Catchin the Spirit

Good morning, so how goes life? Yep, yep ... we’re in the thick of it! You’ve got me today in a mood that is a little abstract. I woke up tired around 5 am, was up for about an hour and went back to bed and slept for three more hours. I still have to complete an assignment, so I shouldn’t be writing all day, but can’t do a Saturday morning without the wish to go free-lance. This morning is hosted by Celine Dion. Hehe haven’t played her on jukebox yet and we have 128 songs ahead of us. Ahh, the coffee is hot and the morning stretches out ahead.

First thing is first ... we had a real nice evening last night. I picked up my friend about 20 minutes away (6:30 pm) and dropped him off at train station about 11 pm. In between, we had a real nice evening ... Italian too! He showed me where he is going fishing. He is leaving next Thursday for a week. That will be nice for him, but not so nice for me. I get to missing him when he is gone.

He’s going back to Canada ... His camp is Saskatchewan just on the border by what used to be called the Northwest Territories, or something like that. This is a picture of the kind of fish he will be catching ... pretty big, Hmm? Eh, it’s a guy thing ... give me a 5-star hotel any day! But, I am happy for him. I know this is really cool stuff that he loves to do. Yayyyy fishes!

We didn’t go into work yesterday. Called in sick. We were dealing with something that had happened the day before.

We were on the way to work and some guy tried to pick us up. We were driving down the boulevard by work and he pulled up to us at a stop light ... he drove his car next to us talking while we were moving and continued for three stop lights, until we pulled off suddenly to the left before the gas station. He couldn't turn so fast. The lights kept stopping us and we felt trapped. He said bad stuff to us ... mostly bedroom stuff. Dr. M. says that we can say to him stop, but we didn't know how to do that. He also said we could roll up our window, but we didn't think of that either. He made us cry.

We got pretty depressed. I think we are better today just kind of stuff that makes throbbing headaches. We had a session with dr. M. the day it happened so that was good. We’re still not remembering what all that was like, but I think it was hard. We had trouble leaving his space. Pretty sure there were younger parts. There was something about being in the corner with our hands covering our face. I’m not sure if that was about the bad driver, or our grandfather. But, that’s about all we can recall. Don’t really want to know more.

Hmm, Chief is up to visit again ... he got some real nice petting. I think he’s a little put-off by this not getting pouched food. Think next time, I am going to get three 12-packs to make sure we make the entire month. We have only one left. It looks like the money has cleared the bank, so maybe today we should be ordering some groceries. Stranger things have happened. Just that it takes some time and seems difficult.

Hmm, just a little more petting. He’s head butting me! Silly cat!! Wow ... we had another real long pet. Chief has a way of pushing himself into my chest by laying down in front of me. Then he forms a tight little circle tucking his head into my left fore arm while I’m required to do the petting/holding. Lasted about three songs. Very peaceful and relaxing. :) I think he is ready to take a nap now.

Ok, took a couple Advil, found a slimfast snack, another cup of coffee, and my ice water. Also picked up the living room and opened the curtains. We can do this.

So, what’s next? Hmm, still doing work. It’s still hard for us to go in, but we had a couple of productive days. Sr. Tess finally formally suggested that we should write the annual Report. She waited ‘til after a week into June and was prompted by us asking her the question, "Do you need our help?" She handed it all over to us, but of course, she is the one to make all the final choices. We organize and proofread. We also do the delegating. I’m trying to get through this year it will be a 20 page report. I am leaving the design aspects primarily on the secretary. She’s pretty good with that type of stuff and I’ve found in the past it is very time consuming. I don’t think she is as good, but she puts her heart into it and that maybe more important than anything else. It gives her a source of pride in her work and furthers her expertise.

Sr. And us are a little up in the air about whether we should include the individuals’ and parents’ surveys. I say "yes, she says "maybe not." I think this is the only format to really get out the word on what people are thinking of the service. I think it is very honest. She might be thinking that she doesn’twant people to know maybe what is being said? It usually runs pretty high in positive, but there is always one or two dissenters. *sigh*

I’ve written already the couple page program part, one on CARF, one on outings, one on building and safety, one on the self-esteem survey, and one on decision-making. I think there is one more, let me think. Can’t remember now ... there is one more... Sister has already approved them. In a streak of terribly good luck, she said, "Great" on the first, "Excellent" on the second, and "Wow" on the third. Hehe not to get too carried away, she put question marks on the fourth. Pretty darn neat though.

The secretary will do the cover pages and the table of content type things ... there is one more she can do ... She can put together the thanks page to people on boards. Matter of listing them out. I also farmed out the pictures thing. Sister and the secretary take a couple of days to do it. I don’t have that kind of patience. I say a couple hours max. So, I give that to them. Makes everyone happy. Sister has already completed her letter to the people and we’ll have to wait for the financial statements before we can conclude it. All in all going pretty good.

I had the Thinking Group on Thursday, before taking that day off. That turned out to be pretty good. We did some poetry. As it would turn out ... they were into Romance poetry. Seems we’re caught up in all the who loves who things. Pretty fun-loving group. Lots of love triangles though ... Pshwoo.

What else ... hmm, still not too much on the boys. Maybe Jacob will stay over next weekend and maybe I’ll talk to Macadam if he signs on today. About time we get the bills caught up. I think this is the week they take the ultra-sound test. I hope so. Think it’s a while yet before we find out girl or boy. Maybe soon. I’m out of touch with modern day medicine. *Sigh*

hmm, little tummy problem now. Eh, this too will pass. Patience ... patience ...

I was just reminded by another Journalists’ post that it is father’s day tomorrow. I am going to just let that one ride elsewhere. We’re just over two years since my father’s passing. We were getting over some pretty bad grieving just the time we started this journal. Still at the stages of holding the bad memories. Let it go, let it go.

Yesterday, My friend saw a couple of checks from Christmas sitting on a shelf from my mother and grandmother. He said and here you being so poor ... but, I’m pretty sure I’m not going to cash them. They’re probably too old now anyway. I don’t want to be apart of anyone’s family but my own. I’m pretty sure of that too. Ok, that was warm and personal ... yeeks!

Next.

Hmm, it seems besides a few pictures of the boys, there’s nothing I want from our past. Little scary though with Dr. M. Seems we’re going through that stuff. Maybe that’s why I am so against it now. Just seems its all bad, bad, bad. Hmpf!

Ok, Next ... Let’s try a quantum leap!

School. Ok, we’ll do that. Seems it’s going pretty good. We still need to put in mega-work this weekend. I have an assignment due today, and we need to be putting time into the final project. I think the only thing that is competing with it is my laziness today and wanting to get vacuuming done. Don’t have anything else on agenda. Hmm, except maybe ordering curtain rods and ordering groceries. *sigh* there is always something.

Hmm, nobody is probably going to like this given our finances, but we ordered our curtain rods for the back kitchen and bedroom. It’s just that I’m so close to finishing the house, I can taste it. I want to complete the work. I started this home improvement project last year Mid-June ... it has taken a while, but I am very proud of the accomplishments made. I have felt soooo good about coming home, especially when I ‘ve been able to keep her clean. I still look at the items purchased and swoon at how wonderful they have made me feel.

This is a long time coming from the days when everything was handmedown from the in-laws or purchased at a rummage sale. I do have my father to thank for this. That and some good work on our part. This feels like MY home!!! We’ve spared little to put it together. Yesterday, while we weren’t feeling so good, we chose the corner of our couch, and holding stuffed dog and cat, we played a period movie found on "On-demand." We let all of our worries and concerns fall back and we drifted through a couple of hours. It made me feel safe. Not as safe as I am behind the computer, but that too is a part of the newness of our life. That and school. Just being enchanted to pieces!

Ha ... new coffee pot too!!!

Shoot, how can I sit in any one moment and soak-up enough of what we have managed? Hmm, Vacuum? LOL - that’s new too! One more smoke then we’ll start. Celine is singing, "My heart will go on." I haven’t heard that song for quite a while. It’s been one of my favorites. It’s coming up to one of those perfect moments. Still, even hear the birds ... balcony door is wide open. Kitties are peacefully napping. Everything feels good. Would kind oflike to look around and see what we’ve done. Shoot, maybe we’ll even learn to dust! Wouldn’t that be something!

I think after we get the curtains and pictures up, we’ll have to manage to get some pictures taken. Camera has disappeared though. Lent it out to our friend and he can’t seem to find it. *sigh* Maybe it will show up one day. But, since then ... He bought a camera I think. Maybe he’ll let us use that one. Owe someone special a couple pictures of someone’s kitties too! Hmm, that’s a nice thought. Ok, ok vacuumin!

Woo Hoo!! One room done in one sweep! Pretty good, maybe next bathroom, hallway and first bedroom. Emptied out the dirt holder thing too. Pretty sure there is a whole cat worth of hair collected from Mr. & ms. Kitty! Pshwoo...

Need to do litter box and empty garbages too. My friend took downstairs the last of the boxes placed in back of kitchen holding area ... today, might be the day I do something with those computer boxes sitting in the front hall. Hmm, let’s make that a for-sure thing! Make us AND the neighbor feel better. Coming-along here, coming-along nicely.

Maybe after vacuum the whole place, I should be lookin into doing some school work. We weren’t in a place yesterday, to do much beside just look at it. We started to do reading, but didn’t get much further. I’m sure though after we start, we’ll feel better about it. It’s about plagiarism this week. Nothing not to exciting. The point is ... don’t do it! Hehehe I know, I know ... might learn something to make that all better. Gots to do what you gots to do.

Thinkin that we’re avoiding something obvious. Not sure what that is. Maybe the work being done with our Dr. M. That’s still on my mind. I wish we could come to some clarity. It’s like a nagging tooth. Can’t see clearly, what we can’t think of. Maybe that’s a safety.

I think on Monday morning anniemi, corey, and even Kate were out. Mostly corey though. I think she is feeling bad about not being able to feel things proper. It is like we can know that something bad happened, but we’re not able to process it at a feeling level.

Though, we are still responding to it in negative feelings toward ourselves. I think this has improved considerably since school started, and even before that. We have the feeling that we’re still carrying a burden that we can’t get over. Can’t even get a grasp on the entirety of it. Like holding a globe In one’s hand. Or, like mentioned earlier ... even sensing the whole apartment as if holding it in one grand thought. We just get glimpses of things. Maybe this is because each of us are holding our own parts of it and no body is then seeing the whole of how "We" in general perceive our living space.

We keep trying though. Pretty sure that is important. There got litter box and garbages. I guess next we’ll get another round of vacuumin done. Moving along ...

Now, that nagging problem of not reaching the depth of something we want to be handlin. Especially, given a Saturday. I see it’s just checked into the afternoon. It’s ok ... not going to panic. The depression stuff makes us tired. Maybe that is it ... how do we better take care of ourselves? Suppose, we could achieve something by getting the grocery shopping done? Hmm, that’s a chore. Maybe though we can still get it delivered tomorrow .. That will be something. Let’s take a look.

Pswhoo. That’s done! Spent enough to last a month. Good deal. I only did a so-so job with meat this month. Seemed to be more focus on smoothies and I got some pop, chips, dip and cookies for hopefully, when Jacob sleeps over next weekend. Can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to that .. It’ll be heavenly to have him here for that long a time. He hasn’t been over since before we started decorating last year. We’ve got now a great couch, cable, a big computer, dinner and snacks! I think he’ll like the place. I sure do hope so! We’ve got to commit to not opening those entemann’s cookies though ... listen up girls ... they are going home with Jacob!!!

Woo Hoo, Friend coming over again!!! Not until 6 or 7 though. But, we will take it!!! He’s thinking CHINESE. YAYYYYYYYYY! We’ve missed our Chinese for two weeks in a row!! Good thing we’re vacuumin ... got the bath, hall 1rst bedroom done. Now just kitchen and 2nd bedroom. We’re going to make it. Maybe he can tell me how to make filet mignons. Kind of went over-board for Jacobs visit ... we want him to be treated nice and then maybe he’ll come back. Pretty sure, until he gets a girl no one can treat him as well as his own mother! Like to be spoilin him to pieces!

Hmm, wonder why we haven’t got a receipt back from groceries yet. Sure hope card went through ... bank says the monies has been put to account. *sigh* Just be patient, right?

Well, I guess we’re not going into too much depth with this entry. Probably should get started on that homework, if we’re to expect a visitor :) Hmm,maybe I could swiffer too? That be great! Sure glad I did the garbages now. Shoot, we’re turning into a domestic worry-wart! Took my medicine, right? Yes, yes ... did that, been there! What is going on with our mind??

Did I mention friend was happy to see the place looking so good. He made sure to preface it so as not to insult me. But, this is the guy who’s done countless dishes for us trying to help us catch up. Sure, sure was nice! Hmm, looked for squirt bottle ... they didn’t have anything I want some kind of mister for the living room coffee table. They say just use water. I suppose water on paper towel is still the way to go. Let’s try one more round of vacuumin. HA! Done! Feeling kinda warm. Sure wish I had that slushy drink! MMM...

Woo Hoo! Just had a great idea. I’ve had in storage a really nice shower curtain that I’d bought previous. And somewhere along the line, we had gotten a new liner. Lordy, for 12 minutes of time have we waited five years to put this up?!?? I’ve always hated the plastic see through one there. Hmm, just coming out of a dense cloud! The one I’d purchased is a beautiful and loved cloth soft peach-colored light floral with black trim and holders. Shoot sometimes, we’re so gosh darn silly! I wonder what else is in that bedroom closet? This curtain was the only one I’ve ever purchased and it was originally for the Victorian house on Douglas back 15 years ago, but it is still in mint condition. Wow! Just something! Ok, ok ... I know ... only a shower curtain. *sigh*

I’m taking over this house! YAHOOOO!!!!

Lookin around ... what else? Hmm, is it against some household rule to dust after one has vacuumed? Whoops almost forgot was side-tracked by shower curtain when only really going in for wet paper towel. BRB

Ahh, that was easy. Did table & dusted bookshelves. WoW! First time I’ve done that since ... well, quite a while. It wasn’t too hard either. I wonder if I would do this if I didn’t think Jacob was coming. *Sigh* s’pose I’ll never know. Feels good, although, my body’s feeling tired and achy. GREAT FEELING actually!! I’m being encouraged by my friend who says, he actually enjoys getting out to the games and sweating a little bit. Least there is our nifty shower to be getting into! Hmm, still might turn on the AC. Hold on. Having fond memories of being outside doin things like washing car, trimming shrubs, lawn mowing and raking. Them were the days ... I could move for hours at a time before sitting on the steps to have some ice water. Wow!

Ahh, that ought to do the trick. Shoot, I’m really, really avoiding my homework. I better think seriously about it now. Guess we’ll see you later? Sorry, we weren’t so profound today ... relaxing though! Feelin Good!