Top of the Morning

Morning ... How’s everyone? I’m sorry, it appears we’ve been away from the journal for the last couple of days. We’ve been pretty busy over at the "Hall of Fame" Journal. Pshwew! Yesterday, we needed to take our last vacation day or lose it to the new year. It turned out to be a very productive day here at home!

There’s a warning for the moment ... we’re a little fuzzy, due to just waking up. We went to bed and woke up 3 times during the night.  This last time it was due to vivid dreams of a family reunion. Hmm, go figure! Its that kind of thing that happens, that suggest that some of us could manage to spill the old coffee grounds taking them over the few feet to the garbage. *Sigh*

We’re very happy to report that the results have been excellent! We added more journals after we’d made the count to be 55, and it appears now there’s been more than a dozen journals added since we fell asleep. *Giggle* that’s not including Viv’s email ... we snuck a peek and found that she had also responded back to the email asking for permission to publish a listing. We hadn’t realized though, she has 10 journals! What a gal!! We teased back that, "Now we have our Tuesday work set out before us" :)

We were also very happy to find that yesterday Mr. Scalzi saw fit to add us as a link in his journal. It was in regard to our list made out in this journal on Saturday. Couldn’t have been more pleased!  Thank you Mr. Scalzi!!

Most of our pleasure though falls between two areas realized yesterday. The first is the initial excitement opening up so many journals that are brand new to us in the collecting process. I think the wealth of journals that are out there is truly the most amazing thing.

The other takes place while still sending out mail.  You all have been very quick to respond.  And, it behooves us in all thrilldom to be saying, "Thanks!!"

It should be noted that Pam’s list has become international! We’re still giggling in pleasure over one of the journalists who’sbeing highlighted by Gregg. This new UK leader sports on his first entry page a picture of himself wrestling with an alligator! There are so many wonderful surprises coming up!

There is enough to be doing that we are really trying not to read the journals as we go, or we’d never finish, but sometimes this is pretty nearly impossible. One of our favorites is about this poor woman who is called by loudspeakers at a grocery store. Seems her young son is happily half undressed and, ... well, we’ll let that story unfold on its own!

Some of the people who write to say they’d like to be in the Hall of Fame Journal stop to talk a moment. I felt in the midst of a celebrity to find that one of the journalists was is a semi-finalist in the "All-Star Blogger!" We say, "Go Jerry, you Nascar Nut!!"

Hmm, that’s about it for the morning ... I would like to add one more note! I want to thank personally two people, both Viv and Pam for being so much fun to work with over the last couple of days! There is so much positive energy coming from these two woman that it could make a girl want to cry! I look forward with wondrous pleasure to guess what is coming up next between them and everyone involved in the First Year Anniversary. Just has to restore your faith in humanity!!

That’s it pretty much it for our morning writing ... *giggle* Might turn out that the boss would still appreciate us coming in :) Take care of the day, my friends!  And, thank you again ... it's terrific fun to be meeting you! 

Post note:  We have managed our way to work and the boss looked happy to see us :)  To our most welcome surprise, Charlie is joining the Hall of Fame journal too!  He is so far, and most likely, the oldest active AOL journaler!!  Most kind thoughts to you Charlie!  Way to go!!!

 

Man-o-man Viv - Look What You Done Started!

Mornin! Mornin!! Yeeks, maybe we should be saying ... "Afternoon!" Sorry ... this whole new idea of having off on Saturdays has caught on like wildfire over here! Can’t place enough exclamation marks! 

We are very psyched and into the day. First thing has been to get around to your all’s journals. Oh, the pleasures you inspire! I have a real sense of visiting with coffee mug in hand. That old "left key under the rug" sense. There’s been lately some real nice emails, Ims, and shoot, what do they call those cute little notes that pop up reminding you the j-doorbell has been rung? Just love those! Nothing at work can keep me from turning around to see whose visiting besides the boss visiting in my office directly. :)

Really feeling a sense of belonging ... We find ourselves breathing in each moment, exhilarated to be starting the next. Oh, yeah ... let’s see the hands ... I know this is happening to you guys too! And, if it isn’t, it should!!

Ok, cutting down on the exclamation. Calm down...

Well ... I gotta tell ‘ya ... I’ve nothing much more important to be talking about than the One year celebration. My gosh ... like one day later and at least 5 different journals has publicized the event that we’re covering. That’s pretty exciting! 

You could guess that we’re overly detail-minded, or at best a little nutty.  But we assure you it is a valid necessity. Sometimes the chatter gets to be so much as a multiple that it has to be "channeled," just to avoid flight." We find that when we totally focus on one thing or another, we are able to progress the issue pretty quickly.

Then sometimes, I think I’m the result of a head on crash with the blue bird of happiness :)

I’m in need of some focusing now?  This might be long (Floralilia slumps in her chair now).  Ok,deep breath. I think I’m going to frighten anyone who doesn’t already know us. Deep breath.

First thing I want to say ... is something really nice about Vivian as head of this celebration. I think she’s about the smartest intuitive person that is out here. How else to explain the wonderment of her mind for having come up with an event to further tie hundreds of on-line friends tighter as a large group. AND, this isn’t the first time that she has done it!

If I remember correctly, the thing to do though is try to impress that she has to take naps and sleep at night, and that maybe it is a good idea to start thinking maid service again. I’ve always thought my position to be best at encouraging those of whom are natural leaders. We’ve had this discussion before ... it’s not that any of us can afford to schluff off responsibilities on one other, but it is like having a wonderful head of household that everyone bolts together to support, cuz ... you just want to see her happy! Needless to say, I think everyone feels close to Viv as if in one close extended family. Think this credit goes to Viv’s Mom and Pop for having placed Viv in the middle of a large loving family.

Hmm, next is to think of the list Sam has presented this morning. I love lists! Wanted for a moment to progress those thoughts. Think Sam had a wonderful idea that was very organized. I hadn’t been aware of all these things that were going on. Sam says,

"Every Blogger on AOL journals is invited to our One-year old Birthday Party." 

This is where the list begins and the resources grow...

1) comment in this entry:   [viv] Pretty sure the reference is to this entry ...

or if not that one ...

this one ...

2) comment in this entry:  [scalzi] He's into something BIG here!

think Slo’s going to be pretty supportive on the 24 hour thing, Slo be the one ... signed on also for Frank’s dedication, graphics, and I think she’s voluteered for reunion committee!

3) comment inthis entry:  [gregg]

that one was pretty easy ... wow ... lots of excited people!

Take a note ... Awards Journal

Awards Graphics:

4) comment in this entry:  [flora]

5) send a photo here:          [carly] or Here

Hmm, Carly is working on the piece for Frank too! Hmm, Think Mara as well.

6) and here:                         [gregg]  Major hi-way

7) send e-mail here:           [JLandAnniversary@aol.com]

8) and/or here:                    [haiku contest] or Here

9) and/or here:                   [ Funniest Home Typos ]

Sam - is a pretty "on-time" kinda gal!

10) register here:                  [Pam's Directory]

11)  register here:                   [B2BInt'l group link]

12) visit here:                        [Hall of Fame-Ayn]

13) display one or all of these logos:             [b2b/anniversary/torch/fever/I'm in! images]

14) order t-shirt here:          [CafePress address]

15) nominate journals here: [gregg]

listed above, but as well - think also Lisa has offered to do some pimping

and I think Andrea has volunteered to help Gregg with writing

16) then vote here:               [gregg] same

17) enter your float here:     [tracy]

Hmm, not sure about a tracy ... I think hemp is stacy, maybe this is her?  Please someone help me out here.

I really need to go to the popular journals more often.

Hmm, this TJ person seems to be involved. Whew! This TJ person’s bringing ...

"the worlds largest avacado filled to the top with dip and laying on abed of colorful chips!"

18) enter your quilt square here: [Penny]

Not sure if Penny wasn’t volunteered by Sam in the following comment section. Hehe

19) write about it in your journal  

Anyone else ... ?Ahh, man ... a few more at least!  Vince has got to be the best gatherer of people!

The Slack of course, he’ll Paint, Pote, Bounce, Join & Exposit @ length...filosofically, perhaps.

Pam of course is the historian

Barb for the prayer

Vince for the poem

Marcia Ellen will accept a role, hmm? Maybe she'll do a short story?

Whew! I guess Karen is the "hot" person in town? Bet she has connections!

Hmm, Gemini person is private

Kathy’s pretty cool - good with graphics ... web page too! Shoot match her up with Slo!

Jeff got humor covered

Steven ... I hear your already doing a camera project ... maybe others will join too!

Jennifer - volunteered for clean-up committee *Giggle*

hmm, this Barbara person sounds like a sweety ... signed on as volunteer!

Yay ... nother volunteer ... and Hillary is moving to boot!

Interesting Robin says she can do show tunes - I’d sign her up for a cake too!

Don’t let Rose get away ... she says she’ll do a celebration entry, but wow ... her journal is beautiful ... What a creator!

Ahh, and than all the partygoers who have sent in their RSVP

First there is Christina and

Mrs. Linkletter’s coming (ask her to bring some tuna Tetrazzini casserole!)

Maybe Lisa - could speak to the issues of our environment

Lisa is on board as well ... shoot ... two Lisa's in a row, pretty sure confusion is setting in...

Think Karen might be private

Mary - seems a good candidate volunteer for the convention group

Babyshark - shoot - there is need for literature expertise here somewhere ... a consultant if I ever saw one!

Cool Peachy is hosting a block party with a regional collage!

Heheh - Fairplay is all over the chimpanzees and wheat germ!

20) suggest stuff to AOL here:    AOLHometown@aol.com These people always say to give them a shout!

Hmm, this has turned out to be quite a list ... Viv, can we just forward it over to you? Not sure what is here that you don’t already have ... but I figure that I’ve got my seat nailed to the parade route! :) Can’t imagine how much more you’re getting in email, but there’s reasons some of us take on more simpler packages.  I do have to say, I think I have a better handle on things than I had. Maybe it will be useful to others too?  Just so many new faces to meet. Brings tears to my eyes to be a part... Thank you Viv! Oh, and Floralilia? That’s only 10,350 words!! 

Oh man ... if I've missed anyone or messed up here ... please just shoot me!  Umm, or leave a kind note?  I'm willing to correct anything until the next person steps up to progress this even further :)

Sam - This one is for you too!  Without your work ... well, Good job Sam, Thanks for letting us share.  We love to figure things out ... its like "our" thing.

*Sigh* So much to do, so much to do...

Mornin ... Mornin... We’re up and at ‘em fully charged. Has to do with talking to Vince first thing! Man-o-man ... can’t beat that company! How’s everyone else?

Seems we’re getting all the professional approval that we need for the new site. Floralilia’s been over and Viv,  Pam, Vince and Sam too. It’s for sure a "go forward!" We had a little problem with one of the sample entries having been worded strongly, but I think we’re over that first hump.

Otherwise ... I wish we could say our day had been productive yesterday. But, we had a lot of client interruptions. Mainly, by the one client who’s been giving us trouble over the last three days. I really think it is the coke that he is drinking (sugar) and to make it worse he might be having trouble because his father is going out of town for a family reunion this weekend. This one, we’ll be glad to hand back over to the returning Sr. Tess. This is why we have "Big Guys!"

Hehehe - that and one of the toilets refused to quit running yesterday. That could have been a problem. Sr. Janice knew just what to do. [Crises over]. Hehe

Hmm, that was a trip ... Vince let us know that His Eminence, the Holy Golden Child has announced a new site called B2B Int’l. Wow! Can’t beat Gregg for brains! I mean His Eminence! It’s going to be a beauty of a site. Really, put our mind in a different place to catch up on all that he is offering the community. How on Earth am I going to segue back to lowly talk of my rambling day .. while my mind is left amazed and bedazzled?

Hmm, where to go, where to go ... and now time is running short.

Can we jump subjects here? One thing I did want to make a note on was that ... we’d gone back to Dr. M’s as scheduled yesterday.I’m like running a million and two miles faster than being in a place where I could even begin to figure all that out. But, I figure a note should be left.

We know Casey came in, then it gets fuzzy. The names that are being mentioned are Gracie and Mimi. Oh, and Anniemi. I don’t know why all these parts may have been out. Mimi and Gracie are two out of our three youngest parts. We figure Gracie to be like a couple of years old, and Mimi is yet younger.  Gracie has made a few appearences before, but I think this is Mimi's first.

It seemed very hard on Casey for them to be out. It made her cry. She seems ok now ... mostly just tired.

That’s about it for this time ... need to get going. Wouldn’t do to belate, Sister’s first day back. :) Take care of the day!

Brevity Sr. Floralilia, Brevity...

Mornin ... Mornin ... We are all here and am well and good. How ‘bout you?! We had on our big smile last night as we were honored to make Floralilia’s new journal, "Succulent Wisdom."

Go figure ... it would be in regard to our absence of brevity! :) Eh, well we all can’t be a Vince, ya know? *Silly Grin.*

While thinking what an excellent idea that crossed Floralilia’s regal brow in having started her new journal for the community, we started really figurin how we might contribute something to the general efforts of the First AOL Journal Celebration.

What occurred to us was to start a new journal called, "The AOL Journal First Year Hall of Fame." Really cool actually. You can click on the link to get a better idea of what we’re talking about. We’ve began processing journals while waiting for Viv’s official, "Okie Dokie." Very exciting for us ... it’s a project right up our line! :)

Yeeks, too busy this morning to write much ... for all the appreciative Floralilia’s who are sparce in their language spreading ... Umm, we're only going to say ...

Yesterday, we got up, wrote, went to work, worked, came home, thought, then went to bed. In between we ate ... good stuff too! Our major preoccupation of time was the Staff Training. Today, we’ll try to absorb our time in finishing the silly Performance Analysis Report that’s taking forever. In other big news ... Sr. Tess comes back tonight, so she’ll be at work bright and early tomorrow morning. We’ll miss the happy tagteam of Sr.’s Flo and Janice.

Our friend still remains on vacation fishing. Our boys are doing terrific ... two down at the Board of Trade changed offices this week. The youngest ... enjoying his stint doing summer work at Best Buy. Our psychiatrist is still high on the charts AND d*mn good looking for a "younger guy!" We’ll be seeing him tonight.

Kitties are resting comfortably on the balcony. Whoops nearly nabbed a bird that time.  That’s about it! Perhaps tomorrow ... we’ll write again. You just gotta know it! :)

Crossword Puzzles?

Mornin. Wanted to say a special hi and thank you to Kimmie for stopping by. Most of you already know her apparently by the size of her "inbox," but for posterity we’ve been leaving ourselves notes of late of the people that enter our lives and favorite journals. Kimmie is a mother of six beautiful children. Hehe - yep well that’s a pretty good introduction in and of itself! She and her hubby share a special love and have taken God’s work into their own hands. This week’s entry includes taking in a stray kittie. You just have to know her heart is extra big! Kimmie is working specially hard on a diet, like us. Though we’ve not come close to anything as grand as 3-4 mile walks. To a new friend, we say, "Go Kimmie! Welcome to our world!" :)

There is not a whole lot of time left for this early morning. Seems like its going to be busy all day. We stayed up late last night because the two Sisters decided that we really needed to watch a movie called, "Radio." Can’t remember the last time we watched a video ... although I’ve seen a couple now over at our son’s place. I enjoyed the movie. I’m not sure how long its been "out there." I’m so illiterate with these things. It’s the story of a young man who has developmental disabilities and the affect he’s had on his town. Nice story ... makes you smile :)

Groceries came in last night, so I’d come home earlier than usual. Kind of funny really. We were able to read a lot of journals and had even picked up a little bit, though I’m not sure if moving piles of "stuff" from one corner to another really counts. *Silly Grin* We thought also to call and leave a message on our friend’s cell phone. Just enough to let him know we haven’t forgotten of him :)

Yesterday was a pretty good working day. Well, at least in the morning. One of our clients who is out working is being given just two more weeks to prove herself. She is having a tough time in keeping up. We went to the computer and pulled out pictures of food items so that she can be drilled on which items go in first to the grocery bags. I’m not sure if it will be enough help fast enough. We sent home a note to her family alerting them of the trouble. I sure hope the Center’s job coach is able to put in a little extra time with this one. Jobs are hard to come by and the client wants to work. *Sigh*

Earlier in the day, we spent most of our time working on the CARF report. Really wanted this to be finished before Sister Tess gets back. In so doing, I had to put off Staff Training which will be held this afternoon. Sister had prefaced she wanted this meeting going towards getting the new season schedules in place, so there wasn’t much planning involved. Maybe we will include some of the work we’ve done on the charts for each of the areas. Hmm, maybe that IS a good idea. Want to let them know of how the client’s preferences really do count.

I also spent a little time yesterday doing our first observations for the new year starting July 1rst. I haven’t gone over it formally, but I’d like to do that too before the staff meeting. I want the DSP’s to know ... this is what we are looking at when we see the clients interacting. I did the observation while all four groups were out socializing on the court yard after lunch. I’m not sure if I was real pleased with what we were seeing.

There are being hurts and insults out there without a lot of staff interaction. I need to better understand what their "plan" is. I know I have to focus my thoughts though not so much on what isn’t happening with them as much as what is happening for the clients. What is being set up out there is an establishing of a pecking order. It be ok, but we’re always on the look out for the under dog.

Not sure which day Sister will be back. I probably should confirm that this morning. We are thinking its either tomorrow or Friday. It has been a very nice calm week. But, there are parts of me who are missing Sr. Tess. Not in anyway do I miss all the yelling, but I do miss the "content" of her thinking processes, and maybe some of her seriousness focused on the clients and Center.

Yesterday, there was a moment when I’d entered the Sister’s office to send a fax. Sr. Flo was at Sr.’s desk gabbing on the phone and Sr. Janice was at the side computer table working a crossword puzzle which was put away and work pulled out after she noted that I was there. Sure wouldn’t catch Sr. Tess working puzzles during the middle of a work day! That left a strong imprint.

That’s about it for the amount of time we have to be writing. Nothing overly detailed. I’d rather have a chance to be thinking straight out. Hmm, maybe that’s the purpose one has in going to work? Hehe, ok you ... out the door with you! Hope your day is advantageous in more ways than you can count! :)

Flight of the Sparrows

Mornin. Everyone all good? We were in bed a little late last night. I am so clumsy with remembering to take the medicine on time. We’re going to have to go back to the rule that it is done immediately as we come in the door. *Sigh*

We had a full day yesterday, but we’re not getting done with as much as we would like. I think this happens often when we get in late from our Dr. M. appointment. But, I LOVE my appointment with him first thing Monday morning, so I won’t complain.

The time continues to be going well under the helm of Sister Janice. Really the major things that are being accomplished by the Sisters is just to be a presence. There are just a few tasks they are directly responsible for. Sister Flo does the special service in the morning and Sister Janice helps with the lunches. Other than that ... and locking/unlocking doors, if I were honest, I’d say they resemble a couple of simply happy people "playin" in Sr's office :).

Yesterday, we had another talk as far as what is to happen when Sr. is gone. Mostly, I try to stay out of it, but I was a little nervous after hearing Sister Flo’s plans for her service and her decision to feed the clients each her homemade bread.  This is against a specific rule that Sister Tess has established. I needed to ask, "Umm, you are going to do all this before Sister gets back, right?" She really had a lovely plan ... just pretty sure Sister wouldn’t like it at all. Sister Flo correctly defended her position ... She basically said that since she was in charge and Sister gone, there was no reason not to do it the way she sees best. Shoot ... I for one, sure am not going to complain. Just have to deal with my own intimidation set in place by Sr. Tess. I also saw that they’d invited guests at the end of the night and were entertaining in the staff room. Thought ... just close your eyes, walk away.

Otherwise, it was a pretty busy time. We slowly turned the next page on our CARF project, but it seemed we were being called out a little more often than usual to be taking care of client problems. One of the individuals was having a particularly bad day and it seemed to have affected some of his peers. I worried about the DSP in that ... she just wanted me to take the individual out of the room, so he quit interrupting her session. On the surface that sounds fine, but with this kind of action ... she doesn’t learn how to take care of the "interruption," and she doesn’t realize the "interruption" IS the lesson sheshould be on. It’s not really about the task in front of her, but in taking care of the group member’s needs, which this individual definitely has. It’s a bad philosophy to just ignore the problems or schluff them off to someone else.

Again and again, we repeat. Most problem behaviors seem to come from the need for attention or an avoidance of something that is difficult or unpleasant. I think in this particular room there are an abundance of boundary issues that complicate the situation. People seem to be allowed to gripe and bully each other. There is a lot of anger and frustration being exchanged. Thing is ... I’m not in the room every day, so this is only a theory that has to be checked out. I believe the correct thing to do is going to be reestablishing boundaries, reasserting the DSP’s power and ability to maintain order, and deciphering where all this anger and frustration is coming from.

I did take the apparent instigator out yesterday. The first thing we did was establish our own boundaries with him. He’s a big guy and when I came into the room, he attempted to reach out and grab both of my arms. That was like a BIG no-no. I reasserted my space in holding him an arms distance away while saying, not to be touching people. I would have wished to say something more positive and affirming.  He was like way out of control. The next thing was for him to reestablish his own ability to control. So, we went outside the room and I had him doing the exercise where he was able to stop and start by cue while walking the length of the main hall.

He only went 6 lengths before he had broken into a sweat and he needed four stops for water and two to the bathroom to blow his nose. I stopped the timer when he took the longer break, so all in all the timer read about 10 minutes. We'll leave a reminder to check with his father in regard to diabetes testing.  He was following along with only 66% accuracy. His two most common problems were in wanting to stop before he was asked and wanting to start after turning around before the cue had been given. He did better with no talking during the exercise, but we give him about a minute and a half between each round to ask questions or make assertions. He has a great amount of difficulty with pressured speech.

We would start the conversational part by asking him, "How are you doing?" or "How do you feel?" He did ok for the remainder of the time between12:30 and 2:00, but then he was to join the rest of the clients in the multi-purposeroomand that was too many people. He had to be asked to leave the room. In these cases there is four seats in the hall, two immediately outside the glass windows to the Administrator’s office. I think that the secretary might have said something to him, because when she returned to her office, right next door to the Administrator’s, the individual thought she was calling his father. He gets very scared because he doesn’t want to upset his Dad.

Apparently, he went in the office and tried to wrestle away the phone from the secretary. Another Big no-no. Again, he was displaying boundary problems. This time, we chose to sit down with him and find out a little more clearly why the problem, or at least what was on his mind. Usually, the desperate need to talk quickly stems from having too much sugar in his system, but we couldn’t clarify when or how this occurred. We focused him on two tasks ... first, he had to wait in between each of his comments and questions for us to respond. The second thing was to slow down his words.

Given those two rules, he could say anything that he needed to, but instead of answering the questions directly, we returned his questions with the question, "What do you think?" Very surprisingly, he was able to respond with very good answers. His rapid speed in processing his thoughts was actually quite amazing. I was also impressed with the number and variety of thoughts he was having. It used to be that we’d go over the same questions/statements over and over again.

I think his mind is like a big puzzle with all kinds of locks and dams. When the thoughts/water build up too much (extra sugar/rain) they flood out into the community. Boundaries (locks and dams) need to be reestablished. And he needs to conclude or check the levels in each lock. This seems to occur after he gets past surface thoughts to be processing deeper thoughts that carry more validity and truly concern him. Could be simply a matter of validation. In reality he actually has thoughts that are fairly profound.

One of the other clients I talked to was the last one to leave for the day. As I had walked past him, he had walked into the Administrator’s office and appeared to be intimidating the Sister’s in his gestures and confused speech. This one we nickname the Gentle giant, but he was clearly riled up. Normally, the clients don’t enter Sr. Tess’ office without her invitation. So, we called him out and asked if we could sit down and talk with him.

He had builtup quite a bit of anger in regard to the other client. He couldn’t understand why he was acting so bad and he had problems with one of the troublesome female clientsin his room. Apparently, he didn’t think the staff had done right in fixingthe problems. This client is commonly thought to be lower functioning, because a lot of his world is abstract, but in this situation, he had read the room very efficiently and with heart AND, he’d gone a step further in figuring out how things should be. Was really quite proud of him and the ability to think coherently.

We asked him in the end if we could check out the things he was talking about the next day. He seemed very pleased that we might. So, that is the big agenda today. I think we need to do something concrete. Not sure what yet. This was the third group whose staff had brought up in the training that she was having trouble with behaviors in her room. You want to be able to help without overstepping boundaries.

I’m not sure but, we’re thinking we can step in without taking over control, but I think in the near future, she might need to see a direct addressing of boundary issues in the room. It would be done by paying very close attention to the words used by each of the members. The attention would have to be shifted back to staff rather than poking and jibing each other. Think this is possible :) Have to remember her group has the attention span of a sparrow!

Yikes! Needs to be going ... Have a good one!!

Morning "Briefing"

Mornin.  How’s everyone?  We’re doing pretty good.  Just wishin we wouldn’t worry and fret so.  We went to bed late ... had forgotten to take the evening medicine ‘til right before we went to sleep.  One of them is for anxiety.  I apologize to all of you who are so patient as to hear all of our ups and downs in moods.  Maybe like a rollercoaster?  Shoot.

We are looking very forward to seeing Dr. M.  I think the word is, “dissonance.”  I don’t think we tolerate it very well when our minds are running contrary to one another.

“Cognitive dissonance is a psychological phenomenon which refers to the discomfort felt at a discrepancy between what you already know or believe, and new information or interpretation. It therefore occurs when there is a need to accommodate new ideas, and it may be necessary for it to develop so that we become “open” to them.”

http://www.dmu.ac.uk/~jamesa/learning/dissonance.htm

Hehe - Yep, yep ... there is your Psychology 101 lesson for the day.  Sometimes we can be so silly! 

Hmm, we’re not progressing very quickly here.  Little bogged down.  One of the farthest away things in our mind is to be returning to work this morning.  I suppose that is going to be a must.  Eh, not there yet.  Skip next topic.

Hmm, its going to be a wet week this week, but about my favorite kind of weather, because it’ll stay in the 70's!  Woo-hoo!!  Whoops ... just about forgot ... our friend is up in Canada fishing this whole week.  Well, we can hope he doesn’t have the same kind of weather, right?  Though, I understand rain is good for the fishes.  Well, that is if they don’t mind being caught!  Nada chance?  Hmm, I wonder if fishes have like tales they tell each other about “the hook?”  Ya never know.

Yes folks, this is the way my mind thinks ... Kind of sad, hmm?

Hmm, there’s James with the weather report ... sorry sweetie ... already beat you to it!  But, you are lookin good!

I think what we got going here is a certain vacancy of mind.  Hehe - that James, he’s such a sweet talker.  He says, “I could just sit here and watch you all day!” 

I think this is why people see their psychiatrist.  It’s like our mind gets all filled up and refuses to go any farther.  Isure hope its one of those days where we get to talk about the good stuff.  I think we’re ok with the Casies.  We did have a small candy bar yesterday.  Only one all week!  We’re still over on the eating out part though.  Somehow we forgot that we should order groceries. *Sigh* No apple today?  Drat!

Hmm, we have a little time now ... maybe we should check that out...

“Ya-hoo!”  13 minutes flat!

Free Gift From Peapod
Coke C2 (Sample)  1 EA   1 .00  .00
Produce Stand
Apples Golden Delicious Large  1 EA   7 .99  6.93
Apples Red Delicious Large  1 EA   7 .69  4.83
Apricots  1 EA   7 .59  4.13
Carrot Chips Bolthouse Farms  16 OZ BAG   3 1.99  5.97
Celery Sticks Cut  8 OZ PKG   3 1.99  5.97
Grapefruit Del Monte Fruit Naturals Cup  8 OZ CUP   7 1.99  13.93
Pineapple Del Monte Fruit Naturals Cup  8 OZ CUP   7 1.99  13.93
Plums Black  1 EA   8 .79  6.32
Salad Dole Special Blends American Dole  12 OZ BAG   2 2.50  5.00
Tomatoes Cherry  1 PINT   1 2.99  2.99
Dairy
Colombo Light Yogurt Fat Free Cherry Vanilla  8 OZ CUP   7 .85  5.95
Colombo Light Yogurt Fat Free Red Raspberry  8 OZ CUP   7 .85  5.95
Dean's Cottage Cheese 1% Low Fat Small Curd  16 OZ TUB   2 1.50  3.00
Dean's Sour Cream Fat Free  16 OZ TUB   2 1.99  3.98
Bread & Bakeshop
La Tortilla Factory Tortillas Green Onion Low Carb - 10 ct  13 OZ BAG   3 3.29  9.87
Paramount Fat Free Greek Style Pita Bread Whole Wheat 5 Count  16 OZ PKG   1 1.89  1.89
Breakfast Foods
Quaker 100% Natural Oats Honey Raisin  28 OZ BOX   2 4.99  9.98
Snacks, Cookies & Candy
Chi-Chi's Fiesta Salsa Thick & Chunky Medium  24 OZ BTL   2 4.19  8.38
Grains, Pasta & Side Dishes
Hodgson Mill Whole Wheat Spaghetti  16 OZ BOX   2 2.29  4.58
Pritikin Fat Free Tomato Basil Pasta Sauce  26 OZ JAR   1 3.49  3.49
Soups & Canned Goods
Old El Paso Fat Free Refried Beans Spicy  16 OZ CAN   3 1.39  4.17
Oil, Vinegar & Salad Dressing
Walden Farms Salad Dressing Honey Dijon Calorie Free Sugar Free Carb Free  12 OZ BTL   1 3.69  3.69
Walden Farms Salad Dressing Thousand Island Calorie Free Sugar Free  12 OZ BTL   1 3.69  3.69

  
Subtotal:  $138.62 
Tax:  $1.73 
Delivery Fee:  $4.95 
Total:  $145.30 
 
Est. Total Savings: $4.26 

Whadda deal!  Feelin GOOD!!  Food Delivery tomorrow between 6 and 8 pm!!!  That'll last 2-3 weeks :) Whoops, be that time ... Everyone have the nicest of days!!!!!

The goofy part of Et al management ... Like who left the keys in the car :)

Sarah (Corey slept in this mornin!)

Long Figurin Weekend

Dear Dr. M.,  

We'll need to go over things again ...Maybe tomorrow morning you could help us sort it out?  Macadam and friend want me to go with a cheaper price for furniture and such, but this is what I'm seeing.   

"X" Money's available within 10 days (in account now)   minus "X" Other purchases (medical bills, car (air conditioner/heater, mabey shocks), Macadam's kitchen, and books).   Minus July rent minus Couches and two floor lamps (Room & Board ... 1 left 62", 1 corner, 1 armless 63", and 1 chaise).   Minus Drapes, ties, and curtain rod.  Minus 6 bookshelves.   Equal Subtotle plus Deposit from July 1 work check equal "Z" dollars to pay July's bills (not including money toward medical bills outstanding paid out of above bill money ... by the way, we need to talk ... The hospital may be charging us the full cost of our sessions with you.  I'm not sure...  

Can we do this, or am I forgetting something.   Friend and Macadam would rather see me spend get the lesser couch we saw for about about 60% of the cost of the one I really like and maybe not get the bookshelves.  They're only finished in Oak, but wouldn't they look pretty 3 on each side of the new room? (I am presently using 80 feet (2 sections) of bookshelve space with unpainted particle boards and cinder blocks - college theme).  The old expandable desk separating living room and computer would be gone to spare bedroom - Macadam's in there now ... tossed, and the TV would move under the air conditioner just space now (it's on top of the treadle sewing machine), and Oak roll top desk from Estate would sit on wall next to sliding doors.  Recliner from father would be in front of doors that would be secured by new drapes with Light block backing (big 3 foot open gap in coverage now).  Then of course there is the addition of the nice fancy kitchen table (but smaller) would replace this one in front of the computer side book shelves.  Wicker shelve unit might be redesignated to kitchen or bedroom.  I don't know ... spent a lot of time on this over last 3 days.  It's really time for your input.  Help?!   See you bright and early.   Thanks!   Us

Bush W3115- Lyons Oak Finish - Hallmark Collection- Oak Five-Shelf Bookcase

Hehe - Any other suggestions from the Reader's Gallery?  This is big deal stuff!  Yeeks, way past bedtime. 

Feeling Better, Thank you

Hmm, now we’re in a different place that turns out to be ok :). Last night, we talked to our resident good friend Tammy in Ims for quite the while ... I think having very good friends is sometimes better than most things imaginable. We appreciate the support all of you have given. Vince, you lead all definitions when it comes to defining friendship.  Your simply stated wise words usually tend to calm me ... I think we’re of mind to find out a little more of what being in a state of grace is all about. We’ve never used that term.  Thanks Hugh just love new insights!

Maria, we had the boys going through therapy through the last year of obtaining the divorce and the following year or two. The boys first went in together just the three of them, then later into their own therapy sessions. The time was used to help them understand what was happening and to assist them in sorting out their thoughts and feelings. I’m not thinking they understood much of the multiplicity at that time. When they started the age ranges were like 10 through 14. Tanner didn’t get along so well with his therapist because he was so angry, so that seemed to spoil the situation. Jacob liked his therapist. Macadam continued the longest. He had felt depression and he thought his therapist to be more supportive of his needs.

I think that Macadam and Jacob would return if they thought there were a real need. But, each of them is doing surprisingly well. I think Jacob is beholden to Tanner’s thoughts and beliefs though. Tanner is supporting Jacob through college and in giving him a place to stay during the summers. Tanner is very stubborn and set in his beliefs. He handles his anger through his controlled environment both at work and home. Some of you most likely know already that Tanner had made himself into a millionaire last year. He has all those stresses and pressures to sort out. This year he isn’t doing nearly as well, but has taken on the position of supporting not only Jacob, but four of his and Jacob’s friends. Sort of like a commune :). He’ll be ok, his heart is actually made of gold. They all do a lot of playing during their free time, so although we are blocked out, they are having quite a time.

I think you are right Bill that this kind of thing happens more often than not. The hugs have been so heartfelt. I will wait to talk to Dr. M. tomorrow about some of the guilt I am feeling particularly in the case of the inheritance money. It doesn’t help that today is father’s day. I think part of the desire to spend the money quickly is that I’ve had a hard time processing the death of both my father and Sandy. They went together so quickly. My father died a very angry man. It had been that way growing up with him. I think he did his best to break poor Sandy’s heart before he left. Keeps going back to the statement he last made to me. He was angry and told me that he was the father and being so, he expected himself to be the one who would think things through, not me. He said, "that is your problem, you think too much. I’m the father and will do the thinking." Of course, I long since learned differently ... I can actually think too.

I’m sure Dr. M. has taken up also the position of so many of you ... Do what makes me feel good. Money doesn’t always bring happiness as Viv said, and best to make the best situation over not. Crying is not necessarily a bad thing as Sandy has noted.

It was tremendously helpful to talk to Tammy last night. She also had a parent who had died and left an inheritance. I respect how she had ordered her thoughts revolving around the money. I think she is hoping that we spend the money freely as we would wish. That would put her on the Dr. M. side and where our heart rests most comfortably. I want to fly freely as a bird past my wounded feelings.

I don’t want to schluff off Macadam’s and our friend’s best interest for us. And, although it is a large sum for me, in the "real" world, it’s less than what would be considered having made our fortune. Once we knew it wouldn’t be enough to buy a car ... all other major considerations flew straight past us. Funny, in the sense that Scalzi wanted people to be thinking of having inherited millions and what we’d do with it. We have this amount and its turning us inside out.

We really like nothing better than to spend money when it is available. I don’tthink we could be considered wasteful, but I don’t really want either to be stuck thinking only about the couch that we got a good deal at Sam’s Club for the next 6 ½ years. Shoot, I really feel terrible saying this, because Mcadam is trying so hard to be reasonable. This one could break hearts! I’m feeling a tinge of a snoot. I want to say, we got the best that our money could afford!

Not too long after Tammy and us talked, Macadam called us back and we spent a couple of hours talking between he and his wife, Lee. During the process, she listened to "our side of the story." She was pretty understanding and it flowed better between woman to woman. In the process, they had convinced me to look at a few on-line sites. I think 7 or 8. Apparently, Lee knows all about this kind of shopping. She knew where to direct us.

That turned out in our advantage, the only store that seemed to offer our kind of a certain amount of quality at a better price was, "Homemakers." So it was decided they would come by today (sparkle - with my granddaughter), and we would go to just the Homemakers store and the one that Dr. M. had suggested, "Room and Board." They will try to be considerate of our distaste for shopping and our inability to stand/walk for lengths of time.

I was quite satisfied with my first selection, but will want to assure ourselves we have fallen in love with the right couch. If I look closely at more than a half dozen couches though I might be very frustrated. I really am more of an impulse shopper and that has rarely led me astray. If anyone would like to look ... this is the couch we’re favoring at the moment. ‘Cept, you have to hit the color link, we like the one in sage. :)

Room & Board Couch

With Tears

Good early evening! Hehe - took us a while to get here! Thanks Vince for stoppin in and checking on the ‘ol girl :). Shoot, better take off our lunch bib, it’s already 4:30 as I start.

I want first to introduce a new writer that we came upon while over visiting Nadine this morning. Her name is Rose and she has a life story worth reading. She’s been down on her luck, but is always optimistic. She’s about our age I figure in that her daughter has a child about our grandchildrens’ ages. She also has someone in her immediate life who is called, Turtle. We’re fairly sure he’s not the variety which eats bugs and such. One of the things that is really cool about Rose is that through all her hardships, she’s never lost her desire to be independent! She’s half a mind to start up her own business from ground up! Whether she goes for this option or not ... think she’s one heck of a lady! Stop by and meet her!! Caution here ... since we only have on a good day 2 to 3 regular visitors ... this means all of you should wonder over and welcome her to the neighborhood!! *Most winning smile!*

Vince ... you called the game correctly, in that we’ve been resting and relaxing today! We went back to bed continuously until it was about 9:30 ... apparently this is still in the morning!

Somewhere in our consciousness, we had thought that we ought to be reading, but truth be told ... after a long week not spending so much time with the journals, I am aching to see how everyone is doing. It’s taken us until now to catch up! Been a busy week for most folk ... and a lot of new changes for some. Most of them the variety that could be viewed as challenging. I don’t want to be called on this one though ... I remember nearly being of time for my first labor with still thoughts in mind as told, that it would be "slightly discomfortable!" Yeah right ...

Ok, ok ... life out there is tough! Seems like people have to wait and wait for changes while others hope that time doesn’t catch up with them ... maybe because the change is incomprehendable. Whoops, two big words that haven’t made it past spell check. We’re pretty sure you are getting the drift here. It’s justthat ... people continue to go on planning and planning and inevitably stuff starts to happen that wasn’t in the original plan. But, really that’s the real story! Like you knew you wanted a zillion kids, or flowers, gratitude, puppies, mula or such ... Should it be a surprise that some days that situation refuses to make sense?

It’s kind of goofy ... like with our Sr. Tess. One would think we could build up an emotional arsenal to protect us from her irrationalities. But, nope ... this week we’ve just sat around hoping against the odds that she’ll have a very, very long vacation. This is a terrible thought! In reality, I know she’ll be back before another week and chances are I’ll be just as unprepared.

We’re going to try real hard not to complain about her anger. All the more so, in that, the first morning that she was to be gone, I went into my office and right in the middle of my desk was an envelope from Sr. Tess. I was almost scarred to open it. But, we did. There was a beautiful fancy card and on it with writing. She said that we were her best employee and she wanted us to know we WERE appreciated. She said, she didn’t feel comfortable taking us out to dinner, but she slipped in a check for $1,000.

I feel a ton of guilt for this. I hadn’t asked for money. I just wanted to make her happy and good in her eyes. I had a hard time knowing I hadn’t. This to me was unforgivable. I was a bad person. I had felt invisible to her as if I didn’t matter, or that my work didn’t matter. I think this is a form of feeling sorry for myself. I’m not all that I mean to be and that I really can’t make a difference in the eyes of someone I love. Maybe this is an unfair thing to have put upon Sr. Tess. Because now while I’m thinking of it. Thought comes to mind that this had been my relationship with my mother. She never got to know me through her anger either. Just Sr. Tess is my boss. My feelings and thoughts are inappropriate for the relationship.

That’s all on that one ... but, then yesterday something else happened. The check came through the estate of my father and stepmother. I’ve been really looking forward to the check and the first thing we did was run it over to the bank to deposit it with the other. But again we’re assaulted with all kinds of guilt feelings. It feels like I cannot rid myself of the money fast enough. I was angry to hear that it would take at least 10 days to clear. Still am going through it.

I’ve got it all spent out ... the gift to Macadam, the books, the bills,the car, and of the last two days a real couch and drapes. My first. And, then like poof! It’s all gone. Nothing set aside for emergency. Someone is running around inside me screaming, "I don’t care! I just want what I want!" Our friend had taken us out to dinner on Friday and had dared hint that I might wait a week for him to shop with us for a sectional or window treatments that weren’t so costly. But, that only made us angrier. I want the finest and the best! Seems we wanted to make our choices before even Macadam pushed us to be more reasonable. It is the once in a lifetime to be ahead of the game, but we’re turning over the money for Door # 3. Always wanted Door #3. Don’t know why. It seems horribly materialistic. We feel like a consuming monster, necessarily out of control!

I’m afraid this is in our mind, "Blood money." And, this "Thing" is being passed on to all three sons. My father and Sandy split it evenly 12 ways to cover all their family members, so the three sons are also benefitted. Hmm, I just called my "stranger sons ... the 20 and 22 year olds." I got on the phone for 53 seconds my middle son whom I have not talked to since October last year. I thanked him for picking up. He said that he was in the middle of things and had to go. And, yes he got the check. I asked Jacob too? Is there any concerns? Yes, Jacob had gotten his and neither of them have any trouble with it. He doesn’t usually return calls. He doesn’t appear to want me in his life, although nothing has been said, what I’ve done wrong. The youngest son stays with the middle and shares in most of the abandon.

I don’t know just feeling kind of bad right now. I thought the money would make everyone feel happy. Just seems to be making us sadder and sadder. Maybe, we can write better later. I’m sorry.  We're pretty confused.  I'll never get over these fast switches.  I'm sorry

Busted ... My oldest son called to check on me in general. It’s terrible to cry in front of your kids. Then they might get worried. He is fairly close to his brothers and works with the middle one, but he says Tanner is going to be Tanner. It still hurts. I think it also puts too much pressure on Macadam, because then he’s the in-between person. I’m sorry ... think we’re having feelings of rejection.

Macadam is the same as our friend ... they each want me to get less expensive couches and drapes in a week or two, so we have money left over. Macadam suggested that if I wanted to have custom made drapes his wife could do it. And, he says he can take me shopping. I HATE shopping. I like ordering things over the Internet. I like to get the first good thing I like and I don’t want to mess with it any further. I told Macadam that I don’t want another rejection. I’d asked his wife once before for help and she didn’t think it were possible. This kind of things throws out of kilter relationships. But, again the relationship is out of kilter already due to the multiplicity. I’m not trusted to take care of my Granddaughter, or see my Grandson by myself because of it.

Oh dear ... this is turning out to be a terrible entry. We had wrote to Dr. M. about the furniture on Friday. He said he liked the sofa and the color and that most people spent "up front" for something they really liked and would be of quality so they could have it for a long time. He was the one to have told us about the site. So confused..

 

A Quicke

Yeeks!  Way behind this morning.  Another morning of waking too early and falling back to sleep.  *Sigh*  We're ok ... just short of time.  Still tired.  Maybe some more coffee. 

We're already at work now.  We will go up to watch the front in a few minutes ... just until the secretary gets here.  Need to keep the Sister's on their church schedule :)

Just wanted to let you know we haven't forgotten of you.  Well, let's see how the day turns out shall we?  Keeping you in mind.

Us!

 

 

Moving Along Here...

Mornin ... Mornin ... Figure we better start the day FIRST with an entry ... seems we’ve been askew the last couple of days. We’re ok, just seems that we’re burning the candle from both ends and falling behind in the middle. Each of the last couple of days, we’ve been up, but then have gotten tired and fallen back to sleep until there is no time left ... including to drink our morning coffee which perpetuates a bad cycle of events. Certainly a routine, we don’t want to foster!

I think the majors have been at work. Sorta, Monday was off *Giggle* - NO work then! Tuesday’s projects were primarily to work on staff training, then the book collection. Wednesday, we worked on the Performance Analysis, the staff meeting, and the follow up to the staff training. Seems this staff training is going to be pretty preoccupying.

Ahh, that’s better ... we’ve finished eating our cereal and reached for the coffee. We’ve been having lately the Quaker 100% Natural Granola with oats, honey and raisons. Just LOVE this cereal! We’re doing pretty good with measuring too. We’re under the allowance of one cup. Think we’re coming up soon to a need to order more groceries. It’s kind of intimidating to us to figure out, we have to do this every couple of weeks. *Sigh* I think we’ve stretched it now to past 3 weeks. Maybe on tomorrow? Yeeks, only two days supplies left! Better get on that...

Ahem ... I saw that note diet buddy ... you know the one, "couple of beers I like to have in the evening and the "not" eating..." Seems adjustments have to be made? :) Maybe we should arrange some time over the weekend to check over with each other "the plans..." :) :) Double smile just in case that sounds a little scary! Hehe

Ok, ok ... where are we at? Oh yeah ... we’re working on a sneaky project too ... that took a little tiny bit of time yesterday ... but, it’s sneaky so we can’t talk about it. We’re still not done with it though :)

Maybe we should work this through a little. Hmm, first one is the book collection. We’ve been in touch with Macadam who has been handling the estate affairs of my father and Sandy. It’s been over a year now and the closing of those priorities will be a blessing. Pretty much when we think of all that, we try to focus on the book collection. The money should be here today or tomorrow. It is a perpetuation of them. When I think of my father and Sandy not being here ... I feel a sadness and a sense of concern like, "Is it going to be ok?" and, "How can they be gone?"

Taking care of what happens with their gifts left us seems like a proactive thing we can be doing in their absence. I have a sense of wanting that all to progress. We’ve been trying not to get upset with our brother for not releasing furniture and dishes that were supposed to come. Mcadam had been working on an arrangement to pick up the weekend after next, but now my sister-in-laws saying, "Maybe the end of July."

The two main items are just their kitchen table and chairs which I will use for my new computer table, and the recliner I’ll use to read. My mind has long since integrated these items with Dad and Sandy’s care of me. Mcadam and Lee will receive his Great Grandmother’s wedding china. I have the feeling of passing down something that is important. I want them to have it very much. There’s also a small roll top desk. I’m torn whether to keep it here in the living room and move the expandable desk to the spare bedroom, or put the roll top in the spare bedroom. We’ll have to see.

None of the things I own is of financial value. Many of the items are as old as my early marriage and at that had been picked up second hand. It seems to fit my life style. We’re going through discussions with our friend. He points to the flaws in some of my furniture such as the sagging couches, or table where the veneer is chipped off or the legs have long since been reverted to a scratching post for the kitties. He says, "These things should be replaced." It’s hard for us to let go of the sentiments attached.

Cant imagine it will be any different with Dad’s and Sandy’s pieces, like our holding my Great Grandmothers’ tea cart and treadle sewing machine. They’ve been through about 20 moves with us. Seems never a reason to replace the space they hold in room or heart. We’re just kinda like this. Maybe a little tattered. Thinking of a children’s book we keep on top of our hutch at work. In bright shiny red letters it says, "Raggedy Ann." This is pretty much us!

We’d been talking about the books. I know we’ve talked about them before ... it’s just that we’re now within days of being able to order them. We spent time Tuesday placing the majority of them in our wish list at Amazon. The only thing remaining is to push the buttons that say, "purchase now." We’ll still need a few things over at the AAMR site. But, that will happen just as quickly.

My first instinct 27 years ago after entering college was not to become a psychology clinician as much as to become a researcher. Just can’t tell you how excited we are to be getting our own collection. Sister has decided it should go that way ... stay in our own hands instead of donated directly to the center. She is going to let us keep the books in our office and we will still be able to lend to whomever might want to read. But, we won’t press that issue.

Last night after the others had left, we stayed at work until 7:30 pm. We would have wished to have the books there and then. There should be solutions in the book that we haven’t yet fathomed. As it were we had asked the staff for one of their test questions, "What are you having the most problem with?" There wasn’t much time to do anything except make a small list, because Sr. came to the meeting and preoccupied the first 20 minutes. I know, I know ... be patient ... there are many kettles on the stove...

It seems that each of them is focused on just a particular areas. One of the DSPs was on vacation, but the DSP of Group 3 stated that her problem was the behaviors, the DSP of Group 3 stated that her problem was in communication, the DSP of Group 4 stated her problem was having the individuals move physically, and the job coach said, she was having problems with the individuals listening.

We figured that we were going to need to go around sneakily behind their backs with teaching our "Objectives" lessons, because there never seems enough time to do it directly. We figured we’d do this by giving them direct lessons using the materials. We were able to think of some kind of change for most of the problems with the exception to group 2. She wasn’t ready to admit she had problems that were out of her control. As soon as she said this, one of the other DSPs jumped in to list out a few problems in the group, but for my purposes ... I need the staff to realize first ... they do have problems that are affecting their groups, and there is help.

It’s kind of funny in that I could realize from the way the individuals acted or through the Qnotes that there might be problems, but it isn’t the same as the DSP admitting the same thing. But, last night ... hehe after the initial shock wore off that we’d stepped into what might seem like a quagmire of quicksand, that we actually could think through steps to progress each of the situations. We spent the remainder of the night working through the issues of the first DSP. We picked out aseries of lessons for the DSP of group 4.

We thought of using a manipulative that usually just sits in her closet. It is a board with 3 different sets of brightly colored metal loops (large/few, medium and small/many). On these loops there are from 5 to 10 large beads. We decided that this board would work for all her clients. Their task or "work" would be to move the beads over one loop. Hehe - no easy feat! The first thing she has to do is capture their attention and get them to move out of their seats - to the board. Then it will be hand-over-hand to move a bead. We’re not talking of all five over multiple loops. We’re just talking one bead over one loop. The individuals are going to be pretty "put-out" by this effort! They all tend to their favorite chair or manipulative and rarely go far past that.

We broke the task down to 5 separate scenes, but each follows Bloom’s taxonomy of knowledge, comprehension, application, analysis, synthesis, and conclusion. It was very much like writing a play that the DSP will soon be directing. The clients are the actors and actresses. Every move is choreographed. Such as the individual will follow the DSPs finger directing her eyes to the bead or the individual will trace the loop with her finger. At first this might mean holding the individual’s wrist - palm and physically moving it over the loop. Or that after a certain action takes place the DSP gives the individual a big smile while saying, "Good job!!"

We are confident that each objective will support the next. We’ll have to slow the process way down though. Those 5 scenes might take 6 months or more to accomplish. I think it is a tendency for this DSP to figure out ... since it took all that effort to get the individual over to the beads she will have to repeat the pushing beads until all of them get to one side of the board or another. But, in our eyes, the pushing of one bead is plenty sufficient, and in fact before this ever occurs with the client, the DSP will model the experience herself for weeks before she asks the clients to more actively participate other than watching. It’ll take them a while to get comfortable with the task.

Hehe - we gotta start somewhere!

Last night, we felt like a scientist in our establishing of the task. If anyone would have walked into the office to see us moving those beads, they might of thought us off the deep end. It took a while to establish "the game" of it. After we started, it was like being on a high. We figured also that this task could be used for one of the other groups. We have in mind the group that is being job coached out in the community. We have five individuals working at grocery stores. One in a department store placing clothes on hangers and one assisting in a kindergarten room.

Basically, we have another beaded board that is like giant in comparison to the board we’ve set up to use in Group 4. I’m sure many of you’ve seen these boards before ... the big one is like a jungle of brightly colored loops extending two feet above the board. Often their seen in waiting offices where small children might congregate. Each loop twists and turns with wooden beads on its track. We figure that if the job coach is having trouble getting her people to listen, then they are going to be trained how to listen to the directions of pushing these beads from one side of the board to another.

We know the clients each have their own difficulties in comprehension, speeds that are too fast or too slow, or that they get distracted. So, as these problems come up ... adjustments will be made. Although our job coach isn’t real confident, we’re hoping this will be something she is able to do. After gaining their trust ... she’ll be better able to give directives at the job site itself. We’re hoping.

With Group 3 ... we need to set up separate tasks. We’ll go into them more later, but primarily they will be adapting the environment to particular behaviors. Such as when one of the members start distracting others a verbal warning will be given, then the individual’s attention will be gestured over to an envelope, last physically a move will be made over to the envelope to drop in the note which will go home at the end of the week. If the individual has controlled his behavior ... a note describing his better behaviors will be placed in the envelope. With another individual when given to distracting the group, the staff will move over to the individual and respond directly to each interruption. They usually come bundled many to a set. After the individual is able to again self control, the staff can then move away.

Hehe - I think we’ve distracted ourselves in regard to the books again :) It’s just that I dream of a world, where I will be able to turn to references for ideas that have been tested. I want to become a resource for the staff so that as problems come up, we can direct them to the proper piece of knowledge that they are missing. When we went over the book list on Tuesday, we had figured out instead of getting the dozen Spanish books, we will get instead a set of higher priced psychological books. We are ... underline are going to figure out behaviors! Because if we can’t get a grasp of these, we are never going to get through other more formal lessons.

We had also accomplished something on the Performance Analysis report. Man ... is this a slow process ... just to find the time to work on it has been a problem. We advanced it though yesterday to having one of the two objectives met as far as effectiveness ... we got bogged down in the efficiency part though. Today we’ll go back and make some quick decisions and push forward. This part of the report is actually 3 fold. We have two measures to show effectiveness, one measure for efficiency, and three measures for satisfaction. Sure hope the format is good, because all this thinking is pushing us to our limits! Hehe.

Today, will be an interesting day in that for one, Sr. will have left for the airport by the time we arrive at work. FOR A WHOLE WEEK!! Yippee! Think it’s the first time in 3 years, she’s taken a vacation :) In her place, Sister Janice will hold the reins. She is the Administrator for the North Chicago facility which is much bigger. I don’t know why, but I like this Sister. She is very quiet and unassuming, but very tactfully efficient. She’s like a stealth nun :) *Giggle* We’ve been trying to "train" her to say, "Good morning," and "Good night" to us. Please God don’t smite me dead! That’s all we really want from her. Just a simple acknowledgment that we exist. Maybe we can get to the point that we’ll concede to her quieter ways of just moving past her path. We ARE really looking forward to the week, plus with gaining no new tasks from Sr. Tess, maybe we can finish something up and surprise her. :) Very happy!

The Sweet Aisle

First thing I want to do is to thank Vince and Tammy very, very much for being such good friends as to visit and go through things as often as they do with us through the writing. You guys are soooo, soooo neat!!  Just love you to pieces!  :)

We’ve had a very good day. It is now about 6:30 pm and I know my practice is to usually write in the morning, rather than the young evening, but today we had off and pretty much filled it up until now. We weren’t ready to write at our normal time and couldn’t better what we’d written the day before ... and mercy, we do write long entries!

Anyway, I met with Dr. M. At 8 am this morning. After that, we sat in the car and the rain and wrote and wrote. Anniemi was out with Dr. M. the whole time and we spent most of their time in and around the incident yesterday with the candy bars. After that we stopped and picked up Chinese to treat our friend, then he left and we took a 3 hour nap and now is now!

What I’m going to do next is to type out what had been written in the car. Just very, very cool stuff!

"Today at Dr. M.s, Anniemi was out. We think. Her knowledge and wisdom was more like Jesse’s so it was confusing. We thought she’d been much younger. She had a whispery, raspy voice and sometimes had trouble collecting her thoughts to words. She appeared to know everything in general that is known to our adult parts, plus had more ability than some on a theoretical level. And, she had memory of childhood events that not all of us have. We believe she has an easier time capturing thoughts of the two Casies and Annemarie (Dear Heart).

She was also able to stand closer to Dr. M. in that she asked to and was weighed. 4.2 pounds difference in 10 days! Yahoo!!

Fairly early on, she asked Dr. M. To read the journal, which he did. The main conversation, after establishing that we had read a few journals over the weekend was in regard to the events surrounding the need to go to the store. This took quite a bit of time collecting information in both present and past tense. There was a two part conclusion. The first was that Annemarie does have something she values, maybe more than Death. She valued getting that candy bar. Secondly, she might be associating getting the candy bar out of love and independence.

This is a revelation to us!

Most of this understanding came through parts of the systems experience from Anniemi’s memory.Anniemi was recalling going to the families little store in back of the houses across the street when we were growing up. Anniemi has been here since about 5 years old. There was an open field after having cut through the neighbors back yards. And, on the corner was the little store. It could be reached without crossing any major streets. Any spare change was used to by candy or ice cream. We could do this on our own.

The next memory was in going to our father’s gas station at these very young ages. To keep us occupied, our father gave us the job of folding cloth rags that were at that time used for washing windows and checking oil. The window rags were a manilla white and the oil rags were brownish orange. If we folded all 3-4 bundles (so the gas filling attendants could grab one quickly). The you could earn a quarter which could be traded for candy, or in later years 3 for a quarter comic books. There was a store for this, right across a non-busy street. We are also remembering now getting the newspaper and circling letters and words we knew.  We could do all this on our own.

The third memory was about when we were twelve years old (Kelsie’s time). My father had gotten a bigger gas station with one of the first little food stores attached. Gas was still being pumped by an attendant. Would have been about 1971? Seems right. At this time, our father had the family taking turns working down at the gas station. My brother and I split six nights - 3 days a piece each week and my mother and younger sister would work down there Saturday nights. My father would open the store and work until the "workers" were out of school. This arrangements separated the family some and helped to cease a lot of in-house fighting. My dad worked his shifts on his own and the rest of us worked with older kids and adult males. He had gotten some of his workers through my brother’s boy scout troop.

This was the arrangements for about five years. My father lost his gas station with the international oil embargos. It was a time of panic and we had long lines of people at the gas station like a zillion miles long trying to get gas. And, he had to shut off the pumps early to preserve the gas. The business failed and needed to be sold. It was around the time of Nixon’s Watergate Scandal.

Any way, we’re regressing here. The point is although we were being paidapproximately $21-22 a 7-hour shift, the real psychological blessing was that there was an abundancy of "Free" candy bars, ice cream and pop. We also had large fridgerators which contained premade hamburgers to be microwaved for our dinner. We were in the habit of acouple of candy bars and cans of pop a night. Not to mention the ice cream sandwiches. The only catch is that you needed to mark down the purchase on a card left next to the register. So we did. There were no signatures needed and my father had mistakenly trusted the help (and us). It got to the point, toward the end that we were bringing candy bars to school to sell or give away to our friends. We were very bad.

The last memory was in regard to my favorite grandparent who was my father’s mother. She died when we were also twelve. From a very early age she gave us change or return pop bottles to go to her corner store in Minneapolis. She lived on the second floor of a two flat and the little store was two buildings down without having to cross streets. Going alone to this corner store was one of our all time favorite memories of early childhood. Of course, everyone knew everyone so it was safe.

Our Grandmother was a Lucy in a Lucy and Ethel type relationship with the older couple downstairs. I just remembered that they owned the building and he was a retired firefighter named Stan and her name was Vivian, or Vi.  My Grandmother's name was actually Ethel.  We would always stop in to say hi when we visited. They like my Grandmother used to give us small change to go to the store, as well as introducing us to the popular troll dolls. They also had bottles to return. At the store our favorite candy was the sweet necklaces or red licorice. We also were passionate about getting orange crush pop and drinking a whole bottle on our own.

Each of these events were most likely chained in our brain (Annemarie’s mind), as acts of independence and from my Grandmother, love. We were aware early on of my father's equivalency values of raking the yard, cleaning the house, or folding rags. From him money was always a trade-off for labor. Maybe due to the fact he and my mother were on their own to survive financially after becoming pregnant with my brother when they were 18 and 17 years old.  They had three children by the ages of 21 and 20.  The difference was at my Grandmother’s house, we were treated out to the goodies only out of love and her pure delight in us.

Today, this appeared associated in thought with the importance of taking ourselves to the store for a candy bar. Oh, there was one more story. My Grandmother kept sweet fruit candied slices arranged on a platternext to a candy dish next to the living room couch. This is actually quite different than the cookies the other Grandmother left for us. But, ties hand in hand. One of our problems of late has been one of our Saturday rituals ofstopping by a little store to pick up candy bars or orange/fruit slices. Never put the two and two together though. It had seemed that we were "taking care" of ourselves. My Grandmother’s candy had come from a fancy box with a thin gold elastic cord from Brach’s or Fannie Mae.

The thing was with her we were free and happy and loved. Which is quite starkly different from our relationship with most other family members, particularly my mother's father who had done the sexual abuse, and the physical displays of rage and anger between my mother and father. The males in our family, both Grandfather's and my father were alcoholics.  Hmm, I’m wondering now if the stealing food from him was connected to some kind of unconscious payback. I know there were food control problems with our mother that were very bad. My sister was the one who was anorexic.  My mother's mother was very German and her father had been Danish and French.  My father's father had been English and My beloved grandmother was Norwegian.  Maybe this was all too ackward of a culture mix.  I would have been born only 13 years after the end of WWII.

Anyway ... my Grandmother’s husband, my Grandfather, had died a month before I was born and two months earlier than that my Grandmother had lost the second of her four sons to a military funeral. Always etched into our brain, and maybe due to the fact my brother was the first born, but still another boy, was that we were to have been the first girl child in the family. I believe this weighed heavily into the relationship I had with my Grandmother.  We were her special treat.  There were nights and weekends and parental vacations, where the family would go, and I’d be left with my Grandmother. My sister was too young and fearful (tied to apron strings and often was forced to vie for attention between the relationship of her mother and father, where I simply separated from them). My brother didn’t appear to "need" my Grandmotheras I had.  He was being especially treated with boy treats such as scouts, fishing, sports and such by his father and mother's father. 

Our Grandmother took us to her wealthy friends houses (one was a mansion with a butler and runningfountain inside the entryway). And, she took us downtown on buses and cabs which at that time was still a luxury. She treated us out to fancy lunches where we would meet up with her friends. Hehe, some with big white puffy hair in shades of purple, green, or blue. It was set stiffly, or lacquered with hair spray. And, my how I remember those wonderful cake and pie desserts!

My Grandmother would fix our hair with extra ponytails, which made my mother angry. My mother was always angry with my Grandmother, but my Grandmother and I didn’t care how angry my mother was. I was safe from being physically abused as long as I could lean into her apron.  The relationship with both parents were very formal and strict to the degree, we called them, "Yes Ma'am, and Yes, Sir."  Our time was our Grandmother was fun and somewhat "silly."  She had been a flapper during her youth in a big city, where my mother's mother had been raised to be practical on a farm in North Dakota.  My favorite Grandmother had married later in her 20's where my mother's mother and my mother had both gotten married early because "they had to." 

But, as long as I needed to be babysat, my mother couldn’t stop the relationship with a Grandmother who showed love instead of discipline. This Grandmother used to let us test squirt her special perfumes as well as being treated to adventures in large stoned earings and necklaces. We'd help her vacuum and dust her apartment and she used to let us have our own coffee (mostly cream), make wonderful hot dishes, and we’d use to watch her on the telephone, or with her favorite television shows. Though the best of course, was Lawrence Welk. We also remember the buble baths and the little colored round balls of fragrances that would be dropped in the hot tub.

She read stories to us such as Curious George and the Boy with a Purple Crayon and there was another favorite where thousands of birds gathered to feed red berries to a dragon. Everything at her house was magical, including her tall fluffy satin bed spread and lacy pillows. It was a big deal to stay up on top of the bed without sliding off, because sometimes we’d get so tired that we couldn’t climb all the way back up without help of the fancywhitewicker chair next to the bed. This is where we took our afternoon naps.  Hmm, she had also a tall/thin shelf unit that held small carved wooden with ivory tusks and jade elephants and such.  She'd allowed us to play with them if we were careful.  They came from the son who had died while stationed in Japan and were very special to her.

Shoot, this has been a whole lot of remembering for one day. Our minds have been inundated. Thing is ... this whole candy/food thing, we believe is part now of Annemarie’s strength. She hardly tolerates leaving the house, but she will walk by her self and receive not only the sugar, but the warm fuzzy feelings from walking down the sugar aisle. Other than this, it would seem most her memories are tied to what she perceives as safety through being dead. She holds out in dark corners of our being, and now KC joins her.  It would be no big surprise at this point, to be realizing why Dear Heart has remained behaviorally that of a twelve to thirteen year old.  KC is 9.

All this is important, because of our belief that Annemarie (Dear Heart) as she is now most often called was the one of us, our core, whom we believe were to have been divided from. Today, we feel a new sense of hope in the knowledge and understanding that she can be associated with our deepest feelings of love and independence. We believe that what is conscious can be worked through.  WoW! Incredible experience!!!

For now, the rain has stopped. We’ve been delighting in the thought of surprising our friend with treating him to our new favorite Chinese place!  He’ll be stopping by in a couple of hours, so we need to now pick up the food.  It's open."

*Sigh* So that’s the scoop! We’re back to real time. Need to figure out where we are at now after having read our thoughts once more. Hehe, did we mention that my Grandmother worked as a typist? Just likely another of many long reasons we don't often leave this keyboard? I don’t know...

We’re thinking pretty soon time for an ice slushy. Not one single gram of sugar!!! 4.2 pounds lost, Yipppee!!  Maybe ... somehow we will be better now to think and help Dear Heart through strengthening bonds of love and independence. You think?!  One way or another, thank you very much for reading us!  It means a lot.

Morning Review

Mornin ... Mornin! It’s already mid-way through and we’re heading into the "Apple Stage" of the day :) which is to say ... it’s about 10 am. We had a hard time going to sleep last night and stayed up two hours past bedtime, because we were enjoying so much a couple of new journals found.  Both are analytic!

Shana is one of the new writers we’ve added to our favorites. In her "spare" time, she has a job to "offer writing enrichment and other language arts learning opportunities for children K-12." At the present time, Shana is between moving her family (four children, hubby, and dog) from Texas to Georgia due to a job change for her hubby. She has just finished writing a portion of entries talking of some of the events she has BRAVELY taken her kids (on her own) as a means to saying good-bye to the area they’ve lived. Although our kids are no longer young like hers, we found her writing style to be much more like ours than any other we found. Shana also has a strong faith and sense of humor!

I found Pamela’s journal through Shana’s list of favorites. She says, she isn’t an aspiring writer, but she communicates miles of interesting thought in very good brevity of form. (For as able are we to discern such things! Hehe). Pamela works both at a hospital and it seems a director for aupair services. She has three children, a husband, a cat and dog (not necessarily in that order :) and is very much enjoying the first couple weeks of summer with them. Not quite sure how Pamela keeps up with all the families activities. She has reflected recently that it might be more preferable to be the families dog due to such a relaxed life the dog leads. We’d like to send an extra prayer that she soon recovers from a painful ear infection - though, we know God’s sent her a very loving family to help her through it!

That pretty much tops the highlights of the day. :) Hehe actually, we read many, many more journals, but that be part and parcel of the day’s flow. I’m afraid that our love of journal reading took over for the day, and Adler’s book on reading, fell to the side. Mostly I think becausethe journal reading is more relaxing than "studying a book," and we might have had to do the first before able to do the second. It’s ok ... both were on the agenda.

Maybe this morning, we can be more orientated to the study. The desire to be doing this is very strong in reality. There’s a tenseness we feel toward the project ... a wanting to be on our way. We need to figure out though the process. Maybe it would behoove us to think through the process of our web page without going too much further. We’re already four chapters into the book without having noted our thoughts. It’s always trickier to start a project, because time needs to be spent setting up format. Maybe no better way, then opening up Pandora’s box. Hold on...

Hmm, this is where we had last left the format toward the end of last year when we had more in mind to be reading of multiplicity than developmental disabilities:

"The "item" pages of THE CATALOG will be found by clicking on the chapter links. Each item will include a brief summary of the material, targeted view-point, perspective (thoughts/feelings) of the contributor, and general conclusive thoughts/next direction."

I think at that time, we were more interested in collecting the experience of the whole book, where now, we’re leaning toward the collection of information from each chapter.

"Whoops!" Well that almost went as scheduled, well not much. Just started and we got a chance to IM with Tammy, but then we ended up on the phone with Macadam for an hour, then Tammy was on the phone and then Tammy had to leave. So, now you all get a real quick recap.

Macadam is doing very well! He’s had his two best weeks of the year and is very happy about that. Us too! We talked about the new kitchen they want to put in their condo, and in particular we talked of him getting stainless steel appliances! Yay Guys!!! They’re doing very good.

We also talked about the inheritance stuff. It’s only supposed to be a week or two now. Longer for our brother. He took the furniture I was supposed to get and said, he’d bring it down for me, but he reneged. So the estate person and lawyer are goingto hold out money from him until he does something to make amends.

Macadam talked to us in that, his father (our ex) has volunteered to go up to northern Wisconsin with our son to retrieve things and he wanted to know how we would feel about that. He noted, especially in that he’d need his father’s help bringing things up our 3 flights of stairs. The first response was to worry over our son ... we didn’t want to see him moving furniture on his own and at minimum if they met half way it would be a 6 hour drive. That’s far too far to go on your own. I think they would still stick to the plan of renting a trailer and borrowing Tanner’s Hummer, so in that respect I know Macadam and his father would look forward to the drive and time spent together.  Boys will be boys!

I think the hardest part is that it means that we’re going to have to make a mind adjustment. Since the divorce, we’ve had to move 7 times in 11 years. Our ex hasn’t seen our last 5 "homes." Three of them were in government housing after living at a Homeless shelter. We were bankrupted in ‘97 through high costs of legal/custody issues. Well, and at that time ... we had our own credit card problem. We were putting everything on credit including groceries, just to make do.

In the last seven years, I may have seen/talked to the ex three times. Twice to pick up Jacob when he used to live with his father, and once when Tanner dropped out of high school. (Tanner now has GED and is making way more than his Dad, Mom, and two brothers put together. D*mn those fickle odds! *Grin*).

It’s way, way too long to be angry about such things as how ex’s get to be ex’s, just that I guess I’ve kind of garnered my privacy. I’m proud of how far up I’ve climbed in relation to where we were then. We finished our BA, and have worked hard the last 5 years in a job related field, we love.

Hmm, five times. We saw him for two minutes after having watched Jacob cheerlead for a big college football game and we saw him at Macadam’s wedding.  In all that time, if there were more than an hour and a half combined conversation, I'd be surprised.  We each say an earnest, "Hi, how are you?"  Then, pretty much go back to attending business at hand that doesn't have really much to do with the other.  This is with the exception of Tanner having dropped out of school.  I think that hit us both hard and we were a little more supportive of each other.

*Silly Grin* I suppose it would be ok if he knew where we lived and dropped by. It would be a very nice gesture for him to make the trip, AND I wouldn’t have to put up with hiswife’s demonic staredown. Hehehe. I’d offered and Macadam excepted that were giving him a couple thousand of the dollars for the kitchen. I’d asked if he had told anyone, because we were worried that one of his two brothers would think he had "pushed" me into it. It’s nothing like that.  Just think Macadam and his wife work so hard and have many more financial challenges than the other two brothers. Just want to give them a "little" break.

I guess Macadam has decided his brothers didn’t need to know about this "deal," so we’re working under the table :). Never put it past us to be just a little sneaky!  He did apparently though tell his father. He told me the context of the conversation. It seems it was within boundaries. We’re usually pretty guarded about the other side of the family knowing our business. But, none of us live in vacuums. I was so proud of Mcadam as he repeated such nice things about me to his father and that the father agreed that I really was a wonderful nice person. I’d always wanted that ... not that I’d be in contact with the ex, but that we wouldn’t hate each other ... because there was a time, when we really were in love. Mostly though, because its not healthy for kids to have the parents at odds with each other. I believe this strongly!

Ok, now ... breath! It’ll be ok ... Little part’s issue here. Hmm, maybe we should break for lunch. We’re going to have to go pick up a few items at the little store too. Figures, fate is demanding I get dressed and leave the house on my days off?! Incredible poor luck! We may be back to the journal soon ... Pretty big security blanket for us. You’ve all the hearts to understand? Just feel my best in front of this screen.  And, we like to leave thoughts as we're working through our projects!  Yep, yep ... getting more eccentric each day!

Update 1:30 pm ... we're still struggling to get out the door ... seems someones holding us hostage for a trip in exchange for a candy bar.  This is way past Casey and KC.  How to deal ... how to deal ... now she (Dear Heart) is messin with the smokers in the bunch who NEED to go to the store!  Hmm, we can do this peacefully, right?  Shoot, where is our diet buddy when she's needed? 

Ok ... first being conscientious of the problem is being very good.  The deal is ... we are to stay as far away from candy bars as is possible.  We still need to physically go into the little store.  The problem comes in that someone grabs out for the candy that is waaaaay to close to the registers.  Then some of us would feel bad.  Hmm, maybe we could offer an exchange?  We know though that there is not much healthy food to be found at the little store.  Hmm...  Something ... for Ms Sweet tooth... what'll it be?  Think our best Dr. M. thoughts here.  We're thinking Dr. M. would say a compromise is in order.  Maybe we get the Milky Way, but get the smaller bar? 

It's now a showdown ... parts are gathering on either side of the fence.  There is a fear here that someone is going to drop/punt and grab the bigger bar.  This wouldn't seem fair to the parts that have worked hard at staying "good."  It seems quite clear now that the two Casies have become willing accomplices of Dear Heart.  That's a pretty important relationship.  Maybe we should honor that piece of progress ... (information released).  BUT, there has got to be a moment where this issue is brought up to Dr. M. tomorrow morning!  Yeah right, sure, sure.... Promise!

LOL - Issue resolved?  Maybe the real compromise is that we are at least now not washing down the candy with a large milkshake and whopper!  See there is progression here!  Gotta go!

Ok, ok ... eating issues all resolved? Yeeks, Sarah had a say too, she needed to wash down the candy bar sweetness with her celery sticks. Sort of like sterilizing our throat?  Communication and trust ... work hand in hand. On the short drive to the store, KC was so happy about us allowing the candy bar, and in just being "out" with Dear Heart in tow, that she persuaded Dear Heart, we could make do on the smaller candy bar! This is an improvement.

One more note to Dr. M. here. Seems as part of this last process, the location of the candy bar was important. Seems that Dear Heart feels more confident opening the door and looking for the big bar to her immediate right, than the little bar which was found way over and around, then under in the display. There was an insurgency of relief for her in spotting the bigger bar, but then like a milk horse with blinders on, it was very difficult for her, even with KC, to go the nextfew feet and make her eyes scan for the familiar, but smaller wrapper ... kind of a transition of going from big crayons to little and there was a lot of surrounding blur.  Felt like we were pushing her to her limits. 

As soon as the bar was in hand, she disappeared and Corey was able to ask at the register for the smokes. KC remained close in that she handed the lady the card. This is as much as we’ve seen KC for quite a few weeks, maybe months. Last we recall she was being rescued by Henry and Casey from the moat of alligators. I don’t know. How long ago was that? There’s been worrying over her though we know her to be old enough to be out a little on her own. We’re thinking that KC may be cave-dwelling with Dear Heart. It seems more at this point, she’s acting on her own volition, though its also apparent, she’s befriended Dear Heart. That’s all. Jamie

Hmm, 80 old former President Bush just jumped out of a plane and fell 13,000 feet to the ground. No ... seriously ... he’s ok. Seem he jumped with an expert for fun. Can we all whisper, "Heart ATTACK!!!" Boys ... go figure! You don’t see Queen Elizabeth bungy jumping do you?  Ok, Ok ... handing back the reigns.