers 1-31 and the month’s of a year. Plus there are some colored tabs. The sorter is going to be the new way of sorting the day to day cards with tasks written on them. It won’t be such a clutter to my desk because I’ll keep it in the upper left hand desk drawer and I’ll be able to better plan out into the future with it. The box will sit next to the wall behind the calculator. I write completed on the cards with a highlighter marker along with the date, which gives me a great sense of pleasure. The cards will be filed behind tabbed cards with the different category names. Yes, this is how my mind processes! *Silly grin*

I have in mind from other attempts at order the proper categories which go with all my job functions. Plus each of the clients will have there own tabbed section. As well, part of the processing of a card made on a client is that on the big computer we keep what is called, QMRP chrononotes. This is a summary of all the major changes orinteractions with the clients. This will eventually make it to the client’s file and will be discussed while writing the monthly Qnotes.

Now comes a fine point of distinction. Back to the laptop. I have a really fine, fine "organizer" already on both my computers and I can transfer info to one computer and get it to the next. But, pretty much I use the organizer on the laptop or at least that is the screen left up on it the most.

The organizer allows me several different avenues of action.  One of the most important is this camilian calendar which switches 7-8 different views including two page planner, weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, and yearly views.  I use many of them, but usually start off with two page planner.  On one side you schedule hours in a day.  On the other side appears your to-do list, projects, outgoing phone calls, and a little notepad.  Pretty damn cool.  There are a lot of card to-do things, but for the bigger projects it will be important to schedule them for 1 1/2 hours - 2 hours a day.  Hmm, the organizer has a planner too.  For up to 15 categories you can schedule in 4 major projects a day ... Have to give that more thought.  It's going to be really important that whatever is written and then filed on those cards (beside client data) is that I don't have to write anything twice.  Hmm, as long as we have the planner for projects, maybe we could use the two-page deal to include a loose list of what ACTUALLY happens during the day.  Sometimes that's a big difference than what was planned.  Thinking that sounds pretty good.  Because it would allow us to analyze how things are actually going.  Like if one day a DSP shows up 5 times.  That's the kind of thing you want to discourage!

Lordy only knows how I ended up with two computers. Hehehe. Think it started out when my big one was down. I took one of the extras. We’d ordered 11 laptops through a grant at the same time I got my big one. Six eventually went to staff and the remaining four are being used by a set of 8 clients. Bingo! Two computers for Mwa! Since nobody complained, we thought just ... well, marvelous!

Most of the writing and Internet usage or anything permanent like projects and such I do is on the big computer, but it is very convenient to have on my main desk something to take notes with in general or from the phone or people walking in. It also keeps my phone numbers. We’re going to go back to using the organizer more fully, and the laptop will also host the Paper Tiger software for my new filing system. It is very nice to be able to use it without having to turn around and skirt the five feet back to the other desk (credenza with tall back cabinet).

Anyway back to the new system ... The paper tiger ... now that’s where the beauty lies. Basically, one of the reasons I got the colored tabs was that the product people say that anything that can be numbered can be added easily to the program. The filing system boasts that its not about putting things away as much as retrieving information as necessary. This is going to be a wonderful, wonderful thing. Especially, due to our poor memory.

I’ve worked with client files for a long time and that system is all good. Basically, each client has a hard one inch plastic hanger file and they sit beautifully in a very assessable two drawer lateral file between the two desks. As an aside, on top of the lateral file is a "kick-ass" printer and my hole puncher and on the credenza alongside the computer is this nifty scanner. This for us middle of the world management people is a dream come true.

It is not big office, but one that is very, very accommodating of a good work flow and aesthetics. Nice view outside, pictures and a few plants. About the only other thing in it is the coat rack, two guest chairs, a long window ledge of books, and a garbage can. I think I’m going to make a play for getting the paper shredder back in our office. Think it was taken out when it was still flooding, but its not getting properly used cuz its now too far away. Hmm good idea.

Ooh Ooh!!! I just used one of my next play items that also came with the UPS guy last night. I bought a little Phillips pocket recorder called Memo 381. With that I bought a dozen ½ hour tapes. The idea is to record my thoughts away from the office that can be used for the office. This way while at home, driving, or at the doctor’s office, or any place in general, if I have an idea ... we can, then later recall it back at the office where it’ll be more productive! I guess you could say that this is my 3x5" cards while I’m on the move. YAYYYY! Life’s so fun!

Wish there was someway I could carry it around easily without my coat on so I could take notes when I’m out of the office getting tasks from the Administrator or staff. Hmm, have to think on that some.

Anyway, back to the Paper Tiger software ... There are quite a few screens I haven’t seen, but the main deal is an open screen with tabs across the top. Each tab represents a location with items. Items can be files, folders, magazines, books, archived storage, whatever. The key is that any one of these locations can hold things that are numbered.

Each item is then recorded with information such as, it’s title, it’s due date if any, and key words that you may later associate with it. Like one set of key words could be "client, the name of the client, Annual report, incomplete, due date 2-20-05, The thing that makes this program soooo much fun is that you can enter any one of these key words and the information and its location will automatically present itself through the find feature.

It can also list reports of things such as all the items in one location, or all the items pulled up with a keyword. You can also have anyone including a peer, the boss, a secretary, or a new person taking over the office a very easy key to finding absolutely anything. But, let’s say that I keep this job for the next 20 years. If they would allow me, believe me I would do this. I have that great of a job and office. 20 years give me a lot of time to be filing!

I know, I know ... what fun is that??? Man-o-man ... It is like having everything you hold in written resource available to you as easily as it is to owning your own personal Internet!!! Eventually, the system would hold all 80 feet of the books I own! So, even if I become daffier, I will still access the knowledge that surrounds me in reading material. I’ve always wanted to catalogue, but this is that and so much more. She laughs maniacally!

One reason a person would do such a thing is because they were darn right crazy ... but there are other reasons too? I get frustrated at not being able to recall important resources when there is so much information around me. Some of my books go back generally over 30 years. Some of the information is outdated, but I like to think that more of it was what led people to new conclusions.

For example, I might have a book on group dynamics that was very good 25 years ago. It is still going to have key elements that are applicable today, or at least give me the vocabulary to update myself via the real Internet. Right now, I can’t recall what was in it. But, I could list key words from the chapter or first paragraphs of each chapter, so that now I’d be able to enter key word, "play therapy." and I wouldn’t have to look through every book to find it.

Might be a real nice asset if I were to be writing a report on one of the lower levels of clients who are processing at this level. Or, if I were presenting at a staff training meeting why I might choose to interact with a client in one way or another. I can’t tell you enough of how much I like to write and think and discuss. Sure, sure come in handy. I want to be able to provide information that is usable to them.

I’ve been working and working at trying to think through how to build a bridge between my knowledge or potential knowledge and the DSP’s. We’re talking of a group of people who have barely finished high school. It seems that half of the staff, I’ve got 8, can hardly write. But, if I knew the material well enough, I would be able to condense and make things simple. As well, my interactions with the clients.

With the responsibilities of CARF where they were always looking for new modes of excellence in the field, I might someday contribute quite a lot. I was very encouraged the last accreditation where my series of Business reports received special merit. Those reports were good because of all the information they included about actual Center practices. To now throw in a little knowledge!?? Wow!!!

Oh yeah ... something I’d forgotten. We got in the mail this week an invitation to a series of meetings down at Springfield (Illinois Capitol). The meetings would take place for one week each over the next three years. After attending the meetings, you would carry the extra title of being a community programmer. This would be a very big deal in that it is a very strong element of what all CARF is about. Getting people with developmental disabilities out working with or in the community. It would fit nicely with the grass roots effort I’ve been involved with the past on the citie’s south side network. They look for projects to support which would give me the ability to do something for a greater good. Pretty neat, hmm?

Hmm, I just recorded into memo an idea for future thought. Wouldn’t it be great if we used the client and their laptops which could be networked into the same paper tiger system keywords for developmental disabilities. What a nice contribution to the community. Hmm, have to think of it thought next to the speed I could do the same as we’ve been discussing. Hmm, just a thought.

Not sure where we are now. Felt a little megalomania like for a second.

Ok, Ok ... there is one more big subject that I’d like to discuss that is included of this new world order we are trying to invent for ourselves. See the last projects are very important because I want to be a productive person in society and this concept of order fits into personal broad lifelong goals. It’s what career thinking is all about.

Hmm, another aside ... we, came across this again this week. It is our personal mission statement we made a few years back. Still feels pretty good.

"I will respect myself by being honest with my thoughts and feelings.  I will love myself, my God, my family, my friends, and people I meet along my path.  I will honor my freedom and independence and cherish my right to make choices.  I will strive to be capable.  I will be responsible for happiness, and I will share whatever wisdom I learn in offering help to others."

You see ... this is what feels most important to me. And, all our thoughts now are saying Yeah! Go for it!

Well, you see the last part of our thoughts this week went to another system. We joined a club. It’s called the "Taylor Time Club." I don’t see it any differently as our membership in another professional organization, "AAMR". The club is headed by Harold Taylor who is an "Effective Time Management" Consultant. In the last 25 years, he has written 15 books and about 50 other projects sold in 38 countries. WooHoo! He’s like a Hall of Fame guy in Canada as far as author’s go and in his industry he’s at the top, or at least has made a site on the Internet that is supposed to carry the most information on time management there is. We saw a presentation where he was talking before 1,500 business people ... we figure that’s good enough to make us listen.

You get some special deals with being a member (at cost - Thank you Uncle Sam). It includes 200 articles, audios, 6 books, booklets, courses, manuals, guides, reports, tips, newsletter, video, and training instruments. I’m just floored with how productive this guy really is. So for awhile, we are going to allow ourselves to be under his guroship! We were referred to him through the Paper Tiger presentations. For all simple purposes, he shall now be called, "Harold."

This is kinda like, really, a pretty big deal. We’d like to think of it as a major life marker development. As in our mission statement we are going to strive to be capable. You see ... there is absolutely nothing standing in our way. We’ve got conducive values, job, family, friends, etc. and no one is holding us back! Beside the two kitties I’m under no personal obligation to be taking care of anything, except what’s running in my mind at the moment. Why not make it spectacular!??

LOL as one last aside ... I think Harold meet FlyLady, Flylady, Harold. Let's go make babies!!!