Busy Week

Good morning. I figure that it’s been a full week since I’ve updated that I should put something down. I don’t think this will be a real long entry though ... time is always of the essence. This is for sure still a weekday.

Cutting away to the good stuff ... I’m IN. There is one more verification on the student loan, but everything is about settled. The University gave me my loan amount and it seems enough to pay for the first course (taken by itself). There is an additional amount, they tack on to pay for computers and books and such. I’ve already purchased books, but I’ll be happy to reimburse myself. After that, it will be enough to pay for half my new computer. I’m expecting a small amount left from my father’s estate that will hopefully pay for the computer’s other half. Financial things should gel into actual money most likely this next week. Anticipating!

I’ve by now gotten some of the books. One was an APA manual and the other the textbook for first course on critical thinking in psychology. I’m pretty sure I goofed in ordering. There was so much time in between one order and the other, I believe I ordered two APA manuals. I thought, ok ... no problem send one back! But, then I got to thinking that I’d really like a copy for both home and work, so I am not trucking the book back and forth.

There is another APA book too which is like a workbook. The third book from this set is a very comprehensive 1,100 page book, cd, and web site for about any possible writing situation one could imagine. It includes, of course, grammar, but that is only part of the book. We’ll probably mention more of its use after it gets here. And, the last book was recommended by the school. It is about time management.

Hehehe ... thinking I have a pretty good leg up here. I decided to cancel the cable TV. I’ll keep cable computer, but to take on two courses, they are recommending about 15 hours per course. And, I want to do it well, so have to allow for enough time to feed my obsessions. I also decided to give up a small web site I pay money for each month. And, instead I’ll use that money to break down and get a phone if any phone company will have me. Little leary here because I’m an absent minded bill payer. Plus, we had a conflict with the phone company. I know I paid them, but the account number was wrong and they refunded another customer my money. I couldn’t get what it took to prove them wrong. Then the bank records became too old and I found being without a phone.  made it hard to follow-up. Terrible situation. So, we’ll see if another phone company will take me.

Before I didn’t have needs because everyone I talk to uses the computer to communicate. But, from what I understand talking on the phone is another very useful means of communicating while you are doing on-line learning.

*Sigh*

Still better check the mail. *whimper*

Damn I can write a thesis, but ...

Oh nevermind.

This week we’ve started the process of e-learning. Classes start on Monday, but this week has been what the call the "Welcome Week." Each day they send new links within the school that you can follow. We have access to finances, the library, writing centers, etc. Takes a while to figure all that out.

Just one thought there. I would like to convey the library is simply WONDERFUL! Everything you would expect and that much more. Within minutes I could be borrowing books from about anywhere. They say though that there is a limit of 25 books within each 3 month course. Yeeks, it would bog me down to read 25 books! The library subscribes, they say, to over 1,000 journals plus they have regular magazines and newspapers too. The avenues of general resources are terrific and each of the schools offer tricks to be finding (researching) information. YAHOOOO I’m like winnie the pooh after finding a new jar of honey!

This week they also opened up a web board just for students starting this month. I believe the student body is about 20,000, so I’m not sure how many start each month. I’m guessing that there are more who start at the regular quarters. I’ve seen some BA people at the board, but it seems that a good majority are either Ma people or PhD. About 78 people have stopped by the board in two days just to just say hi and introduce themselves. There are five "colleges" within the university. Let me see, can I remember them ... umm business, psychology, teaching, human services, annnnnd ahh information technology. Never figured out what people do in that last group, though you hear "IT" all the time. I seem to tune it all out. Whoops, way over my head!

The big buzz word at this point, is "anxiety!" I don’t feel it as much as some of the other learners are mentioning, but then this morning we were poking around in the writing center, and I got the jitters. I practice writing formally at work, but here at my journal the thoughts and style are very loose and informal. It will be a change.

The thoughts of having begun to work on my masters has not settled into our minds yet. I believe they call this "shock!" I told two of the boys through IM’s. One son didn’t respond, but the other said, "Damn good job, Mom!" That made me extremely happy. I’m sure word has gotten to the middle son too, but as normal we’re not hearing much from that direction. :( We told my boss that we were interested in going back, but she just projected a dark cloud. And, my friend knows, of course, but as of yet, we’ve only had one short conversation about it in the last three weeks. He claims to be busy. Yesterday, he let me know that he isn’t going to have time off for the next two weeks. Eh, trying not to be overly concerned. I do have two strong supporting advocates for that we’re extremely gratefuland two cats who keep me honest! Maybe there will be much more support after we meet our fellow students and staff.

I haven’t had a chance over this last month to be reading many journals. I’ve stopped in to a few, but not consistently. I don’t know what else to do there. My free time has been taken up by a lot of reading, especially about the program. So, maybe what it will come to is just maintaining this site, but expecting no visitors. That really wasn’t happening too much anyway. Eh. We’ll manage.

Shoot, don’t mean to be on a down note. There is so much to do and excitement ahead. Full steam ahead!

This week has been kind of different at work, because yesterday and today we’ve been involved with the ARC convention here out in the western suburbs. It’s just 30 minutes away. Nice! The ARC of Illinois, The ARC, to be specific is the leading advocate for People with developmental disabilities. It only rivals the American Association of mental Retardation (AAMR). There are two major differences between the organization. One is in the amount of money necessary to join. The AAMR is six times more expensive. Also, the ARC concentrates most of their attention lobbying down in Springfield our capital where the AAMR is more focused on research and publication. One other big organization that fits in here somewhere is the American Psychological Association (APA). There interests are divided into different divisions. Mental retardation and developmental disabilities are both Division 33. Educational psychology which is my highest interest is division 15. APA is like prettybig as far as importance. They are like a ruling body over all psychologists and psychiatrists, though for hands on work, I think some of these other groups are more active. I’m not overly impressed with the Newsletters these divisions put out. I’m sure though that the APA convention is huge. AAMR conventions are just ridiculous. They are cutting edge, but expect payment for each meeting you attend. Like right ... serious dough as is purchasing their professional sponsored books! I think to be an anybody in any of these organizations, particular APA and AAMR, you need to hold a PhD and guessing too being a professor at a major university doing research is very impressive to their crowds. Pretty heady stuff!

But, alas we’re way down here ... just barely past BA. Yeeks, lot’s of work ahead.

I’m not going into great detail in regard to the meeting yesterday, but it was for the most part pretty damn good. Hehehe and I guessed right that lunch was going to be something over chicken. And, the dessert?? Wow something crossed between a brownie and a frosted cake. Pshwoo, no way, I’d take a glucose reading after that!

There are a lot of choices about which meeting to go to, but then there are like the main events. I think the crowd was about 500. Not as big as it could be. My first meeting was listening to a fellow named Dr. John W. Eshleman. As chance would have it he stated he was also into educational psychology. VERY COOL! He was teaching us about something called Precision Teaching. This is the blurb on that ...

Precision teaching refers to "basing educational decisions on changes in continuous self-monitored performance frequencies displayed on ‘standard celeration charts.’"

We took copious notes! I liked the program a lot, although I thought it would be more useful to me as a researcher, then parse teaching a DSP to use it. They are just terrified with anything to do with charts and keeping records. :( Eh, keep working around them. No reason they should bog me down. We’ll just develop a program where they are not involved. Well maybe this has to be reconsidered, but not at the moment!

The next presenter was Dr. John Agosta. His presentation was on working toward sustainable futures in the field of developmental disabilities. I listened carefully to his presentation, but I thought in the end that he was an easterner with another condescending approach. I tuned as soon as I heard, "You people hear in Illinois have gotto ..." One of his big arguments was telling us to get real in our expectations that we should not expect the government to support DD. The major argument was that money was needed to fund a war in Iraq. Yep, yep ... that’s a favorite position I take! YUCK!

The next presentation was by a gentleman who had mild mental retardation. He read down this terrific paper he had written that was more impressible than anything I’d ever heard. He was terribly well organized and just "put together."

I talked to the first presenter, and I talked to this guy. His name was Rory Beggin. He is a terrific role model and I would love it if he could come out and speak to our group. We’ll see how Sr. Thinks of this idea.

The next meeting was a kind of a mess. The first presenter was a lady with a disability and the second presenter was a speaker from the University of Illinois. They were supposed to discuss issues regarding person centered planning and information about a curriculum that is very similar to our materials on social skills and personal inventory of preferences. But, what happen was like a meeting disaster. The one who was disabled decided that she was going to do the presentation herself and the other presenter was so angry that it was terrible. The disabled one wouldn’t give up the floor, but instead went down a list of questions in the curriculum that were asked. This, of course went real well with the three or four people in the audience with disabilities, but for the other 70 people it was terrible. At one point the disabled person went as far as to say something mean to the university person like see people don’t think a person like me can do this all by myself. Yeeks, terrible session. Control gone wrong and we missed all the global understanding what they were supposed to have presented.

However, the last presentation was extremely good. I’m not sure if any of you watched the movie of Radio, but he was a developmental disabled person whose story they presented in a movie with Ed Harris and Cuba Gooding Jr. The real people (coach and Radio) presented. Radio enjoyed the attention and telling people what he does. The coach talked about being attentive, inclusive, and compassionate. Radio had come from a very deprived background, but found himself at football practices of the coach. The coach, team, and eventually town adopt Radio in over time. Radio and Coach became a family unit along with his wife and daughters. And, although Radio is now 53, he has worked at the high school for a very long time. He serves as a janitorial/Hall monitor/athletic inspiration. He was very proud of his responsibilities. The coach was a down to earth, general nice guy with a heart of gold from Alabama. What he did with and for Radio especially back in 65 when schools weren’t even integrated was something he could be proud of.

So that’s about it of the meetings. I was a little disappointed by the size of the rooms in that the space was short and hard to navigate. I also didn’t like that there weren’t tables in the rooms, so I was taking my notes while sitting down. And, the crowd was so thick, I found myself getting stuck completely at the end of the line several times, just because I couldn’t have stood the length of time to make it down the hall. Then too, all the chairs were too close together for a person of my size. Today, I will be more prepared. Either I will find a room quickly, or not be so frustrated to stay behind. *Sigh* It was critical to get seating by the aisles, so we could pull our chair separate a couple of inches. *Sigh* that worked. :(

Oh a couple of other nice things. I sat next to someone at lunch who didn’t have much of a personality, but it was nice that someone else was on her own and not fearful to talk to a stranger. Most people at the convention seemed to come in whole groups from agencies. So, you had situations of people "saving prime spaces" like back in the third and fourth grades. And, we found good parking, AND the washroom was situated such that there was a private sink in the stall. Never saw that before. Pretty cool. Oh, and at least, there was one bench to sit at for smoking. I know these little things may not seem so much, but they made the day go by a little nicer. :)

Today, we will go back to the meetings again. It will be a shorter day. The time will be cut down by almost- 3 hours. Hehehe 8 - 5 is a long time to sit for meetings!

Well, I guess we lied about the length of our entry this morning. Had to take a nap in-between ... *Sigh* sure is a lot of things going on these days. And, once again I’m sorry to be disappointed anyone on the rarity of my visits. We’ll learn better and better how to guard our time so that we do get to put our thoughts in the journal, and then spend most the other time studying. It’s what is happening! Again from the #3 son, "Damn good job, Mom!"

 

 

V-news

Whoops Almost Forgot this One

Good morning. We’re up early this morning. Mostly because we went to bed at a good time. I figure that we’re going to drop in at our University in a while, but might as well clear some cobwebs here.

The first big news of the day yesterday was that I was accepted at the University with a pending status. They said:

"Congratulations! This E-mail confirms that you have been admitted to Capella University’s School of Psychology Online MS program pending final completion of your application. You have taken the first step in an exciting journey and we are pleased to be a part of it."

Yahoo!!!!!

Since then I believe I have completed the financial work, although I should check one more thing, hold on. Shoot, not there. We were looking for a special coded number that is supposed to come in the mail. Yes, that’s right ... checked the mail. Went pretty good. Teenage part lead. It was hard ... seemed as if we were afraid as if somebody was going to find us or catch us. We were scared. Have to work on this more with Dr. M. Hmm...

Anyway, it was better than other times. Just have to be dealing with stuff. Ahh, better just got coffee. Got to clear our mind here.

Ok, ok ... where were we? Umm, that’s right going down checklist of things that have been done and need to be done. I believe we’ve gotten everything in that was supposed to be in. Our admissions counselor, his name is Barry, signed us up for the first classes and we ordered the first three books. We’ll have to be reimbursed for this later.

Shoot, still having trouble with my bank. They deposited my check last Friday in my secondary account and the money still isn’t freed up to transfer back into the other account that I’ve been using. *Sigh* Just got to keep on it. These are things that can worry a person in the middle of the night!

Ok, ok ... we’re going on.

[Postscript - spent rest of the morning working our way through some of the University's learning center materials]

Moving Slowly into the Next Day

Good Morning ... Just a short one today. Not so much time. We are still in a waiting mode. Waiting on stuff to come in from school. Yesterday, we received something about our financial aid papers going through. I’m not sure if it said that the loan was approved, but it seemed pretty close to that. I think we have to wait for something in the mail, then send a six letter code into the school. It looks like the transcript hasn’t gotten there yet either. I’m not sure if that kind of stuff still goes through hard mail.

It’s hard to wait, but we’re willing to sit it out. I would like to know if we got in all the right papers, just to make sure. We’ll try again to get a hold of the school today, this time by phone.

We have some catching up to do at work today. Yesterday, we worked on CARF, but got off-track by Sister and some staff. We’ll try again today. I think we’re going to have to be less picky in what we’re doing, because at this rate, it will take too long. We started looking for imbedded words within the paragraph instead of settling for paragraph headings. Not sure how or when we made that switch. Just gotta iron out that wrinkle.

Sister gave me a couple of tasks to do yesterday. She was in "a bunch" as far as the computer guy coming in today. She didn’t want to believe me that the software comes with the computer. And, to my fault, I had the anti-virus software at home because I’d loaded in on the new computer. Then she wanted to take me back to the staff resource room which is like a storage room for everything.

I’ve been here before with her. She very slowly looks at all the shelves grumbling about who put things out of order. She was trying to squeeze out some space for more records she wants to put back there. UGH As could be figured, we’ve gotten a couple of assignments now from this tour De’ Force. I’m horrible with bending and stretching exercises.

Then, we got the assignment to write an entry for the newsletter. We’ve been doing this since the beginning of time, but she always pops it on us just before going to press, so it’s like an emergency request. Not sure yet what we are going to be writing about. Something about the center, to be sure. Hmm, what’s new? Maybe something about staff training? Hmm, think I did something like that the last time or two. Maybe we’ll think it up on the drive to work.

We had a surprise visitor last night. YAYYYYY!! Turns out this weekend he’d gone fishing with his new group of friends. He said he’d caught the fourth, fifth, and sixth biggest fish. Not sure if this was a good idea. Maybe it’s too soon to outshine his new friends. I think it’s a big group he’s now going with ... maybe 20-25 men. It didn’t sound like my kind of weekend ... I’m not so for a weekend of sitting out in the sun in a small boat with bad food and then spending the night playing poker. But, to each his own. I think deep down he is a guys guy. Hehe

This new club he joined due to some of his other friends. They are supposed to go fishing like 8 times. In general, once a month. Yeeks, Go for it. Just shower before coming over :) I hadn’t talked to him through the day ... but, he said we left a phone message that was seeming pretty pathetic. Had no reason to doubt him. We barely make a week without seeing him before we’re starting to get frumpy. *Sigh* all better now!

We had one other nice thing happen ... The lady from my father’s estate emailed. She said they are soon ready to give out another small amount. It’s not a lot, but will hopefully allow me to pay off the computer right away and having borrowed from our friend on the car repairs. YAYYYYYY! Good stuff!

The next tough part? I think we’re going to need going down to the mailbox. We’ll give it until the end of the day. This kind of thing could get a person like us a little over excited in a threatening manner. None of us like going down there. But, maybe we’ve gotten news from the school or loan company that only comes through the mail :( We’re going to be brave ... just not right away ... AFTER work!

Time now that we have to be getting in the shower. It’ll be ok, It’ll be ok. Maybe in about five minutes though. No sense rushing the morning. Today is one of those times we’re a little up in the air. Hmm ... something to do with one of our ears ... we’re not hearing correctly out of our right one. Probably standard reasons, but our trying to fix it didn’t help. Everything in time, right?

Maybe one more quick smoke. Thoughts drift back to last night ... Ahh, that’s something to smoke about! Ok, Ok ... need to be moving on. It’ll be ok ...

Leisurely We Sift

Good late afternoon. It’s one of those Sundays where we’ve let ourselves relax the day away. Spent most of the morning reading and then we took a nap. *stretch ... Yawn* Chief ... it’s him having a bad affect on me!

Not too sure what to write now, except I know I need a break from reading. Maybe just a little bit.

Hmm, took care of one other task. I wanted to advance the grant picture. We now know what we’d like to do with the third grant, but a call will have to be made for the application tomorrow. Ok, Ok that’s all tidy now :)

Mmm, dinner’s done too. Just finishing up with pineapple pieces for desert! We had leftovers from last night. Hoped that our friend could stop over, but pretty late for him at this point.

Ah ... them’s the breaks. Feeling pretty good now rested AND fed! What’s next. Maybe check out TV schedule for tonight. That will give me my boundaries. Hmm White sox are on now Seattle is ahead in the 8th. :*(

*sigh* that took a while. Figure we finish off the Sox game, listen to Sports Center and Baseball tonight, then turn on Cold Case and the CBS movie, "Don’t say a word." I can turn on the game stuff and just listen.

I think also I’m going to take an early shower now. I had sat outside for a while this morning and that was real nice. Maybe sit out there for a while after the shower too. Ok, ok ... that’s next. Maybe get back to the reading as well. Though it would be nice to write some. Nothin important ... just feeling the need to be expressive. Maybe get some ice water and medicine too. Yep, yep that’ll work.

Hmm, tying runs on board ... One and two the count ... Change-up ... Deep into center field ... missed the wall ... runner from third tags and comes in ... 5-4 ... Pablo is up. Willy’s still on one ... two gone ... one and one the count ... shoot willies gone tried to steal ... Games over Mariner’s win. *Sigh* Shower ...

Pshwoo ... everything’s done. Nice breeze comin in. Seems like we’re listening to women’s college softball. Ok, I can do that. Think they’re in the last inning unless someone ties up. Ok, ok we’re not going to narrate.

Maybe the point we are getting here is that there is nothing in my mind that is really thinking. I think I have soft fluffy bunnies up there. Hope they don’t get stuck in the gears.

I am probably going to lose this meager attempt to write. As much as I enjoy watching words appear on my screen, we’re thinking better back to reading. I’m driving myself buggy with so little usage of the gray matter. Ok, ok ... maybe later :)

Hey Whadda 'bout a Masters!??

Good morning! I just figured out its been about five days since writing. Didn’t mean to be so neglectful. We’ve had a very busy week since last Saturday. About the only thing we’ve got on our mind is the Masters Degree. Our mind has had some pretty big switches in thought though. We changed the Universities we were interested in, and majors for that matter. We’re now fairly committed to a Masters of Psychology with a Specialty in education. We’re going with Capella instead of Western Governors University, but both have been on-line schools.

It has taken some soul searching to get to this point. I got as far as the point of thinking that ... still no matter what ... my basic desire is to understand how the mind works. I am most interested in staying within the field of developmental disabilities, and with adults in particular. Besides studies of getting people back to work, this is virgin territory. I am going to need understanding abnormal psychology, because some of our clients have or will have this extra obstacle, but primarily, I want to study how people learn. I still have goals in establishing programs for learners. And, we are happy to note that we can take a few extra classes to help us with funding for non-profit and grant writing. But, that is a ways down the line.

All, but these last two courses are all in the field of psychology. That makes me feel real good, because as much as I like education, I feel more comfortable in a base that I’m familiar with. I also know that I want to be around other psychology students. It’s been a pretty good bunch of folks from what I’ve seen so far. Hehe there is a side advantage in thinking that also they are the least to be surprised with my own disability of multiple personalities. I find some comfort there.

I’m going to list out the courses that we’re most interested in taking. I figure that the program is going to take just about two years and it’s going to cost me a loan of $29,000. I believe $6,000 of that money is the money they add just to take care of incidental costs, such as books, technology, whatever. I’m hoping to use some of this money to pay off my computer. Let’s see $24,400 for 16 courses, $2,000 books at $250 each quarter, and $2,000 computer ... that would leave $400 slip away money. K. That works. That is a big concern in the back of my mind off my mind due to the amount of interest on the new computer. Also, we’ll save $3,240 over the next year because the school loan we’re currently paying for will be deferred. YAYYYY! The cost includes a few extra classes to substantiate my needs. BTW - Each quarter is 12 weeks long ... so it seems like we get a week off every three months! If you want to skip the next part (courses), please do, or otherwise read on. We’ve been immersed in these thoughts.

Courses:

PSY7011 - Foundations of Psychology Master's Learners - 5 credits (May, June, July - 2005)

Learners describe professional roles, organizations, licensor requirements and codes of ethics in the field of psychology. Learners identify and describe their choice of study in psychology and the educational steps necessary to accomplish their goal. PSY7011 and PSY7012 must be taken concurrently by master’s learners in their first quarter.

PSY7012 - Masters Learner Success Lab - 0 credits (May, June, July - 2005)

This lab is designed to provide new master’s learners the knowledge and skills they need to be successful in their academic programs. The lab familiarizes learners with the Capella online environment and support resources provided to ensure success. Learners build skills in the selection and use of methods, techniques, and library resources. Working with the academic advisor, learners will develop a degree completion plan. PSY7012 is an advisor-led course taken in the first quarter in conjunction with PSY7011, and carries no credit.

PSY7006 - Research and Writing for Graduate Learners - 4 credits (July, August, September - 2005)

This course is designed to prepare graduate learners for the rigors of academic writing. Academic writing requires a series of related critical thinking and writing skills, including: understanding the nature of academic research; developing strong arguments based on primary and secondary research; evaluating, summarizing, paraphrasing, and citing sources; drafting, revising, and editing multiple drafts of major projects; and producing clear, accurate, and error-free prose. Because this is
a writing course, learners should expect to write a lot: the course includes weekly writing assignments, several short writing projects, and one long writing project. Learners will submit a final portfolio at theend of the course.

PSY7210 - Lifespan Development - 5 credits (July, August, September - 2005)

A comprehensive survey of contemporary and classical theory and research related to physical, cognitive, psychological, and social development throughout the lifespan. Particular attention will be given to topics in the areas of human development that have applications for psychologists working in
clinical, educational, and organizational settings.

PSY7410 - Psychology of Learning - 5 credits (October, November, December - 2005)

Classical areas of learning theory are surveyed, including instrumental and classical
conditioning paradigms, habituation, reinforcement variables, stimulus generalization and transfer, and memory. Current theory, relevant research, and application to clinical, educational, and organizational settings are also reviewed in this course.

PSY7421 - Cognitive/Affective Psychology - 5 credits (October, November, December - 2005)

Introduction to the normal and psychopathological factors of cognitive and emotional functions on behavior. These include learning, perception, imagining, language, memory, reasoning, affective processes, and judging. The course examines the organization of the perceptual world into a unified and hierarchical pattern of belief, attitudes, and expectancies. These dynamics will be applied to contemporary issues and psychological problems in human behavior.

PSY7520 - Social Psychology - 5 credits (January, February, March - 2006)

Overviews behavior that is influenced by the presence of others, or behavior that is under the control of society. Interpersonal relationships, social cognition, social inference, emotion, and personality will be considered. The social psychology of decision making, attitude formation, and social attribution will be reviewed and applied to contemporary issues. Application of social psychological theory and research will be applied to various clinical, educational, and organizational settings.

PSY7540 - Multicultural Perspectives in Human Behavior - 5 credits (January, February, March - 2006)

An examination of substantive and theoretical issues concerning the application of psychological principles in a variety of culturallydiverse populations. Issues to be addressed are the role of culture-specific programming, special issues and needs of cultural subgroups, and psychological approaches to working with culture-specific issues. Current theory and research will be applied to specific clinical, educational, and organizational issues.

HS7501 - Fundraising Strategies for Non-Profit Organizations - 4 quarter credits (April, May, June - 2006)

This course examines a variety of strategies for securing resources for a non-profit organization such as donor research, annual giving, endowment and capital campaigns, major gifts, planned giving, social enterprise, and special events. The key practices, principles, and processes of fundraising are also analyzed to enable the non-profit executive to create, participate in, and manage fund development programs and staff.

HS7502 - Grant Proposal Development and Administration - 4 quarter credits (April, May, June - 2006)

Grant funding is one of the major keys to the financial survival of non-profit organizations. This course provides insights into the success strategies for grantseeking such as effective research, compelling prose, and constructive relationships, and for grant-making perspectives such as effective writing and proposal preparation. A comprehensive overview of private and corporate philanthropies is examined along with other research resources including the Internet.

 

PSY7610 - Tests and Measurements - 5 credits (July, August, September - 2006)

Introduction to the general area of mental measurement. Theory and content of measuring devices in the fields of intelligence, interests, personality, and special aptitudes will be reviewed. Includes an analysis of the psychometric procedures used to develop and validate educational and psychological instruments. Attention will be given to the appropriate applications of each type of methodology. Specific techniques used to facilitate proper interpretation of test scores such as percentiles, standard errors of measurement, validity and reliability indices, and standard scores will be discussed. The professional standards for test development and use will also be covered. Ethical and legal considerations of testing and research with human participants as set forth by the American Psychological Association (APA) are also considered as a part of this course.

PSY7620 - Inferential Statistics - 5 credits (July, August, September - 2006)

Application of parametric statistical procedures to psychological research and the strengths and limitations of conducting quantitative studies. Sampling issues, experimental design, and concerns of internal validity will be examined. Tests of difference between and among groups and correlation will be studied. This course may involve the use of software in the analysis of data sets provided by the instructor.

PSY7630 - Qualitative Analysis - 5 credits (October, November, December - 2006)

This course covers qualitative methods appropriate to content of phenomenological, observational, and ethnological research. Emphasis will be given to such methods as case studies, interviews, narrative journals, and field surveys. Data analysis techniques for qualitative data will be covered.

PSY7650 - Research Methods - 5 credits (October, November, December - 2006)

A review of behavioral science research designs and methods appropriate for applied psychologists. Topics include philosophy of science, ethical issues in research with human subjects, hypothesis formulation, experimental and quasi-experimental designs, measurement, descriptive designs, and the analysis and interpretation of data. Application of research methods to clinical, organizational, and educational settings will be emphasized. Application of the skills gained in the course will be applied to the learner’s dissertation and other research projects.

PSY8110 - Teaching psychology - 5 credits (January, February, March - 2007)

This course will review traditional and current methods of formulating objectives of instructions; examination of student characteristics which affect learning; discussion of basic learning processes; analysis of instructional variables which affect learning; selection of instructional methods, technologies, and materials; evaluation of learning outcomes; and evaluation of the instructional methods and systems appropriate to teaching psychology courses.

PSY8170 - Principles of Instructional Design - 5 credits (January, February, March - 2007)

Application of learning principles and cognitive information processes to the acquisition of classroom educational outcomes. Emphasis is given to the design of instructional
strategies that meet the educational learning needs of individual students.

PSY9101 - Master's Integrative Project - 5 credits). (April, May, June - 2007)

This capstone project provides learners in the academic tracks an opportunity to demonstrate mastery of knowledge, scholarship, and research proficiencies in the identified field of psychology

Wow! Still trying to get over it each time we read the course descriptions. Every word seems to be loaded with learning implications. Everything seems relevant to the work I do, or more so propose to do. I think I accept this explosion in my mind more by going over and over it. We’re a little frustrated this morning, because we’d found something yesterday that allowed us to dig into depth about what happens in each of these classes. It included the syllabus and such. Can’t figure out for the life of me how to get back there. I just want to be absorbing new knowledge and preparing my mind for concentrated studying.

As far as the regular site for the school Capella.edu, I have read almost every single link. I’ve got a terribly snoopy mind that wants to keep figuring things out. Not sure how that happens. We still worry about our memory, but Dr. M. was saying, we actually have a good memory just have trouble accessing it. But, by doing the degree on line, we have at our finger tips accessibility to what we write, think and what’s been written already by others. This is going to help us a lot.

From my understanding a "good" student will pry into how others are processing thoughts on the same subject matter too. Each class has a message board that is initiated by the Prof. This is to continue a thread of conversation about the topics on hand. From what I saw, participating in these "debates" is like 30% of your grade. And, you have to obtain a 3.0 or A/B average to remain in the program, and to maintain your funding. I’m now in that anticipation stage of questioning if I’ll be at least equal to my peers. I need to stop asking the question, "Am I smart enough." Seems like this is more a psychological means of punishing our esteem. Dr. M. was trying to help me understand our tendencies of thought.

Seems like what we aren’t able to do is keep a constant sense of self-appreciation for who we are or what we know. It’s as if we are only the "person" we were "up to" during our last conversation. I know this is the consequence of being a multiple. I don’t believe we have what might be considered an ego identity. We hold many. We adapt our identity to the other person. Instead of having an ego defense, we seem to defend the other’s ego integrity. If this makes sense... We don’t often think in terms of ego. But, it all seems plausible. V? Your thoughts?

Anyway ... our intent is to begin the grad program on May 2nd. We’re hoping all the cardsfall in the right order over the next week or two. I’ve deposited my admissions fee, filled out the application for enrollment and taken care of most the financial fancy foot work. There is a waiting process to wait for all the paperwork to catch up, but it is incredible how much is able to be done on-line. And, they’re checking process at the University is phenomenal. For every step I have or have not taken, an admissions counselor and financial aid person has made sure all's in order.  They pick up exactly who is where within their network.  I think it will be the same during actual school time, because I saw the log you can look at to note your time spent on each part of the program.  The University is based in Minneapolis. That’s the same city as I was born! YAYYYYYYYYY! An Omen!  And, one more thing ... being in the program alows us on-line use of Johns Hopkin Univerity libray!!!

When in the process of applying, you work yourself down a checklist. Most of the tasks seem to have a point toward the end where they flash, "Hey, you’ve done it! You’ve completed another section." Well, not exactly, but it feels like that. I’m fairly sure that is going to be the general educational experience of on-line learning. They have a list of things you need to do, and your chore is to knock them off one at a time. That is the second 30% of the grade.

The last 40% of the grade seems to be in the completion of some integrative course project. It would depend what the course is as to whether it is a test, paper, or something else. *Ugh* shuttering at the thought of taking tests again. What’s the term? It’s going to be "tough?!"

As you might have noted, we’re taking 10 credits almost every quarter. This is a "full-load." I think the ratio is for every course, you are to study for about 10-15 hours a week. This doesn’t seem real outrageous as long as things on the outside world are going pretty normal. We talked to Dr. M. quite a bit about getting sick. This iswhat has happened to us since we started back to college in ‘90. Dr. M. Rephrased it in that we’re at a "new deal." We haven’t been sick for almost two years. He thinks we’ve gotten better able to handle the crises’ that have come our way and will continue to do so.

Sure hope so ...

When not sick, we’ve been able to maintain A/B work. Shoot grades! This is terrible! Already psyching ourselves in the wrong direction.

Ok, clear path here!

Can you believe ... Right at the start ... they are going to be teaching us how to write logically!!! Won’t that be somethin!

Hmm, just thinking here ... If I were to be preparing psychologically ... how would I accomplish that ... and the thought came to mind that I might want over the next couple of weeks, not only to keep a clear vision of work and grantwriting skills updated, not to mention house priorities, but as well, maybe I should finish/restart that book on "How to Read a Book." That would seem to be a fairly handy thing over the next couple of years. I wonder if it is in my kitchen, or like I think ... down in the car. Damn. *Sigh* Quite that! Not going to overcome us! Going to have to start getting mail too. :( Oh yeah, and lest we forget, we’re going to make a real dinner today. Maybe I should defrost that chicken in the microwave? Hmm, we’ll worry about it in a couple of hours.

Best get on with it! Need to make good use of time :)

Happy mi!

Life as I Know it!

Wow! That is all that I should say, but we fudge a lot ... plan to say much more!

This last couple of days have been absolutely terrific! First was the evening with our friend, then meeting up with our other friend, then meeting with my oldest son and granddaughter, now today, I was with my youngest son. In the middle I took care of the next grant, my hoped for education, and if that weren’t enough?? It’s a little cleaner here than it had been before :)

Thank you, thank you everyone involved! I think it will top off with a visit to Dr. M. Tomorrow before work. Yep, yep my little world is almost complete! *giggle*  oh yeah, two more ... we’re going to watch a Clint eastwood movie tonight and we had Chinese throughout! Yahooo!!!

I think we mentioned a few of these things, so we’re probably about up to our visit with Macadam and Abbe. I think they got here about right on time, but what was more important they brought slurpees!!! That’s absolutely my favorite food category. He said he mixed three different kind of diet types, but pretty much it tasted like cherry :) Little muffin face finished hers first, so we shared a little till even she was uncomfortable with the teensy spilling that was occurring. What a girl! Just like her Grandma! She’s got Both love of slurpees and spilling!!

As things usually happen we try to catch-up on what’s going on out there. I guess son #1 stepped into the doghouse. That sounds better than he was thrown, Right? Hehe Eh, Can’t have relationships without umm, misunderstandings. Something, something about three days out at white sox park this week and on the fourth day spending time with friend from work without checking Lee’s Friday evening schedule. He said they made up already, but it still makes funny thinking for a mother who’s been there and done all that!

Another conversation was about his old condo for sale. I thought he was being exceptional optimistic about it selling, especially since lowering the price and providing an incentive. Macadam passed on through Jacob today that indeed by 1 pm today, the place had sold!!! Yahoo! That’ll save about a million gray hairs in the end. We don’t have any of the details, so hopefully will catch up with Macadam sometime this week.

He is still doing well at work and has made advancements. I think that he is looking forward to another challenge from the boss. *Giggle* another incentive program!

I’m afraid tanner is still havingtrouble with work and being unable to enjoy a broader social circle, so there was no real progress made on those thoughts. That was pretty much confirmed by Jacob too. I think they all have theories with what is happening. The one’s I’m hearing make sense. Sure would like to talk to tanner though. He’s being a hard case.

We spent a good amount of time getting through the bills. We had gathered about a month and a half of mail and it filled four plastic shopping bags. I put in a clean garbage bag then worked to replenish macadam’s pile as he began the rapid tossing process. I’m pretty sure we’ve gathered about 80-100 sales catalogues. Something is going to need being done about it. Macadam says if we don’t buy anything from them, they will stop, but I’m thinking we might have to call or write these companies. I’m less sure of how to get off the mailing list.

Macadam separated out the envelopes, then later sorted and opened them. In the end, there were six bills, a mess of stuff from the University that will require dr. m’s assistance, and a notice saying that for pretty sure, we better get an emissions test. *Shuddering* to think of all that. Macadam said that the bills (w/o medical) equal about $800 cuz we were late last month, but it could have been much worse. Though now, we’ll have to use the check I like to save for rent mid-month and use it for bills and then the first of the month check will have to pay the rent until I’m able to catch up a little.

There were a lot of little things I’m doing wrong that adds up to a big problem. I am always adding little things like my Chinese dinners, smokes, gas, and parking, and a few other miscellaneous that comes from having a bank card that is too accessible, plus there was the spring fling and the Easter dinner party that added up to over $100, I used $400 to pay for computer, I bought a month’s worth of groceries for $250 and then the car cost a surprise $250. Yeeks, too much!

Macadam was patient with me. He explains things carefully, and doesn’t yell. God Bless him. He did however add that I could have gotten a less expensive computer. But, it didn’t happen that way. I had thought I was going a lot less than I had before so that would be good enough. Guess, we’ll have to now work through some of the choices that we made.

In-between all these things, there was abbe. I’m pretty sure she wasn’t happy with all this "other" attention. So the situation had a lot of breaks to answer her questions or assuage her needs. Beside the slurpee, she eventually had a fruit cup and granola bar to take care of that little voice that says, "I’m hungry." I think I should have done more to try and cook something. But, I have no confidence with my skill and ability to do something well enough they’d eat it and the time wasn’t clear of how long they were going to be staying. Still feel guilty on this end. I wish I had at least a bag of potato chips or pop to offer macadam. Just can’t keep it around, or we’d eat it. :(

Abbe spent some time watching the pre-school show where they are learning Spanish and we went through a round of counting in this language. Maybe Dora?? She spent more time though with a 3x3 pad of pastel colored post-its and markers, the big calculator and with a little wooden chest we have that holds old necklaces.

I think the gist of her thoughts were that she was looking for someone to play with. She’s terribly good at making up imaginative games. I think this means that she is plenty ready for pre-school. I figure if she know her alphabets and numbers both in English and Spanish, surely she’s ready for group naps and coloring! I think she is going to enjoy having other kids around though she’s pretty sure as most pre-schoolers that her needs and satisfaction are of top importance. I think 4 years old is where we as people learn to set life priorities!

There wasn’t any conversation this time on fantasy games, but macadam spent a good amount of time showing me a couple of the games he plays on the computer. He’s gotten quite good at them. That took a bit of time and he shared that time by teaching Abbe. I have always liked watching the boys play and sometimes trying to figure out how they are doing it. I’m not sure about this, but it seems that no matter how old they are, boys like to play. God love em!

I don’t know if I can quite explain it, but I love the time Macadam comes over and is just "here." Maybe this is another reason why I didn’t rush him through the games. More than any other time or with any other person, he and abbe seem to fill up my space in a manner that is deeply comforting. I’m going to try not to cry here, but sometimes It feels like the "hello/Goodbye" hugs and kisses are going to explode my heart. We play them over again in our minds eye in slow motion thinking it no less perfect than the soft flutter of a dove’s wing against its chest. Theyleave me in aweof all things wonderful. I think it comes from Macadam’s deepability to love and care.

With Jacob too the sense of love I feel is as outstanding as I could have ever wished from the first day born. Same with distant Tanner. I try to think of Tanner as being on a sabbatical. Maybe one day he’ll learn to accept me the way I am. Until then, I have to just let it be

Jacob and I seem to be in a phase of discovery. He made a comment during the visit that went something like, "Wow, I’ve found from these last couple of visits, you are really smart too!" I’ve heard of this kind of thing happening with others where the kids grow up to a point of realizing the parent is finally acceptable. But, it is even more special in person when it is you that it is happening with.

I’ve enjoyed these last couple of sessions immensely. Yesterday, we talked for 3 ½ hours straight through. Where Macadam is in a phase of sorting out who he is while caring greatly about his family, Jacob is at a more playful place of figurin out who he is amongst his peers and mentors. Both are Grand! Early on in the conversation it was established that he has some wonderful circles of friends, both the kind you talk to everyday and a wider circle of what I call "associates." He is very comfortable walking into new situations and introducing himself.

What he seems to be having a little more difficulty with is talking to others in long depth in regard to all the places his mind can go. He differentiates himself as being able to concentrate and focus more deeply than many around him. And, I believe him to be correct. He is very able to think and express himself at the same time. It Seems a lot of time, people don’t get much farther than surface conversation, but there is this other wonderful space where you are reviewing new discoveries about yourself and life and about how people relate to one another that are quite liberating.

I’m pretty sure that part of what has got Jacob so excited is pure metaphysics. He is thinking about his thinking. Add that to his topics of concern are now relating to psychology, philosophy and religion ... he’s become absolutely fascinating. The surprising thing for him has been, he knows now that his Mom can match him thought to thought. We both know I’m not up yet to his father’s standards, in that my ex has studied and can teach/Lead what it is that Jacob and I are doing in practical experience. But, at least I’ve made a mark in his world andI feel that’s pretty damn important.

Inmy mom protective space there was one conversation that became clearer as the time wore on ... I know that Jacob, like me, can be open to new people, him moreso than me, but there is this other part, where it seem that we are being dismissive. That’s the part where you go out and challenge another to be thinking your kind of thoughts, but after a while of them not meeting you, you dismiss them from basic concerns. Jacob was saying that he will try twice with new people, but then finds himself holding back. It doesn’t mean that you don’t relate to them, but the time and concern investment is different.

I’m sure this is the same for most people, but it’s holding a strong perch in my mind right now, perhaps, because of the exclusionary world that Jacob has been in with his brother Tanner. I can see what is happening and thus, avoid anger most of the time, but I don’t understand it all. I know the kids are very intelligent, but I sense them becoming deeply isolated in this much smaller world they’ve made for themselves. Jacob is doing much better because he has this other life of his University with peers and professors, but it is still a breach of normal relating. An ultimate sense of safety, though it’s not yet positive whether this is true or false security.

On one hand I can see the sense of it in that, there is only so much time in a day and one has to prioritize the way it is spent. I can see that Tanner’s consciousness is saying that, "Well, my mother is too big, she smokes, has odd relationships, so obviously is not taking care of herself, thus I don’t want to know her because she might affect my world negatively." I don’t know what is happening though unconsciously. Does that translate out to ... she can’t take care of herself, she can’t take care of me?

It is more a statement between a Mother and son that concerns me now. I know they are "showing" they can take care of themselves and certainly should, but this is physical caring for obvious surface living. And, it is a situation where they can still grow mentally, because they’ve been and continue to challenge their minds. But, in some other ways that are very deep, They’ve cut themselves off from a tremendous resource of Primary love and care.

At Tanner’s age there are replacements, in that young men go out and find young women. He’s done that, but to say there is no longer a need for the primary relationship? And, as I say this I know that in my heart, I’ve done this with my own Mother. I have no place in my life for her. I thought though that that kind of serious division could only come due to abuse and neglect.

So, then I wonder is that what Tanner thinks I’ve done? Not in physical or sexual means as was the case with my family, but in mental dynamics. I can’t help to think the real danger here has been in regard to my situation of multiplicity, depression, and suicidality. I think these are barriers or "Abandonments" that have critically affected him and may always be a distancing cause. Many times throughout their lives, I’ve been in places that were so far separated from their needs or reality and for this I feel a great burden and an everlasting type of deep-seated shame.

Yesterday, with Jacob we talked of that word, reality. At first, we asked him to compare two situations and asked which was "more real." He followed that path for a bit. It became my point to say that reality is that which allow more an introspective place due to literal connection of the senses. I think the situation of me sitting here before my monitor with my fingers connected to the keyboard is more sensual and allows me to be more aware of reality than sitting at a distant desk of a lecture hall, though in both situations my mind can be stimulated.

At both desks I sit and feel the smooth surface and so in that manner both connect and become more acceptable to me through association. But, I will still contend with me in command of leadership and interaction the typing of this document is more real to me than the lecture hall. Then I go back to object relation type thinking ... beside perhaps sexual relating, what is more real than the sensuous bond of mother and son in the closeness of their physical and psychological Dual relationship ?

This seems to bear out in that in my particular situation with mother, there wasn’t this bond. I was not often held, but left alone in crib or playpen with a bottle propped toward my face. I didn’t have that object of love and concern to relate to or from.

With Tanner it was different in that he had all that. Both Jacob and I have discovered that we both have a keen interest in the theory of cognitive dissonance. Basically, in this I mean by a difference between beliefs and actions, or perhaps even that which separates reality ... becomes very frustrating ... You don’t feel right with the world, until those elements drawcloser. Whatthen, with this thought in mind must the experience be for Tanner in rebellion and rejection of me? What energy is being consumed to dissociate from it.  I don’t know ...

it makes me shutter. BUT on the good side ... I know that the situation is better, because there is more relating with his inner circle to me and me to them in a family sense. I figure I have to prioritize this as pretty damn important and that it has to be continued :) I think this is referred to as hope? :) :) :) It’s about where I’m at right now. We’ve got a candle lamp lit at our Top window.

AHA!!! Caught up with Macadam already ... they negotiated a price that all could live with. Closing May 26th! Pretty good, that means they will only have one double house payment, YAYYYYYY!!! Just gotta finish moving them boxes love! :)

Yep, yep moving along ... now to visit Jacob ... YAY!!!

Awe ... Grant #2 under way!!!

We are seeking funding for a Recreational Therapist. Our population is on average grossly overweight and underdeveloped. The program would serve approximately 50 individuals. The Therapist would work with individuals and small and large groups, be knowledgeable and experienced in games and leisure-time activities, organize, instruct and encourage athleticism, practice skills and teamwork, gain muscle and stamina, instill good sportsmanship and competitive spirit, establish dietary guidelines, prevent injuries and other risks, show responsibility for equipment and supplies, write assessments and evaluations and support athletes in Special Olympics events.

Saturday - A Day Well Spent

Good morning .. Me again. It’s a beautiful Saturday morning and we’ve finally got some time to write. There are things that need to be done, but not immediately. This weekend we’ve got another grant letter of inquiry to write, place needs to be picked up and Macadam and Abbe are due about 4 pm. Ahh, though the morning is already up to nine we grant a couple of hours playtime. Yes, that could mean a long entry ahead. Bear down or away you’ve been pre-warned!

First on the agenda? Dr. M. came back. Pshwoo. Probably to be expected by now, but the part that was out was so frustrated that she would not talk to him. Yep, one of those kind of sessions. By the time it was actually time to leave, she didn’t want to. I think what broke the ice is that he said that maybe it would help if he told her something about where he’d been. It really did help as her curiosity is stronger than her frustration. I’m trying to think now what was talked about on her side. I think for the most part was the problem she had of not being able to remember anything. She said it was like having been put in a corner facing the wall. When he asked if that had happened, she answered yes. She shared some of the details and then he asked if it felt like he was punishing her. Again yes. He stated that he was sorry that happened. It seemed to help.

Then as it happens ... we woke up this morning from a dream of being again with our first real therapist. He had to leave too. I guess that is a big part of our fears is that sometime our therapist is going to go away and never come back again. We’re pretty tied into the experience. In reality, we’ve lived through this horror a couple of times already. In this last dream, our kids were involved. They were younger. Our first therapist had met up with us at long last and he indicated he was interested in us again. He said that we should spend an overnight at his place. There was something in there about having the appropriate clothes and that we’d brought dirty clothes that got mixed in with the good. And, as often happens we have dreams of bathrooms. The bathroom that he had established for me was a closet attic (the boys were apparently using his master bathroom, but it was considered to awkward for us to see him in light of this much privacy because we’d have to go through his bedroom).

The bathroom we needed to used was on a second floor. You’d have to go through the closet first with all kinds of old clothes and boxes and such. Also beams and flexible aluminum type air vents (thanks Viv ... I think this part came from viewing your pictures this morning hehe). Anyway, the toilet was something put together and of a crude nature as might be something in an army site. It was more like a commode where the remains part would actually sit in a box that would have to cleaned out by hand later. It horrified us at first that this personal part of us would later be available for examination.

In the dream, our therapist, the first one we’d had that had abandoned us so clearly, was giving the boys and us many things to make us feel more comfortable like special discussions and even house shoes. With us it was a matter of catching up with the boys it was more letting them play. The boys were very happy and had found things to climb on etc. Tanner found a previous locked room to a very expensive mansion. This seemed to frustrate our host and in a short amount of time he stated, it was time to go. He said he had other appointments. We started the difficult process of pulling everyone back together. We went though the old clothes trying to find something for them and us to wear "home," because he wanted all of his things back. Although that seemed a very iffy place. The boys were very confused as to why they had to leave such a wonderful place. We placed on ourselves some kind of armor coat as if to say it didn’t matter and that we hadn’t trusted he wouldn’t do this to us anyway. There was one more trip up to the bathroom and as we sat, he opened the door and invited a large group of people to see what had been going on. This time it was more a specimen as if he was truly disinterested and disengaged. We left that situation highly embarrassed collected clothes and half dressed boys. He had already packed for us and he loaded the car. He definitely wanted us gone. In the car was our father, our friend and our ex husband. The last thing I remember was trying to get everyone in the car. Tanner wouldn’t get in. That’s pretty much it.

Hmm, think we’ll have to send this one past Dr. M. It is probably revealing of our mindset, although we’re figuring the kids were actually more our small parts. The feeling of being deprived and bisected feels pretty real. :(

I don’t think I want to think of all that any more. Makes us feel uggy.

After the session, we stopped by to pick-up Chinese and we had gotten extra because we were to meet our friend at our house. That was pretty nice. We had dinner and played around and stuff. Usually about 8 or so, we’re very exhausted. We get tucked in and then it seems we’re falling asleep before we hear him leaving. Never even hear the door shut. I’m not sure all that happens so quickly and easily, but I guess that’s just the way things go.

So, that’s pretty much the night. We slept until 3 am, walked around J-block for a bit, before we ran into our computer friend, and then again got tired about 6 this morning. We slept for a couple more hours and now here we are again.

I’m not so sure what happened to us through the week. I know the Pope dying has been a pretty big deal. We started watching the continual feed on-line the day before he died and we spent a lot of hours on vigil looking at the three bedroom windows alongside the crowd at St. Peter’s Square. We listened over and over again as newscasters started repeating themselves throughout the evening. We were online and watching as the news was reported of him having died. We had to pry ourselves away from it all, then we worked very hard at not returning, but by yesterday all attempts failed. We watched about half of the funeral service before being able to stop again. We understood that there would be 9 days of grieving. We’re setting ourselves up for that. I’m glad the Cardinals have made a resolution to go private. I’m not so inclined to listen to empty predictions from newscasters. Prince Charles’ wedding has no interest to me. We were a big Princess Diana fan and have not yet adapted to this change in relationships. I’m sure we’re one of millions.

How’d that happen. I know we were writing here, but then we were trying to figure something out. We ended with now having soft jazz playing in the background. Don’t remember how we got to one place from what other. *Sigh* Music is nice. I think we paid for a lifetime membership to something music or movie related, but we don’t remember what that was. Seems like several downloads have been made at our computer. It’ll be ok, it’ll be ok...

I don’t think there is much real interesting stuff going on at work. We go there, time goes by, we do stuff, then we come home. There was one day, we were home early, because our car needed a new water pump, or something of that nature. $250 problem :( Eh, what are bills?

Hmm, feeling a little frustrated, but I don’t know why. Kind of like being lost in time. Not sure what is going on. Shoot, V’s not on. Maybe he would know. It’s like I know it’s Saturday, but I’m not sure what to be doing or writing about. Trying to tap into memory. I know if I look around, I see a very cluttered desk. Certainly we’ve been here a while. Sr. Tess memories? Nope, pretty much a no go on that one. I just remember her saying no admin meeting this month. I think short coverage. One of the DSPs and sub gone. Means the other Q has to step in and was unavailable to meeting. Oh and I figured out who is braiding one of the DSPs hair. One of the other DSPs. Didn’t know. What else.

I can remember we had Thinking Group .. Oh I know ... we were talking about topics, issues, reasons and conclusions. We went back into critical thinking skills. The clients were very good at bringing up topics. They listed out about 15 of them. Boyfriends and love always make it to the top of the chart. After we listed them all out, we went back and picked out issues. Like they had already concluded they like boyfriends, so we imagined an issue to be .. "Is it ok to have three boyfriends?" Then we let them come up with reasons why or why not. That was pretty cool. Or, another issue was .. "Is it ok if a set of girlfriend/boyfriend be asked not to sit together?" Quite a few had vested interest in that one. Hehe .. We did about eight issues. It was a pretty good group, but we had to ask one of our continual troublemakers to leave. He was sitting next to us and every time we made a statement he would go off, then he would get up and down. He kept trying to get the group’s interest, but we weren’t in a space we were dealing well with it. We talked to Sr. Tess and the second time, she removed him. Seemed like a lot of people were gone. That’s about what I remember.

Let’s see staff training with the new DSP. First thought. Only two days left. We’re still not happy how easy it is for the DSP to lose her place. She has a good heart, but she’s not as orderly as I would like. She gets sidetracked in all the diversions and the group is very good at making them for her. I suppose there are a lot of personal needs, but she needs to be able to do group time too, where they are working from her level. Frustrated that I can’t get time in for her to do the formal structure part of staff training. She isn’t caught up in either scheduling the group or doing her evaluative weekly notes. Kind of hard to push for other stuff when we know that isn’t caught up. And, it seems the more important it becomes, the worse she is. She’s havinga very hard time concentrating. A good part of it is that she’s been preoccupied on personal matters that were distracting. *sigh* I know we’re all just people.

I think we have grant writing to do this weekend. I might do that in a while after clearing the desk. I’m having trouble concentrating myself. Must be a Saturday... Shoot, I know ... forgot to take medicines. Hmpf! Figures ... hold on. Almost 11 now .. Pshwoo that took a while. We’ll check back in a half hour from now see if our minds feel better. Not so opposing each other. Like you go first, no you, no you!

Relax, relax... Dr. M. is back again. He’s pretty amazing. One of our parts is pretty unsure he will ever figure out her secret. She’s not budging on it even though its been a month or two. Hmm, wonder what’s going on with that one?

What else, what else?

It’s pretty much a mess around here. ‘Cept our friend helped with some of the dishes again. He got to the place ahead of us. There’s still messes, I need to clean up. Things out of order. Don’t want to do that.

Let’s see, we went to get our lungs tested. Might have mentioned that though. We weren’t able to interpret the results he gave us. All worded in code. I’m pretty sure we could figure out more by going on the internet, but we don’t feel like doing that either. And, we forgot to bring it to Dr. M. I wonder if it automatically went to my computer file at the University. He gave me a sheet of paper to give to my doctor, but she is like 2 ½ months away. Eh. We had to sit in a glass cube that was small and inhale/exhale into a tube. Then he needed to check the oxygen in my blood with a needle and he left over a 50 cent piece worth of a bruise :( That’s no good. It still hurts and that was back on Wednesday.

Shoot, we’re doing some good complaining now. Is there something that would make us feel happy? Hmm, I remember doing something with the DSPs on Thursday about Quality of Life. I don’t remember too much about that. Must have been someone else.

Ahh, got some ice water when up. Feels good on the throat. Ahh beautiful day out. Just opened the door fully as well as the curtain. Hmm, our table relays that we’ve been eating a lot of Del Monte fruit! I wonder what happened to the garbage. It’s kinda messy. Nope, not ready for that yet. Not relaxed enough.

I know this is our process of letting go of the week. Been kind of a blur. Not sure if anything important happened. Probably most important is that we helped our client, I think that’s been having so many problems. I’m discouraged because I think the DSP is doing so little to help him out. But, we advanced on the housing. By the time I left Friday, he had been back to the better housing option. On Monday, he is going to schedule with the place and they are going to have him come for a practice sleepover. The representatives boss became involved after we started to complain the representative was doing little and had pressured our client into being at a place he did not want to go. Sister Tess got involved the day we stayed home to fix the car. YAY Sr!! That helped secure our direction.

Funny just remembering on when things had gotten to their worse. The representative was basically telling the father, he had to go to this place that nobody liked. It was right before we got permission to talk to her supervisor. I think we’d started to cry in front of her boss. I was just that sure that the 2nd option was going to be life forever terrible. It is one of those big warehouse places. They insist on each of their clients going to one of their five workshops.

The better place was much smaller and you were dealing with owners instead of low payed changing managers. The one place our client was eager to go to, the other made him sick. I knew that once placed it would be hard to change. I just felt terrible thinking, I couldn’t help him. I knew we could work with one place, but not the other. In fact, if he had gone to the bigger unruly place, our services probably wouldn’t be necessary. I’m not saying our place is the best, but at least we care about him and that’s important. We’ve been growing with him for the last five years. I still think he needs more literal work, but at this stage he is blocking all work. I think a good part of it is that his housing situation has been so in the air. He is a worrier. It will get better soon, right?

He spent a couple of sessions in my office this week. I think he needs a lot of time, but is not that difficult to help. I think he just needs someone nice to advocate for him. I think the DSP always acts to him like he’s not worth all the trouble. But, the way we figure it ... whichever client or clients are in front of us at the moment are the most important. I have to underline over and over again ... it’s about trust. Do they trust you enough to let you help. Cuz, in truth a lot of problems in themselves are not that difficult. Life runsfairly systematically. I was working with the group that’s been going through staff training. This week we concentrated on them individually as an example to the staff.

One client was having trouble concentrating during a computer group. Somehow we got to a screen of a spreadsheet. I thought this must be the most boring thing to her. But, then I asked, "Ok, how many boyfriends did you have when you were in elementary, middle school, senior high school, and now as an adult. She giggled herself through it. We placed the data on a chart, gave it some color and printed it out. She was just enthralled. This was like a picture of herself that she’d never put together before. Thing wasn’t the graph although she loved it and showed it off the rest of the day, it was that someone had spent a quality 10 minutes with her prioritizing her interests.

We had connected. We wanted them to know they made a difference. Now there is a sea of clients I see in my mind’s eye. I wanted good things to happen for each. One of the ladies came in for cards. She is pretty introverted, doesn’t speak much and rocks often. We let her pick out pictures of flowers, then printed half a dozen sheets each with nine flowers she could cut out, mix-up and match. It thrills me to death that after six years, she comes looking for me if she’s having problems. I know she knows who I am. Just makes you feel important to be helping others. I pretty much think clients are about the most amazing people. I feel it is part of my job as a staff trainer to convey this human interest in them.

The DSPs sometime get worn out from all the interactions. They work to some degree or another at setting up programs and experiences for their groups. I think all the extra behaviors and needs wear on them though. I can tell it when they start to gather to complain to each other, or avoid the subject of clients altogether. Too much personal needs they are needing to meet in one another. I do get involved at this support level too, but it has to be at a time it is not interfering directly with the clients. I had no patience for the DSP who seems to be using the last half hour of the day preparing for her weekend while she shoves a puzzle off on the one client remaining. You should at the very least be spending time listening to them. Communication is critical.

Ok, enough lecturing.

Maybe, we should spend the remaining time focusing on needs we can meet. Whatdid I learn this week?

People get tired and frustrated. That seems to be the time to do what? Back-off ... step-up-the-pace? Not sure. I know that it was a different kind of week for us because Dr. M. was gone. We were able to work ourselves through it, but it took effort. We weren’t able to listen to our news station while we were traveling. It became to burdensome. We focused on the importance of the Pope. We’re not even Catholic, but he seemed to be the man that connected more people than almost any other put together. Think the idea of making him a Saint is a good one. Seems like this is a predominant thought of many people. It will take five years though before it can be officially considered.

Now, in our much smaller microscopic world ... what is it that we are doing? If I keep having problems in getting by day to day ... well, let’s ignore that part for the moment. It’s a certainty we need the support of Dr. M. Besides that? Well, yes and that of a couple of friends and our boss, well, yes, and children too. BUT, beside this hehe ... we’re able to support others. I can rationalize therapy in my mind thinking that with this one huge support, I can support 50-60 others. The odds even out.

Now, how is the grand plan going? Where are we at? We’re figuring the Grant work we’ll do is still on a process level. When I pick it up, I’ll siphon out the right answers. I have this much confidence in our ability at this point. We’re over the first one. That’ll be the hardest. Plus, it was accepted by a couple of the important people we focus on. Pshwoo. That still has me thinking though because it is a grander scheme of thinking than we have had to do. It asks us to imagine problems and how they are going to need resolution. Last grant was in imagining caring for a job developer position. I understand that our friend wants to focus the next need of getting a recreation coach. Someone that is hired just to take care of the clients’ physical needs. This person is supposed to work with either a occupational therapist or a physical therapist. I think the occupational therapist more directly. Most of the clients are physically able.

First thing I’m going to need doing is convince my mind of the value of a recreation person. The last one had left a bad taste in my mouth. In general though, each time you get a special person in to take care of specific needs, that is a good thing. It should always contribute to the whole. It gives our program strength. Be reallysuper if we could get a guy, and really super to get one that gone through some college and is able to plan a real program. It’s not that I’m prejudicial, but with only one male on staff ... one that is rarely in the building ... we really do need this difference in role models.

Hmm ... I’d like not to think of this specifically at the moment though. I need to look at a more global position. Not a particular job need, but more ... how is the program going in general. I like the contribution that I’m being able to make as a staff developer, but that and program development in specific could use some more thinking. I’m still thinking that maybe in this next year, the center is going to hire a program developer and I might want to try for the position if I were able to stack my cards right. Although, I think the social work and psychology portions of my job are very important, I am also interested in developing a grand plan. I’m pretty sure part of that would include my continuation of staff trainer and CARF. I’d put myself in a position of helping all the clients, not just "mine."

Let’s see ... let’s work out that position ...

Oh Man ... What about an on-line Education Masters?

Domains and Subdomains Below are all of the domains and subdomains that make up this degree program. Each subdomain is made up of specific competencies, or performance descriptions, that correspond to the specific skills or knowledge areas you must master. Click on any of the domains for more information about competencies.

Research Fundamentals

Locate, select and evaluate various information sources.

Locate and evaluate the relative merits of published instruments.

Summarize, critique and interpret research studies.

Develop and conduct action research.

Locate, synthesize and present research.

Management and Innovation

Demonstrate the ability to secure, manage and justify technology project funding.

Develop and justify strategies and tactics for introducing and integrating new technology tools and techniques based on change theory or a change model.

Identify possible risks, contingencies and compromises to project success.

Manage the learning environment consistent with the learning goals.

Successfully express opinion, articulate ideas and successfully communicate.

Oversee and manage a project team and its process. Provide for relationships between all stakeholders, clients and/or vendors.

Instructional Design and Performance Improvement

Articulate performance and learning expectations appropriate for a specific instructional or performance improvement goal, its target audience, and context.

When presented with an instructional or performance problem/opportunity (given the front-end analysis) recommend and evaluate alternatives for solving the problem/opportunity considering instructional, performance support, or other institutional approaches. (Generate a general approach.)

Using established production standards and message design guidelines, select and design instructional materials.

Recommend, critique, and develop instructional strategies to create a learning environment that involves students in intentional, authentic, and generative activities. Justify strategies by referring to a relevant research and theoretical base.

Measurement & Evaluation

Design, improve and implement appropriate strategies for gathering data and summarize results that will support informed decision-making.

Employ appropriate tools and techniques to determine needs and other information to guide the design, development and implementation of a learning and performance improvement intervention.

Construct valid and reliable instruments to collect quantitative and qualitative data.

Design, improve and implement appropriate strategies for gathering data that will inform the revision and further development of the learning environment and performance improvement system.

WOW!!! This was worth a day spent!

Pope John Paul II

Hmm???

Dear Dr. M. *Whimper*

Dr. M in Georgia :(