Friday, July 22, 2005

Free hour!!!

Wow! This is unusual ... I have an extra 10 minutes. I can’t believe I have neglected my journal for the last 11 days. Whoo. Bad me! However, scheduling has been grueling. Oh good my dictionary didn’t complain about that last word.

I am actually still on a very tight schedule. But, the school’s server seems to be down. The message said, try again in 10 minutes. YAYYYYYY!

So, how are we in general? LOL starting to think papers are more important than people! Cuz all people want is papers! I am either going to become very proficient, or I am going to die trying. There that’s a strong sentence!

Well, let’s see for start ... I heard from one of my sons, the oldest last week. It was my birthday and he and his family took us out for lunch. Very nice! He seems to be toughing it out. I don’t remember if I told you but baby #2 is on its way. I hope it is a boy, because the father wants one so badly, he painted the room blue. Hmm, what a chore "Fatherhood!" His work is going well and finally, they think they may close on their condo last week of the month. YAYYYY! During dinner, we were able to ask our grandmotherly questions to happy Mom. HEHEHE What A life I lead. Babyraising is up to someone else! YAYYYYYY! Oh no, I suppose I should tell you there was just a maniacal laugh. I think children challenge every fiber in one’s body. BUT, they are so darn cute!

Other sons ... pretty much avoiding me. *sigh* Least I’m still in there batting!

As to Friend ... He’s going on about as usual. Though, I saw signs this morning while he was here that he is considering slowing down. I’ve heard this ploy before ... On the side, I think he knows it will get him a better back rub if he takes care of himself better. AHA!

My birthday has come and gone. It was fine. A few special people made me feel very special. And I don’t think between that and granddaughters, it gets any better!

Work is toughening me up. We are dueling for every moment I’ve got. Couple of late nights this week trying to meet deadlines. But, we got past the week, primarily, because we it ended up being Friday and I took the day off. YAYYYYY!! I felt very lucky to have needy brakes and air conditioner on my car, even if it was a $500 day. Ahhh.... Feel better, cuz it’s done.

Dang! I checked the site again. It’s worse than it was before. The whole damn campus is missing!!! Thief! Thief!! She cried. The screen they have put up just says students click here and teachers click here for access to rooms. Then the next screen says Hi Ann Garvey you have either not paid your bill or we are doing maintenance on the system. Wow! That could really trip up a person like me who has a Friday midnight deadline! Ok, let’s not panic. I noticed they were crumbling at 6:15. At 6:30 They were staggering. This sounds as good an alibi for not handing in a paper as I have ever seen! YAYYYY! I wish I had been one more step advanced. I had just completed reading the required two chapters and was going to see if there was anything else to do or read, before checking what the paper should have been about. I know if all else fails, I will continue reading the couple chapters in the other course I was saving for tomorrow midnight deadline. I refuse to give up up an entire 5 ½ hours just because my school up and disappeared! YAYYYYY TEAM!!! We will set a timer for 15 minute intervals just in case.

We have had a little trouble with this specific course anyway. V said what I did was get in a cat fight. They used to call them Hissy fits. Does that still apply? Hmmm.

No sense dramatizing the whole event. At this stage one week later ... I only know I wrote an answer saying I didn’t like author, then the teacher wrote questions, I answered them, she wrote more questions, I answered them, and then she wrote a defensive statement to the whole class of four stating she was the teacher with 20 years experience under her belt. YIKES!! This could be an indication of trouble up ahead. We’ll have to play it out.

I do know since then, she sent back my first major paper and said it was "Decent." That’s not the excellent I got from either of the other teachers, but I’m preparing myself for not surpassing decent for the next 2 ½ months. Steel yourself girls! There is one girl sucking up to her so bad the teacher has imported a third nipple.

The other three of us are confused, because she said the assignment was due on Friday, then she was sarcastic for the majority of us for not turning in our papers. She set down a new order saying they were due on Wednesday. Fortunately, after I pointed this out, the one lone male said also, I thought the assignment was due on Friday. Sucker up girl did her assignment four days early, just not to get confused. Then she told the teacher I am learning so much and I wish you taught all of my classes. Shoot, that sure wasn’t my thoughts! And actually I’m a little more frustrated, because it was very apparent that this teacher has assigned us to be reading a freshman in college level book. I am dead serious. It says this book is for Freshman in undergraduate school. So, likewise it reads pretty darn ignorantly and all the examples are for 18 year olds just getting out of high school. MAN!

Ok, ok. I’ve vented. I’m fine. Cat’s are hiding ... no one to kick. Darn! My best laugh on this is ... Suckup girl is taking a freshman undergraduate class and she’s already a doctorate student hehehehehe! Great!

Hey, we have watermelon in the house! Maybe we should go check that out! Ahh watermelon, Frank Sinatra, and the timer got set another 15 min. I’m on time with medicine too!

So what else ... umm, we’ve gotten into the other course work pretty well, the lifespan course. Not that I especially like or dislike the teacher or not, and I’m really not happy about being in a course of 24 people. It’s hard to read all the posts and it seems like I don’t know anyone. But, the textbook is better. It is kind of funny though, because this instructor really enjoys when the students use extra resources. I kind of see what he means. I’ve already gone through periods where I think I cannot hear that same sentence cited once more! Anyway the good part is that the book gives us a good foundation and then you can research any part of it that interests you. The first week we talked about the general field and a couple of important theorists, and genetics and then the second week we had some time on how the brain develops and is affected by growth in the from the first two cells meeting through the first 2 years, at that point, we verged off to how it was affected by abuse, trauma and neglect. Then this last week we were talking about. Then this last assignment was about the theorist Piaget who everyone knows and about theorists who have expanded on structuralism. Pretty cool. Looking forward to the assignment due tomorrow, reading ahead a little and I think they are going to talk about attachment theory and I’m like way into that already! Big concept!!!!

Whoops! Gotta go, took an hour, but my school came back with bag in hand. It turns out it wasn’t allowed to cross streets! YAYYYY School!

Monday, July 11, 2005

Feeling Sorry for Self

Good Morning, This is just me. I had a half hour, so I thought I might write freely. I have just finished the weekend which included quite a bit of writing. I completed my first semester’s major project, three smaller papers, and over a dozen comments. It was a lot of writing. Today, will start off in new directions, reading new chapters, following new rules and writing more papers and comments.

I have to admit to feeling a little down about it. Not necessarily with the work due in the future, but in that the work completed will stir so few comments. More closely, it will generate few people to read the work. It brings to mind the questions of worth. Is it worthwhile to put so much time and attention into something just a few people will read?

V. Is the one I am most appreciative of. He reads my papers and will comment of them and will sometimes talk about what was said, or about new thoughts having read the last. The instructors will read the papers to some degree. Most often the comments are limited, non-existent, or could take 2-4 days to respond. Most of the comments are good, that’s not the point. Just that each paper becomes so important to you while writing it, then you start to think, does it matter to anyone besides me?

Dr. M. Has established a policy not to read the work, my friend is too busy, and the boys are not interested. Maybe, this is the crux of the matter. Some of the people I love best aren’t interested in the work, or the amount of me that is put into each effort. I start to feel, they aren’t really interested in me at all.

Last night, I had a bad nightmare. It involved my family of childhood. The uncle who has had such a big negative impact on my life had taken charge of a moving experience. In summary, he didn’t like me and chose me to ostracize. He treated my valuable possessions angrily, gathered all those around me to also dislike me, and in the end, even went as far to tape a line to my body highlighting me as the deviant he thought me to be. The others retaliated with physical aggression.

I am not sure what the dream signified. Though in afterthought now, I’m pretty sure my belongings equate with my written efforts. Both have met a foul ending. After a whole semester of trying to win favor with instructor and peers, the only comment I received was:

"It was you who took risks when sharing with us. Seeing how you were comfortable with this really helped therest of the class. Thank you for your input. I hope to see you in another class."

I had known it was me to take the risks. I didn’t think that point as arguable. I felt it was me "Against" the rest of the class, I saw my "input" as meaningless binary numbers, and I felt almost horror to think I would go through this much lack of attention again, in receiving this instructor for another course. It wasn’t that he was dumb, it’s just that he didn’t really interact with the learners, including me.

V. Made a good point in that he said when he did comment that my work was good or excellent. I AM appreciative of that, but had figured there must be more reward. With the second instructor (for lifespan), he has sporadically left comments on 16 of the 22 posts, but, I am one of the six he has not commented on. I am feeling neglected and unloved.   :(  Where are those feelings of yesterday when I felt self-deterimined?

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Yayyy!!! New in Anniversary two!

Nice Work Coy!!!

(click on picture to find Coy's Journal)

Thursday, July 7, 2005

YAY J-land!!! (And V!)

Click banner for Viv's AOL JLand Celebration '04

Click on Slak's banner

Click on Vince's Butterfly for Metamorphosis poem

Click on Hall of Fame Banner contributed by AuntieLyn