The Cost of a Car

Morning or afternoon at least.  :) Today, is looking to be another quiet, but much looked forward to day of rest. I appreciate some of your wonderful comments and excitement of the story we've started in the last entry, but I have to think for a while about how to precede. While five of you thought the story fun, there were four who did not respond. We’re afraid we may have insulted people, or they may be just too busy and unable to respond, but we figure we should play it safe than sorry. So, we are on hold. Sorry for this delay.

The schemer in me still is thinking through ideas. I am having a very good time imagining what might happen to the green ghost, and I can assure you that Floralilia’s notice of the rose bushes is very tempting! We’ll continue figuring out a way that will be conducive to the well-being of any one who might read or wind up in the story. I know the safer route would be to make up fictional characters, but I would really like to figure out ways of tying in different events of J-landers. I see us as most often an observer. And, in general we’d like to highlight and promote some of the peoples’ stories we are running across. Plus, the fact that it is just a good challenge to our brain!

Maybe it will be better served and developed after I take some more time to work with the Hall of Fame. I fear I haven’t advanced that cause as much as I’d hoped to over the long weekend. This morning I received an email from my boss sort of reminding me that she was looking forward to my return, perhaps tomorrow? *Sigh*

I’m also trying to figure out what next to do with the purchasing of items mentioned previously in other entries. :) We’ve $2-3,000 we’ve set aside to spend on a small library collection of books. Hmm, lets take the next step. Some moments later ... We have our list of about 70 books well-thought out and waiting on hold at our Amazon wish list. We’ve looked at the list once again and have placed an email with one of our most trusted friends holding knowledge in the field of psychology. We figure our collection is in greater half defined around education concepts of teaching adults with developmental disabilities (DD) and the structure of being a general mid-level practitioner in the field. There was a facet played out in some popular "business-orientated" books for their practicality in management ideals. I think it is important to draw out the fact that people with DD and their staff are by innature,in need of following common structures.

The next level of books are in the fields of history, philosophy and psychology. This part makes us smile, a lot! Somewhere along the line, we’ve picked up the inclination to believe that how the mind, and in particular, the great minds through civilization have been at play is extremely important to the minds of folks in general, including those who find themselves with DD. We are not talking of memorizing details which confuse the best of us, but in the processes of feeling ourselves as live to our selves and significant to life and our place in history. Moreso, in that most of these folks will not live it through the procreation of children. I think we all need to sometimes step back and examine our direction, because without direction we tend to follow the story line of television sit-coms. I’m pretty serious in this thought.

If along the day, we are able to question a staff or client in saying of what reason have you given yourself for waking up each morning? What is your part in the play of life? I will have thought our day accomplished. For me, and us ... our professional role is leaning us in the direction of a teacher. We know that individuals come to our center and some of them, are assisted in becoming capable workers. But, what of the individuals who have to be told to sit down or stand up or that it is polite to take turns? We must be as concerned about their lives directly, or indirectly as any presidential candidate on a platform.

In general, I think our Center specifically teaches individuals to become more independent and out in the community, but it is still going to be as important to help them think through their roles as more significant than purchasers of services, food, and entertainment. I’d like for them to think conscientiously "what that is all about" and to be making choices that mean something to them other than "it feels good." Rather than focus on when I’m out of control emotionally at the age of 44, I am told to go to my bedroom, to think I go to my bedroom with purpose and I’m IN control within the freedom of my own space? What shall I do or think? How do I best channel my abilities to contribute to myself or others. How is it that I will "tune in."

Shoot, shoot, getting down off my soap box now. I’m sorry. It’s just that ever since I’ve been home, most of this week, I have not given much thought to my work. And now, it is coming back to me somewhat in that I have choices to make that will affect my course in life history. Am I ready, willing, and able to take the next step?

*Sigh* ok, ok ... next step. I will wait for that one last communication, then I will move forward on that note. Next decision that has to be made ... creature comforts.

As many of you know, I’ve done research on a few items, primarily living room pieces that will change the way I live and think about my immediate surroundings, especially since I spend 92% of my time in the living room where the computer is. We’re in bodily age 44, coming up quickly on 45 and have never bought living room items for myself. We’ve gotten the okie dokie from our doc, best computer friends, son and home friend. Pretty big deal to us, but has also been put off for a week or two. It’s time to make a few decisions in this direction.

The one thing that has held us up is in thinking that we should save this money for the purchase of a car later down the road. But, the fact of the matter is that when we checked on that with even 50% down, we were not able to afford the payments on the car we really liked and thought we deserved.

I just can’t see losing all the money on one item that is going to drive us into monthly debt. Maybe common sense would tell us that we should still do it and continue to save, but there are other needs to consider. There was another option in getting less expensive items for what we wanted to purchase. But, that didn’t sit well with us either. The one time in our life that we are going to purchase new, I didn’t want to accept the huge divide in what we saw as far 1rst and 2nd best.

Some day, we will need a new car I suppose, but we’re going to bank on the part where our car is only at 72,000 miles and has good tires. Maybe we’ll get 3-4 more years from her. At that time, we’ll just have to figure on doing it like everyone else. Put down some money and finance the best we can. Most likely the car we were looking at is way past our real budget anyway. When the time comes, we’ll make a more reasonable choice within our means. *Sigh*

Single people’s incomes are yuch!

Hmm, I didn’t know that ... I just found out that my bank card has a $3,000 limit/day on it. Shoot, and we were on a spending spree too! Ahh well, it did do one thing ... gave us another chance to look over the finances. I ran the "big" account down with the costs of all the things I want to purchase and it came out ... thereis still money in the bank :) Then we went through our account and added up the cost of everything we need to pay each month. AND, it turns out we’ve a little allowance :)

My friend called too, so that was handy. We went over it out loud one more time, and I THINK I have enough to pay for minimal housekeeping services :) We’re talking not too expensive stuff, but like 5 hours every other week. Besides the fact that I’m not inclined toward housework, point still lies clear that I can’t stand up or walk for more than 5-7 minutes due to spinal arthritis. It’s one of the reasons that I spend so much of my time logged onto this computer.

I figure if I can keep up with the few dishes, picking up and kitty litter, maybe she can do the rest. I know most often what’s been happening is my friend will come in and help when the carpet or floors get too far gone. Things like dusting don’t happen at all. I feel terrible in wasting his busy schedule in making sure things get taken care of. Leaves me feeling pretty helpless. I’d feel much more comfortable paying for the help.

You know ... part and parcel, I think that’s the main thing I’m going for right now. I want to live in a life style that I feel comfortable in. I know most of my friends are computer friends. But, I’d like it to be where I feel comfortable in bringing my granddaughter over without embarrassment. I know 3 year olds are too young too be judgmental, but I have my ideals with what kind of world I would like to share with her.

There’s still one huge deficit that I’m living ... we’ve pulled our "thing" together as far as food goes (healthy life style for a diabetic), but we still have to deal with our smoking. What’s the use of having beautiful couches, drapes, and bookshelves if we’re going to inundate them with lousy odors? Plus, it is no small matter that we are putting out nearly $200 month expense. In reality, I am putting into the atmosphere money I should be setting aside for a future car.

If I quit smoking and started saving the smoke money, in 3 years time I could have minimally, at least $7,200 to put down on a new vehicle ... without cramping our style! Oh, please keep our mind positive on this one! I don’t think the couch is going to get here much sooner than one month from now. Puts us at the first or second week of August. Truly this is the only money that I’m spending on luxury that isn’t reasonable. My other extra luxuries are really the costof maintaining my presence on the computer and the cost of my reading. I consider both of those well worthy expenses that suit my life and life style ... I don’t think I’ve ever really had need for much more than those two items, nor will I ever.

I say that while still lighting up another cigarette. Shoot, how am I going to do this?? I’ve been a smoker for almost 25 years now. No, I won’t do the math on that expense. Oh man oh man ... I couldn’t help myself. If the cost of smoking had always been $200 a month, the cost of an adulthood worth of smoking thus far would have run me a waste of $60,000. Oh man oh man, that makes me want to cry. I’ve got no one though to shoot, beside myself.

Ok, ok ... we’re going to be positive here. Hmm, its half way through the day and I still haven’t had lunch. That would be something to look forward too. Might explain the dizziness I’m feeling too. Hmm. Go figure. Maybe a yogurt is in order. Yep, yep ... this be the good part of light. You know ... I’ve never eaten a low-fat yogurt where I didn’t feel like I wasn’t doing something good for myself :) AND, it pleases us more than ice cream at this point! That’s something to vote for, right?

Maybe, somebody could spend time figuring out the stop-smoking thing with Dr. M tomorrow and spend less time being angry at him? Hmm, works for me! Ok, ok ... let’s get on with it then! :)