Tired and disorientated

Good morning ... We’re up early again. Missy decided that she really needed a fresh bowl of food. Eh, can’t blame her. I’m a little afraid though because we just did the shopping and I misjudged the amount of food left ... Going to need correcting that in a week or so. We forgot the yogurt too. Silly of us. Second time in a row. Hmm, now they decided it was time for some can food. I think they are pushing me around too much!

We haven’t written for a couple of days ... and that seems kind of unusual for us, because after all it was the weekend and stuff. Most likely something happened during both mornings that kept me from this. Think it had something to do with my napping schedule. Both days we tried writing in the afternoon, but that turned up to be no good. It’s either early or nuthin. We had a pretty good weekend all told. We were able to talk on line, shop, and watch the football games and a couple of PBS specials. BEARS WON! Then also, our son stopped by and our friend stopped by. Otherwise, there was quite a bit of napping going on.

I absolutely love it when my son stops in ... We chatted and chatted. Hehe We’re still mostly listening, because his stories are a lot more interesting than ours. The big story was that he had his best day ever. We saw the look on his face to believe that he thought it was a fluke, could have gone the other way, but broke just right. So, within the first hour or two of the day, he made $15,000 on one trade. Yahoo! I asked him what he did after that. He said, he got out! Spent the rest of the day playing on-line poker. Naw, it’s nothing that the bosses mind. In all reality, instead of a regular break room at work, the bosses have installed a couple of poker tables. Eh, it’s a funny business! No, no it’s legit! I guess the traders go through a tremendous amount of pressure, so the vacations and games the boss installs are what’s called for to relax people a bit. I think they also have memberships over at a gym. Because sometimes Macadam will say that he and Tanner have gone over for a basketball game with a group of the guys. This and fantasy ball gameskeep himpretty busy.

We talked a lot about the games ... He showed me how they play the on-line poker. He plays through a site called Poker Stars. Pretty nifty actually. When we stopped by there were 250,000 people playing and this was only one site, there are other big sites to play poker. Hesaid he set up an account with $50.00 and while he was showing me how to do it through a penny game, he made $16.00 so was pretty happy with himself. He said, yeah ... gambling addiction isn’t a problem for him and the people he works for ... yeah like right! Nothin you can do, but tell him to be safe. Down in my heart I know that is relative term.

Tanner’s still having problems. He’s at the state where he decided to sell the Hummer and expensive half million dollar house to get something more reasonable to what he is now making. I think he’s going to keep the BMW. I think he’s learned the hard way that sometimes the money down at the board comes AND goes. Hard lesson, but at 22 years of age ... figure its better he learn the lesson now than later. He’s not the type of kid to over worry about having money. I think he enjoyed it when it was there, but found a lot of complications. People, especially some of his friends became very dependent on him. At the peak ... he was supporting a household of five other guys. He was the one always paying for the pizzas. Tanner’s got a heart of gold, but fell into a nasty temperament cuz he was the one who needed to set all the rules. I figure he’s still in that space.

Haven’t heard too much from Jacob. We had IM’d right before Thanksgiving and he said he’d come over, but arrange a time when Macadam was free too. That deal never materialized. I know in general, he’s back at school to some degree or another studying for mid-terms. I know he’s working on a psychology degree, or at least that’s what I was last told. We’re about as vague with his life as we are with Tanners. Guess pretty much this wasn’t how I’d expected it to be. But, I’m sure I’ve done enough wrong through their lives to deserve this. Shoot, shoot this was the direction we were heading Thanksgiving Day weekend. Leads to a lot of depressive thinking.

Let’s switch topics ... My friend came over to celebrate his 53rd birthday with us. Couldn’thave been more pleased. He liked the gift we’d gotten him and said he’d put the clock on his desk at the other place he worked. That suited me fine, because in reality, he’s over there more than our center anyway. It pleased me that he hadn’t had a regular clock in that office. He said that he’s been working on decorating it more than I’d last seen it. The pictures of his kids when they were small have been taken down and he’s updated them some. And, he has a collection of old maps and he’s framed a couple of them for the walls. He did state that he thought the clock was a little phallic, but nothing to do there, but blush and grin ... like uhuh, uhuh... We’d gotten him a "Hallmark" card - meaning nothing, but the best! Hehehe, but he left that here thinking that best keep that mushiness between us. Eh, its just like that.

We found ourselves angry that his family ... didn’t exert themselves too much for his birthday. He didn’t get gifts or the time of day from them. Just don’t see how they could have done that to him. We’re hoping that they made up for it on Sunday the day after his birthday. I think if anyone suggested to have another kid, we might say shoot him! Our general assumption of kids in their early 20's is that they’re on the selfish side. It’s all about their life and anything that is convenient to that. If you can’t help them, financially, you are really not of any value to them. They bring their emotions most likely to someone is more of their mindset. Shoot, still really being crabby with the whole child raising thing. Just a new set of rules I don’t understand.

I really veered off on our thoughts of being with friend ... We made sure that he had a nice time while he was over. Really try to spoil the hell out of him. But, then in this case I believe that its appreciated. Most often he can touch my heart without fear of it breaking.

This morning we have another meeting with Dr. M. I’ve got mixed feelings about that. On one side, we look forward to seeing him, because ... he is Dr. M. Top of the Earth type guy. Can’t say enough good about him. Still thinking he’s pretty close to the most perfect person, we’ve ever met. Then on the other hand ... we have to think about hard stuff again. I haven’t a clue for the moment where we are at with all that. I can imagine in this we’ve actually been blessed with someone that takes this type of active interest in what’s going on with us. Justits hard. He could have just sat back on his laurels and continued to listen to us merely griping, but somehow or another its gotten past that. There is a feeling that things been stepped up a notch ... and we’re still getting over the shock of the change. There is a feeling of vulnerability going in for the appointments. Mostly, because you don’t know where they are going to go. Last week, he asked some questions toward how is it that we "do" the experience of multiplicity. Like how do we know who comes out and why and how much thinking goes into all of it.

Really don’t know ... We’ve been writing for a year and as to our thinking abilities, you all probably know as much as us. We find we don’t think so much as we’re driving to his office or waiting outside of it. More than anything try to be in the present like looking at traffic, or to the interesting secretaries down in his new office. Hmm, starting to feel a little drowsy now ... not sure how that happened all of a sudden ... but difficulty thinking straight. Ah, yes, that mystery too. Our friend was on a stream of trying to convince us that we were smarter than him. Yeeks, I don’t think so!

Real groggy ... need to lay down.

We’re back again. Slept for a couple of hours. I woke up with a Sr. Tess nightmare. We’d had a general run-in with her last Friday. She didn’t like the job that I’d done in "preparing" for the First Aid Trainer. It didn’t matter that I’d never done it before or received no training. She said some nasty unprofessional things at me accusing me of botching things up badly. This was said, because I didn’t know that I’d have to locate the first aid books. She accused me of hiding them in my office. And, then yelled angrily when I looked in the first aid closet for them figuring that is where the first aid books SHOULD be. Turns out the last trainer still had them. Then he asked for our first aid kit. Knowing what was in the cabinet, I had asked Margarita the center’s driver to get one from the vehicles. I didn’t think so much of that kit, but at least it was complete. Sr. intercepted and became again angry at me. She dismissed me and reached for an old pathetic kit from the first aid cabinet. After the meeting, the trainer (paramedic) went to great lengths to laugh at what was in the kit. It didn’t even include band-aides and there was a Boy Scout tourniquet from the 40's. Now I have to explain to Sr. Tess what he expects to see in the kit next time without her jumping down my throat. Trying not to be unnerved. :(

Hmm ... more sleep ... Seems like I can take only so much and we start to shut down. Guess the next thing to do would be to take a shower. It’l ge ok.