Jotting down a few thoughts

Good morning. I just wanted to write a little update. I am giving myself 45 minutes to do so. I ended up calling in sick today, because I could not get through my mind that many hours away from school work. I really messed up yesterday in not having gotten too much done. Something must have gotten done. Just having a hard time remembering. I know that I went to Dr. M’s in the morning, stopped by to do some errands, and that I was commenting to a peer when my friend walked in at 3 pm. Then he left about 6:30 pm and I did something on the computer after, but am not to sure what it was. I was trying to study the school thing this morning and I have been reading, but somewhere in all that I felt I was in a daze and sleepy. Maybe someone was paying attention??

I had been finishing up yesterday’s coffee, but I figured I could afford now to start up a fresh pot. Trying to remember what we talked to V. About ... just remember something about worrying over my grades. That can’t be good :(

I did take my medicines about 10 minutes ago. Maybe that will help.

I feel such a strong urge to want to be concentrating on school. I remember something was said to Dr. M. About something. Not sure. He told us we should take some breaks and get away from it. But, I was afraid for the foggy periods like I’m feeling now. Hours slip past and I’m not sure what is happening. Sometimes I can see progress at other times not. I really wanted to get done with some serious reading yesterday and Sunday. I’m not so sure of yesterday, but it took us a long time to get through reading done on Sunday. Saturday was spent finishing up the work of last week. I got both assignments finished, but just by the hair of my chinie-chin-chin. *Sigh*

I remember saying something to Dr. M. About how I really enjoy studying. Hmm, think we said the same to our friend. Sometimes though I’m appalled that we slipped of into unconsciousness. I look at the clock and see that we’re again missing time. Or, more often than not, I find that we are back at the courseroom, looking around to see if anyone’s dropped by with new thoughts.

We have a great conversation started with one of our peers in multi-cultural, but I read something this morning about white people intellectualizing. I think I’ve been doing that ... I want to understand with words exactly what is happening. I can easily see somebody get upset and say, "That’s racism!" But, I want to know what they mean. All my life, I’ve just thought, "Be nice!" I don’t feel in this course that is enough. We have to figure out underneath where we are at. I guess for further understanding, I’ll just point to the direction of our other journal. You’ll find it under, "something Grad student."

In the other course, we spent a lot of Sunday time trying to understand the different structures and contents of the brain. Trying to give ourselves a little break for just breaking through the surface. Most people interested have spent more time figuring it out. I feel a sense of panic in only having spent one day. I needed to really study it hard. Needed to figure out all these places they were talking about ... then there was all these systems, like limbic system and peripheral nervous system, and such. I look back now and I struggle to think of the limbic system hold three other parts of the brain. But, it’s a harder struggle to come up with the names. So, it’s making me feel kind of on the dumb system. At least, at this point, I can look back into the book and realize some sense of familiarity. I can leap from page to page looking for a diagram I am holding in my brain. But, somethings confuse me. Like if they say the cerebral cortex processes thinking ... I don’t get an understanding of how that happens. I want details, but not to have my mind blow away. I’ve gotten as far as knowing there are synapses between neurotransmitters do something ... hmm, are they the chemical messages being shot out the neuron. It’s this kind of fuzzy knowledge that is weighing me down at the second. In order to hold images of what is happening I need to draw on words to hold my structures together, but my framing system looks like Swiss Cheese. :( It makes more sense as I am reading it, but again, I need to go over it and over it again to hold any sense of it. While all the time, I know I have to stop to get the hard reading in. Hmm, maybe it will make more sense then, because I will hear how all these things are put together? I wouldn’t though count on me for brain surgery any time soon, unless it be "I" who is the patient!

I am feeling a competition between the two courses too. I want to be wherever I am at the time being, while always realizing I should be checking in on the other. There is so much work to be done in both.

I have 15 more minutes, than it will be 8 am. A good time to start up again, but maybe I should figure out now my game plan. I finished the cognitive lab project. AND, the teacher has written back saying because I was the first, my way of doing it must have been right so I get an "A." Can’t go wrong with logic like that. BUT, he told the class we would work on lab projects and journal entries opposite weeks, so I don’t have that to do, and although I read the chapter there isn’t any regular discussion questions. Is this right? I have also not read the other 3 sources that are required reading. So, I guess for the Cog course, I have to read about 60-75 pages without a specific means of conveying what I have or have not understood about the brain.

In the other course, I have five more chapters to read. I think we can answer Wednesday’s questions from the first chapter. I looked and so far no one has handed in the assignment. Maybe, I should do that one first. I’m only 12 pages away from finishing that first chapter. Hmm, that should take me up to about noon. Maybe for the next 5 hours, then I can go back to the cog reading. But, when will I finish the other 4 chapters of multi? That will take some time. Better plan a few more hours (after 5 and before 8 to be reading some more of that, then I can get up in the morning to munch down another piece of it. The reading for multi- is much easier than the reading for cog.

Ok, it is a plan, scheduling in a washroom trip NOW!!!

Ahh, hot steam fresh coffee on the return. YAYYYY Coffee!!!

Let’s see 7 minutes. Maybe I should plan ahead so I still have time to read the post. Ok, ok ... that’s a plan!

AHA!!! Less we forget GOOOOOO SOX!!!  7 PM tonight!!!!