Darn, 25,000 character limit! (2 of 2)

 

   Aha!  The rice only got a little bit too done.  I could really see her doing well with juvenile delinquents.  I think mental retardation is going to be too easy for her, that is unless she was really challenged to do some really introspective work and learn think independently and ahead.  I don't want to seem pretentious, but Asst. M has a good trainer in me.  The first part because I know the present job pretty well, but for the second part, because I am still learning and I will take her with me, as well as learning from her.  She's not going to get that everywhere she goes.  Most people are very settled in their ways.  And, I think out there she is going to find a lot of G., E. and J's who would rather be doing something else, maybe especially because of bureaucracy.  Just that I could see her in a court of law preceding like on TV, where she is dressed nicely, is young and beautiful, and not only knows her stuff, but really cares.  She is like a precious jewel in the making.  She's got it all!  She'll have to figure out big fish/little pond, or little fish/big pond.  :)  Ahh, I know something that might help ... She could be trained to get into state politics.  That might help her with some of the professionalism she is going to need.  She first told me that she doesn't write or read well.  I'm not sure about reading yet, but I know she can write.  My guess is that if she is slowed down with reading, it's only because she indeed reads very well, but the reading she chooses will be the hard stuff.  Man, I sure hope she decides to stick it out.  But, Sister is going to need eventually paying her so that she is somewhat motivated.  She should be making about as much as her Mom almost and after June next year, should surpass her mom.  Eh, lots more time with this one.  There is no doubt in my mind though that after 3 weeks she surpasses all other trainees :)

    I guess only a couple more topics to go through ... I wanted it down for the record that Macadam is doing well.  I don't know if I talked to him before or after our last appointment.  I think after.  He and Lee spent a week ago Tuesday staying overnight in the big hospital.  But, the results came back negative that would have meant the baby is coming within two weeks.  Sothat is real good news.  Macadam says she has the kind of bedrest where she can be up 15-20 minutes for every 4-5 hours in bed.  Hmm, seems I've written this before somewhere.  I think we've told anyone interested.  Macadam thinks its going to be harder and harder to keep her down, because she's already getting bored.  We'll have to see.  This Sunday, we have an appointment with Jacob and his roommate, and the following weekend we have another tentative plan to go over to Macadam's.  We're looking forward to both.

    Ok, two more subjects your appointments and school ... which do we tackle first?  I guess we better do school first.  We've made some progress on it this last week, but we're not up to 100% yet.  Over the weekend and Monday, we completed the four assignments that were past due with multi.  Then yesterday morning, we completed both outlines for final projects.  That's all good news ... but I still have two more assignments for cog and then one each for what was due last night.  So officially, I am still four assignments behind.  Some progress, but not full.  It seems like school is being treated like the big projects at work, it is a process to clear all my smaller tasks and excess thoughts, before I can settle down and get into it.  It is a while now over a couple of weeks since I've had any feedback with teachers.  I don't think they comment much on late work, plus the cog teacher has been moving and the multi teacher has been dealing with hurricanes.  Yeeks!  Funny, a teacher last semester moved too.  What's up with that?

    The multi work has come pretty easily, but I'm being a bit leery of the other.  It seems easy enough after I learn it, but there is pain and long hours in doing so.  Just there is just so much ... not actually in amount, although that is up there, but mostly in difficulty.  I think we have talked before about how new the concepts are.  Before I fell asleep last night I started reading the multi.  I think I could get done fairly soon both assignments due this week, so I could concentrate on cognitive, but I'm not sure if I'm just putting it off.  I was able to do a fairly good outline, but I know I have to read a couple more chapters.  And, I am going to need to start budgeting time for the final paper.  We are already into week 6 of 10.  Well, actually 11 ... they give you a week to catch up.  The semester is just zooming.  I feela little bad for not keeping up better, but every time I do get a little more done, I feel better.  Can't say enough for V's questioning, "School?"  Sometimes in our mind and the mind's priorities, it's like we're almost forgetting school exists.  It's very much how were feeling right now about annuals and Qnotes.  We know they are there, but it feels a million miles away.  Well, at least down past the next street corner. 

    That was one good thing about yesterday's processing at work.  We finished the task of separating all the tall stacks of work, so we know where each of the annuals and other tasks are in files and folders.  It should be easier now to break down the tasks.  It took us a while just to get to the part, where we were able to think through how to do one.  So, while we were remembering, we wrote down "report, signatures, goals/objectives, and filing."  It took a couple of extra days to remember we had to check ICAP reports too.  I keep going over it in my mind, but I think that's how you do them.  Asst. M might get into a little of that, but I hope to getting more of it done, so I'm not saving it up for her rush couple of hours.  I do find that thought of her coming back, propels me further down the line.  Last night, I think I mentioned I already , I scheduled my day for this morning.  I allowed a half hour for mail, Sr., DSP 1A, and getting loose thoughts together, but I think I scheduled in the day to be getting projects accomplished.  I gotta try to remember now.  Think I scheduled in .75 minutes each for the next four client files into the computer, then I have a half hour for something, don't remember, but then I scheduled an hour for getting the nurses registry in, then an hour for staff training, and then 2.5 hours into the staff training calendar.  We figured we would stay at work until 5 pm.  I think we are going to try to hold onto that time, because while we can get good quiet time at work to progress the extra hour, when we get home, we are finding ourselves to tired to do seriously any school work, whether I left at 4 or 5 pm.  Might as well get something done at work.  It doesn't hurt me in Sr.'s eyes either.  Plus, Thursday, early for your appointment.  And, there are still the times, our friend comes over and we have to leave on time.  Hmm, maybe I should switch that then to 5:30.  Most likely only 3 nights.  That is less than 5 hours a week, but it is good hours.  That's about the latest really, because we need an hour or so to wind down.  The secret is to eat, have a smoke, then start reading school work, that puts us out like a light!  Then, obviously, we're up early.  Maybe if we get these extra thoughts out of are head, we'll be finally able to concentrate on school?

    Ok, one last thing.  We need to think through how we are doing with you.  I think it's been awhile since any of the younger parts have been out.  I'd like to have it stay that way for at least one or two more meetings.  In our head, the most important thing is to be getting down some of these processes.  I was kinda hoping that if we brought in the journal, you might be able to help us iron out some kinks.  We had a pretty long discussion about it with friend on Friday night, hmm or was that Tuesday??  *Sigh*  Anyway, he was contentious from the start.  As soon as I even mentioned the word journals, he thought we were wasting out time.  He had also seen the new project folders and thought that out of hand.  Each time out of about 20, I tried to explain something, he kept blocking the conversation with negative thinking, which is a terribly frustrating thing to go through.  It makes me feel defensive.  Finally, we stepped down trying to explain anything and just let him talk about his own organization.  That seemed to calm him down and I am always learning something by the way he does stuff.  I just don't think he's comprehending the seriousness of what's going on with my memory.  He's got a great memory for detail.  School though should still be ok, as long as everything is tied to paper.  Just have to appreciate extra time consumption in getting it down.  Benefits are that it really does allow for excellent order.  Oh oh V thought.  He is going to think go for A- in order, skip A+++.  I live with the thought, that at any day, someone should be able to come in and take over my job.  I told G. and believe that I could stay in the office forever, and if I ever made money, I would pay Sr. to keep my office :)

    Whoops didn't get very far into our thoughtsof therapy.  We umm still telling V. that we're in love with you.  I think you might have to be a psychologist to understand something like that.  I'm thinking sometimes, we live in a happy bubble.  Just feeling too gosh darn happy.  Thinking the boys used to make me feel that and during the early years so did my husband, but then there were the 13 years in between 1990 and 2003 that weren't so good except the boys, Dr. W. and our friend.  Wow, what a lot of years.  I think that's right.  Dr. W. in 90 after the big break downs and separation, than our friend in 93.  We lost the boys in 97 that was hard, but thinking now between 87 and 90 the real bad years with ex, but made it through with Dr. C.  By 90, although everything fell apart, it really did seem to get better because of the above mentioned.  So let's just call 87-93 bad years.  By 93, we were officially divorced.  YAYYYY!  Then of course school '97-99, and then you from '99 forward.  Each of these years were marker years and as for the last 6 years ... AHA You were the one who created the happy bubble!  And, it didn't hurt that V. stepped in '93.  He is still getting a good part of the credit for what allowed for school.  Ok, let me try this one more time ... Going to do a time line!
 
OK ... you can skip this next part ... we're just rambling, we are going to put it all together. 

59-77 BAD childhood (18 terrible years), 77 graduated high school, moved to college, 80 left college for marriage, Linder street apartment, Chicago, 80 Macadam born, 81 North Oak Park house, 82 Tanner born, 83 South Oak Park house, 84 Jacob born, 85 Spring Street house, Elgin, 87 marriage started falling apart, Douglas Street Upstairs half house, Elgin, met Dr. C., 90 mental collapse, met Dr. W., Douglas Street Downstairs half house - separated, 92 get three boys, 93 apartment on First Ave, River Grove, officially divorced, met our friend, got jobs at JVS, 95 Thatcher house, River Grove, 97 domestic crises lose three boys (start at square #1), Homeless shelter and 3 government projects, 99 graduated college with BA in psychology, got job at the Center, apartment Northside Chicago, and met Dr. M., 00 to present apartment on Forest in Brookfield, '03 collapsed of depression/too many deaths, started journal, met V., and '05 started college for MA in educational psychology.  Hehehehe that's it!  It all makes perfectly good sense, doesn't it?!   Make a hell of an interesting resume.  This all is why I am here today, hmm...  Would it sell?

Pretty darn good all said!  Wow some real rough years too, but given these last 28 years, nothing will ever be as bad as the first 18 of being a kid.  Yep, yep 46 years old and counting.  Shoot, this is my whole life so far!  Pretty darn good.  Wow, another interesting fact!  Beside house growing up first 18 years, the longest I've ever stayed in one place is this place for the last 5 years!!!!!  And, I've loved each moment of being here.  AND, by ourselves!  That makes 8 years "on our own."  One day I'll tell the terrors of moving so much, especially on relationships with friends and neighbors.  Other than that, never more than 2-3 years.  Wow!  Ok, not sure why all this, but my life is now accounted for!  :)  It's kinda funny.  Been a long time since we thought it through.  Looks also interesting in that 7 good years married, 6 very bad years watching marriage fall apart and end, but 12 years super years with friend.  :)  Hate to say it, but over and above all that there's been 5 poor years with psychologists and 16 great years with psychiatrists!  Funny!  You'd think by 21 years, we should be now in some kind of common law relationship with our doctors and sharing half the loot!  hehehe. 

Ok, ok ... I know, we've gotten to the silly part.  Don't think school work is happening this morning.  Only 45 min before work.  *Sigh*  I'm not sure which is the most outstanding highlight from all this psychology.  Man, wouldn't it be prophetic if one year I really did end up with a PhD. in psychology??  You would have to say we earned it!  The very best in psychology has been meeting Dr. M.  the worst was electric shock treatments at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester.  Can't say too much for hospitalization either.  We've gone through it about 20 times, BUT it's been a few years now, knock on wood!  I think this experience I am having right now is a process of reframing life.  I counted them ... Basically, then I can neatly store my life in 34 life changing moments from birth to present.  All of them red marker days.  Many of those items periods of crises.  BUT, I am still in a good mood and am generally a happy person.  In the middle, I've picked up abuse, multiplicity, depression, anxiety, and obsession/compulsion, not to mention arthritis, diabetes, and a few other loose threads.  Hey here's an interesting fact ... Most of my hair hasn't turned gray yet!  See, there yago!  Doing pretty good!  Yeeks, another fact ... I just figured over a week's time I smoke 1.2 smokes every hour.  Hmmm.  Ok, just one last fact since I had my handy dandy calculator latoring ... For every year of my life, on average, I've gained 6.23 pounds.  I believe an average woman my age should have only gained 2.82 pounds, that means I gained more than 55% of weight per year than is normal.  That sure can't be good.  BUT, this year, we're 20.37 pounds towards the other direction.  So, things can't be too bad.  *Giggling*  I am also willing to bet that there is no person in the whole wide world "figurin" how many pounds per year she has gained at 6 am in the morning.  Well, maybe a few, but those people would be odd! 

Too what extreme will I go to avoid a simple paper??  Hmm...  Whoops, shower time!