Make it a goal to become independent. This is not to say others aren't important, but to really meet that healthy significant other(s), you have to be one with yourself. Kahil Gibran wrote that being married was like two separate pillars holding up the same arch. Part of being independent is to take on responsibilities. This is along the same path as having personal rights.
Learn to make choices. You cannot change other people, you can only change yourself. Watch your behaviors. Choose positive. Make this a conscious process and you will find yourself empowered. Choose also to listen to others and ask questions of them. Reject what you don't need. Don't be afraid to be curious and choose to validate often.
Know your God or higher power. People are fallible. We all make mistakes. Find a balance with your true nature ... live, love, and laugh. Learn to eat proper and exercise. Drink water.
Learn to let go ... especially of things you no longer need. It means decluttering your life. The more you live in the present rather than the past or future, the clearer your thinking will be. Learn to collect information, analyze it, then respond to it. This is all done in the present.
And last, be nice to yourself. Make it a point to do this every day. When you do some good or very good, let your mind hear it. Be tolerant of your faults and those of others. Acknowledge your own mistakes, then choose to change them by leaving an alternative "better" path for those brain synopsis' of yours to follow until they become habit. Let go of the guilt and frustrations of having not been perfect.
Lincoln once said, "If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem." Don't miss out on helping the next guy, but, always take care of your needs first. Don't wait and hope someone will know how to best take care of you, or expect someone to "prove" their love. Be independent.
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