Our Day Off

This is me ... for whatever that means when you live inside somebody who is a multiple. We’ve goofed up today ... picked up a pack of cigarettes and have had a few. I’ve gone about 40 days without. They were down in the car, but I went down and brought them out to the balcony. We’ve been out there for about an hour and a half just watching and rocking. Then I got hungry. The good news was in the discovery of a whole brand new jar of peanut butter not opened. Woo hoo pretty good deal.

Today we have off from work ... means I could do about anything I wanted. I know what should get done as well as the next guy, but I doubt I’ll do that. Sorta just want to write for a bit. Feeling like I don’t care ‘bout much else.

We had a Dr. M. Appointment this morning ... I’m not sure how I feel about that. I guess you are going to hear me figuring that out. We seem to be remembering more than normal, and I’m not the only one who listened in. Thing is ... Casey was out and there were some that were younger than her. Annemarie was about too, though it was almost all Casey that did the talking. One of the first things she decided was that a big spider was going to come and stomp out our mother and her house. Then Casey got involved with some bad pictures and her hands had gotten bloody because of what she’d done to the mother with scissors. She hid the hands from Dr. M. between the seat cushions and she said the mother had cut them off. Dr. M. told her his couch grows back hands then Casey figured that the fairies that live in Dr. M’s chair could help her wash the blood off.

No problems here, right? ... Apparently, an email had gotten through from the real mother last night. We’ve since then closed down that account or any other family links that we know of. We don’t mean to have our younger parts feeling terrorized. And, we’re pretty sure she doesn’t need to know we wished her crushed by a very large spider, or worse. For the record ... we’re not violent people. Through all our images, we’ve yet to be able to pull-out Kleenex’s from Dr. M.s box to throw on the ground in anger. That’s about the worst of the images we’ve carried around over the years... but, in over 5 years we’ve yet to do more than visually act out this angrily. This is kinda a new deal. Shoot, even when we were married and had kids underfoot, we had to pay them a penny a piece to kill the flies for us! Just not violent.

Hmm,that didn’t work out so well ... smoked four cigarettes total and got sick. They’ve been drowned now. Thanks V.

About that other stuff ... I guess we’re trying to handle stuff the best we can. Which isn’t to say we’re doing it very well at all. Now, we’ve got to remind ourselves of our tendencies to hurt ourselves rather than others. I guess we are kinda violent.  Kinda feelin down maybe more now than before trying to do really dumb stuff like smoke. C’mon we know better than that, right? Uhuh... Ok, ok ... gotta lighten up here. Shoot, this is our day off! Hmm, 2:30 pm now. Friend wants to come over at 5-6 pm to show off his new car. Gotta be happy by then. Let’s see re-shower, re-dress, dry hair ... ok we’re going to give ourselves 30-45 minutes here, then we’re going to do all that. Deal? Hmm, nap? Yeah maybe that’s a good deal too. Ok, OK ... set the timer for 45, no more!

*Sigh* Best laid Plans of Mice and Men ...Well, the nap turned out to be three hours and our friend didn't end up coming over until 7.  It was a short visit.  We were the first to take a ride in his new car, but he was pretty cranky with us first.  Reasons too many to explain ... Mostly, we've let things go.  The car part though was pretty cool.  It's the first time I've seen up close the navigational systems.  It was awesome.  Even had a directional arrow that explained our direction getting out of the parking lot.  He still hasn't named her, but the woman's voice was pretty neat.  Hehe, at one point he gave her the wrong command and she started lowering the temperature to such a degree, I thought she was a little biting.  He's going to have to treat her right to get his way.