Feeling Better, Thank you

Hmm, now we’re in a different place that turns out to be ok :). Last night, we talked to our resident good friend Tammy in Ims for quite the while ... I think having very good friends is sometimes better than most things imaginable. We appreciate the support all of you have given. Vince, you lead all definitions when it comes to defining friendship.  Your simply stated wise words usually tend to calm me ... I think we’re of mind to find out a little more of what being in a state of grace is all about. We’ve never used that term.  Thanks Hugh just love new insights!

Maria, we had the boys going through therapy through the last year of obtaining the divorce and the following year or two. The boys first went in together just the three of them, then later into their own therapy sessions. The time was used to help them understand what was happening and to assist them in sorting out their thoughts and feelings. I’m not thinking they understood much of the multiplicity at that time. When they started the age ranges were like 10 through 14. Tanner didn’t get along so well with his therapist because he was so angry, so that seemed to spoil the situation. Jacob liked his therapist. Macadam continued the longest. He had felt depression and he thought his therapist to be more supportive of his needs.

I think that Macadam and Jacob would return if they thought there were a real need. But, each of them is doing surprisingly well. I think Jacob is beholden to Tanner’s thoughts and beliefs though. Tanner is supporting Jacob through college and in giving him a place to stay during the summers. Tanner is very stubborn and set in his beliefs. He handles his anger through his controlled environment both at work and home. Some of you most likely know already that Tanner had made himself into a millionaire last year. He has all those stresses and pressures to sort out. This year he isn’t doing nearly as well, but has taken on the position of supporting not only Jacob, but four of his and Jacob’s friends. Sort of like a commune :). He’ll be ok, his heart is actually made of gold. They all do a lot of playing during their free time, so although we are blocked out, they are having quite a time.

I think you are right Bill that this kind of thing happens more often than not. The hugs have been so heartfelt. I will wait to talk to Dr. M. tomorrow about some of the guilt I am feeling particularly in the case of the inheritance money. It doesn’t help that today is father’s day. I think part of the desire to spend the money quickly is that I’ve had a hard time processing the death of both my father and Sandy. They went together so quickly. My father died a very angry man. It had been that way growing up with him. I think he did his best to break poor Sandy’s heart before he left. Keeps going back to the statement he last made to me. He was angry and told me that he was the father and being so, he expected himself to be the one who would think things through, not me. He said, "that is your problem, you think too much. I’m the father and will do the thinking." Of course, I long since learned differently ... I can actually think too.

I’m sure Dr. M. has taken up also the position of so many of you ... Do what makes me feel good. Money doesn’t always bring happiness as Viv said, and best to make the best situation over not. Crying is not necessarily a bad thing as Sandy has noted.

It was tremendously helpful to talk to Tammy last night. She also had a parent who had died and left an inheritance. I respect how she had ordered her thoughts revolving around the money. I think she is hoping that we spend the money freely as we would wish. That would put her on the Dr. M. side and where our heart rests most comfortably. I want to fly freely as a bird past my wounded feelings.

I don’t want to schluff off Macadam’s and our friend’s best interest for us. And, although it is a large sum for me, in the "real" world, it’s less than what would be considered having made our fortune. Once we knew it wouldn’t be enough to buy a car ... all other major considerations flew straight past us. Funny, in the sense that Scalzi wanted people to be thinking of having inherited millions and what we’d do with it. We have this amount and its turning us inside out.

We really like nothing better than to spend money when it is available. I don’tthink we could be considered wasteful, but I don’t really want either to be stuck thinking only about the couch that we got a good deal at Sam’s Club for the next 6 ½ years. Shoot, I really feel terrible saying this, because Mcadam is trying so hard to be reasonable. This one could break hearts! I’m feeling a tinge of a snoot. I want to say, we got the best that our money could afford!

Not too long after Tammy and us talked, Macadam called us back and we spent a couple of hours talking between he and his wife, Lee. During the process, she listened to "our side of the story." She was pretty understanding and it flowed better between woman to woman. In the process, they had convinced me to look at a few on-line sites. I think 7 or 8. Apparently, Lee knows all about this kind of shopping. She knew where to direct us.

That turned out in our advantage, the only store that seemed to offer our kind of a certain amount of quality at a better price was, "Homemakers." So it was decided they would come by today (sparkle - with my granddaughter), and we would go to just the Homemakers store and the one that Dr. M. had suggested, "Room and Board." They will try to be considerate of our distaste for shopping and our inability to stand/walk for lengths of time.

I was quite satisfied with my first selection, but will want to assure ourselves we have fallen in love with the right couch. If I look closely at more than a half dozen couches though I might be very frustrated. I really am more of an impulse shopper and that has rarely led me astray. If anyone would like to look ... this is the couch we’re favoring at the moment. ‘Cept, you have to hit the color link, we like the one in sage. :)

Room & Board Couch