Whole long entry coming ... Wrote off-line ... Internet at Home was Down :(

  Mornin ... Think so at least ... How are you all?  We’re pretty grumbly.  After a 25 minute wait, my cable company informed me that there was an outage in my city.  I informed them that I had things to be doing on my computer that were important to be doing this morning.  They informed me that they were sorry.  Then there was a sort of low growl that came out of us sounding something like, “FINE!”  

Now ....   Hmm ... cable Gods must have been listening ... she’s up again!  Ok, brb ... need to take care of some mail first :)   Shoot, spoke to soon ... she was only up about 4 minutes ... be patient, right?   *Sigh*   Hmm, c’mon baby ... there’s two  of the five lights blinking now ... now one.  She’s teasing me ... ok two again ... you know I love you baby ... shoot all five lights on then back to one.  Did I tell you we’ve been up waiting for an hour and 15 minutes already?  Think we’re being very patient.   Hmm, could have been worse.  I could have had Pam’s problem ... She’s now up to computer Goddess in my book!   Now two lights ... shoot she’s just flickering with low life ... she goes up to 5 lights then crashes back to the one light.  3:45 am

Yes, something else to be doing with my life at this time of the morning.    We had a rough night’s sleep ... I know that we’re going to have to get rid of our old couch before the new one comes in, so we made an attempt to sleep in our bedroom.  Woke up very dehydrated, especially mouth and throat.  I think its due to funny breathing at night when our head isn’t up so high as when resting on the arm of the couch.  One doctor told us we had sleep apnea, but he never ran tests, or told me that I should change my life or anything.  So, he gets written off as a crack pot...  

Hmm, that’s right we’ve gotten a fruit package for our birthday maybe that would help.  Hold on.  Mmm banana and a peach ... that doesn’t happen every morning :) Ahh, that was good ... first ripe peach I’ve eaten all year.  The ones I’d ordered (twice) were hard and tasteless.  Just a loose question here, but do other people have trouble with peaches dripping on them?  Just me?  Shoot.  

You know ... the cable lady said I had a credit of over $200 in my account.  How’d you suppose that happened?  Hmm?   Eh, another unsolved mystery.  We’ll ask our son ... He seems to know all kinds of stuff!  

Let’s see ... how was my day yesterday?  Umm, fine, I guess.  What do I remember that’s more important than waiting patiently for the return of the cable service?    No meetings yesterday ... that was nice.  There was one small occasion where Sr. came into the office and was wondering why I wasn’t working on staff training.  It may seem lame, but we admitted to her, we just forgot!  Eh, she needed a reason to lecture me on something.  “Yes ma’am, yes ma’am, right away ... I’m on top of it!”

Yep, yep ... it was that kind of day.  It took longer than I’d hoped.  I think I’m fighting my own negativity with this one.  She claims she isn’t going to say anything at “MY” staff meeting today, but that is hardly possible we’re guessing.  Really, really bummed about this, because the staff usually choose not to talk when they know she is going to zap them at any moment for having a thought that is different than her own.  Trying to be optimistic, but it is hard.  

As far as the actual meeting goes ... think the content is good.  I, of course, wrote up a summary of the last meeting.  Then I drew out their conclusions in a flow chart (have a computer program)  I wanted them to be real clear.  Then I posed their test question to fill in 10 blanks that I left on the flowchart.  Basically, for five clients ... they have to come up with two more reasons for behavior problems.    Then there will be a short 5-6 minute presentation on how to present themselves at a staffing.  Sr. is very displeased with them here.  Thinking she is going to take over as soon as the subject is introduced.  She’s been particularly crabby of late and will have something to say.   

Next is the Positive Behavioral Intervention.  There are three questions I will ask them to think about, then if there is any time left, I will demonstrate how to approach a case review of one of the individual’s.  I chose the most complicated client we have.  I hope to encourage them to do a little research before they come to the QMRP, or at minimum bring in a notepad to take NOTES!   

We seem more and more to dislike their approach to this too.  They usually come in with hands thrown up in the air, complaining loudly how terrible the client is ... They are pretty invested emotionally.  They think in terms of “so and so isn’t listening to me!”  They could say, “so and so is having difficulty concentrating” and leave there weakened ego’s out of it.    My thought is if the individual is having difficulty concentrating, then your lesson might be adapted to giving assistance in that effort.  Like if you are in the middle of a social skills lesson ... maybe interrupt the goofy lecture and let the individual’s practice relating step by step ... But, try and figure out what is distracting the individual first.  Like did you allow her to keep a doodle pad in front of her where she is drawing hearts to her boyfriend??  Is she tormenting one of her peers?  Maybe you could all talk about ways to relate to a loved one? 

Something needs to change to regain the individual’s attention ... The lesson has to be relevant to their lives.  Not them relevant to OUR lives, especially of the discipline of sitting still or as the DSPs are fond of saying, “Cooperate.”   *Sigh* I know ... always on a soap box...  

Thing is ... in the approach I’m trying to teach them ... there are many variables as to why a person is having difficulty following along.  To start with ... they are all not alike.  They don’t enter the room every day with all facilities at hand.  Their thoughts are interrupted by a thousand things to be doing.    Such as ... the client I will bring up today, begins each day with the fact he has a diagnosis of being schizoaffective.  I know very little of the disorder, but I know where to get information. 

Well, that is IF I were to have cable service ...  The major points are that his thoughts, moods, and emotions are going to be at a different level.   

This particular client holds a belief that people are intruding in his thoughts or are talking/thinking about him.  He’s pretty sensitive and defensive then of people looking at him.  So, when you are running a class where another individual continues to knock on the table or be whispering to their peers while looking in his direction.  The first individual is likely to become upset.  Happens all the time.   

The individual also displays a manic side, especially in rapid thoughts/speech that is pretty irrelevant to the rest of the world. Like he could be wondering if you want to see the plastic spider he keeps in his pocket, or is in need of a reminder that we are off Saturdays and Sundays.  He asks the same questions over and over again, UNLESS someone challenges him to a new thought.   

AND, if you ignore this person, he is not going to be better!  One of the problems is that due to the angry outbursts, this individual has very few friends and even staff put him off.  Sometimes the best thing to do is just to talk to him for a moment.    

When we are working with him, we assist him in being able to self control.  He may not be able to stop being paranoid, but he is able to get up and clear his head out in the courtyard when the noise is too much in the room.  He needs to foresee when the problems are starting to elevate ... and the staff needs to be aware of this too, so she can cue the individual to rest or relax by a different means available to him.  A lot of “behavior control” at the level of our Center is to just manipulate the environment.

I know that if a person’s medication is off, the individual is going to have a devil of a time reacting responsibly, but other than requests and demands that a parent comply to check-ups with a psychiatrist ... we still have to do the best that we can be doing in whichever state he appears.    Until, Sr. says enough is enough ... we have to be able to learn from the set of behaviors he displays and help him establish personal boundaries.  Such as ... he may be angry, but it is not an option to slam his hand against a door or throw a basketball against the ceiling.  He needs to develop other appropriate thought patterns ...  Such as ... before I get furious, I’ll let people know verbally what my needs are.  “I need help.  I feel restless and don’t know what to do.”  Of course, I see no reason a staff shouldn’t be able to pick up on this too alongside the individual.  

Sorry ... sorry ... ‘nother soap box.     

Short story made long ... that’s where we are at right now in our thoughts of the staff meeting.  I figure there is too much loaded into the plan today, but I have to be prepared for a lot of staff that aren’t going to feel like talking due to the Sr. being at the meeting.  Not sure too whether or not we are going to have the two new staff at this meeting ...  

Oh man-o-man ... we forgot!  And, there is another meeting today.  I forgot the Behavior-Human Rights meeting will bethis morning.  Shoot, shoot ... did I complete the minutes last time?  Better check that out right away.  Sister should let us know right away this morning which clients she expects us to present.   I do much better at these meetings without the other Q present.  Because between her and the Sr. they just want to complain about behaviors.  They play a game of one upmanship. *Sigh* Tough meeting to sit through.  No boundaries or respect for one another.  So, most the time we sit very quietly taking minutes and don’t say much.  If I have a direct thought or question I ask specifically of the psychiatrist that is present.  And, disregard the others’ fluttering.   I think it is hard dealing with others behaviors ...

I know I complained about the DSPs getting emotionally involved, so I have to check myself at the door too.  Its easier for me to cope with the clients than it is for me to deal with staff and administrator.  I figure that these people should be in control of their own behavior.  The general rule of thumb is that, “If you don’t control your behavior, I will have to step in and help you with it.  Sr. Tess is the worse.  She spends most of her time “out of control” and defensive.  She isn’t able to tolerate peoples differences well.  

We think she can spot some of her own behavior problems, because when someone is newly hired and in her presence ... she maintains a happier demur.  Only though until the person is acclimated.  Then she will treat the new person like everyone else.  I used to think she could control her self with visitors.  But, I know that she doesn’t hold back at the Behavior meeting and I know she certainly didn’t hold back on the last CARF inspection.   

*Sigh* Let’s make a new resolution for the day ... Whatever Sr. or the other staff do today, I am only going to respond objectively.  This means, not detached, but as the role of an observer and then when called, as an interpreter.  Ahh, then too ... we have Dr. M. this afternoon!!  Pretty good, pretty good.  That will give us an opportunity to discuss progress, or more likely how to better progress.  This always makes me happy.  He’s always so reasonable!  

Think the last meeting we had with him was very good.  We’d gone over some of the birthday things ... and then after just a few minutes of other general stuff, we talked primarily of the what was happening with our mind in having been able to introduce so many journals to it. 

I really wish I could have spent time with the project this morning.  I had wanted to first complete emailing thanks you’s out due to the new responses and I’d wanted to finish entering in the data that I’m being forwarded by Kathy and Debbie.  Think we’re only 20-30 away from completing that portion of the project.    Today is the day I have scheduled to start sending out the last couple hundred emails.  We got a very good response with the second set we’d sent out ... Of the 80 about half responded positively.  Since there won’t be time to set out a second mailing on this new batch ... we are going to try doing something new to it.  We found a very good response when we addressed the subject of the email to include the journalist’s journal name along with “Hall of Fame.”  Seems knowing it is something about their journal, people are opening up the email and responding positively.   

Celebration starts now only one week away!!  Please if you are reading this ... encourage Viv to get to bed earlier than 1 AM.  Hmm, shoot, shoot ... just thinking ... this computer doesn’t have a 3.5 floppy disk drive.  I’m going to have to wait until after work and Dr. M. to get it into my journal. *Sigh* spose there is nothing to do on that note, unless I was to bring the computer to work.  Hmm ... nah.  We’re going to need trust that the cable service really would rather have me connected and is working hard right now to please us.  Though I have a sinking feeling someone’s waiting for parts, or has run out to grab a donut!  

Shoot ... maybe Vince is on line right now wondering if we’re ok.  He’s likely to make the observation that we ALWAYS sign on first thing of the day.  We’ve no doubt that he’ll figure out it’s a technical problem, but a girl wants to believe she’d be missed! Same with Viv ... she won’t know where we are, or Pam, or nobody... Even Floralilia might wonder!  Ok, ok ... we recognize signs of panic are starting to set in. 

By the way ... if you are out there you should know we’re voting for Viv, Vince AND Floralilia!  We feel bad that Floralilia is getting a pretty hard shake down ... Doesn’t seem fair that an election should go to a journalist who is just out there to “WIN” at any cost.  Seems greedy more than principled.    Ok, that was my two cents in that direction!  

Cable God, are you out there??  We’re getting on our figurative knees now ... Please fix the cable!  Dementia is starting to set in.  I feel cut-off ... on a deserted island amidst tropical fruits ... well, yes they are tasty, but still cut-off from the world. 

I’d promise my first born son ... but, he’s already out on his own ... They’ll do that to you!   Ok, ok ... I promise to be good.  I’ll empty the mailbox for our poor mailman more often.  I will clean dishes too.  I will pray more often and take down trash twice a week.  Hmm, feeling desperation now ... I think I’m going to take a shower half hour early and then go to work.  There is a computer there.  I shall have my way with you cable people.  I shall!