Ok, We're trying again...

We figure that no matter what ...
that we’re going to write in our journal this morning. Not because we have to, but because we want to so badly. We sometimes get to feeling what we are thinking about is not so important, but in the process we’re losing a sense of ourselves that has been very important to us. I couldn’t tell you most of what happened this week, or any given week because we don’t remember. This feels like a terrible loss of ourselves. So for better or worse ... we’re going to try writing every day again.
One of the things we’ve focused on this week ...
has been Dr. M. He was gone the week before so we’re trying to catch up our sense of him. It’s the inner kind of sense that allows you to believe that everything is in place as it ought to be. In the process, we’ve decided that we’re pretty much in love with our therapist. Not as much physically although we find him very attractive in a younger male manner, more so through the heart from which would allow us to close our eyes and still feel how he fills the room with presence and understanding. We’re having a little difficulty thinking through many hours of the day without him being brought back to mind. *Sigh* I s’pose there are practical reasons for this? Thank God its common practice to fall for one’s therapist. *Appreciating smile!* Another thing we’ve focused on this week ... Somewhere about Tuesday we were introduced to a radio program out of Philly through V. This has been a very substantial turning of events. The program lasted from Monday 6 am to Friday about 6 pm. They had an 885 top songs count down. Most of it was rock, but then there were some others ... pretty much the kind of stuff that was playing during our teenage/college years. The top artist ... hehe ... was a Philly-based upset of Bruce Springsteen over the Beatles and Rolling Stones. Shoot it sure was good.  Thing was ... a lot of the music I was hearing was for the first time. I’d missed a big portion of what was going on during my own teen/young adult era. It was the gain I was feeling this week that mattered most. Like opening a door to a treasure chest of sparkling jewels. AND, as some of one of these tracks were playing, I had a memory of something forgotten for about twenty years. He’d been blocked from my memory all these years. The artist is Shawn Phillips. If you have some patience feel welcomed to listen to some of his newer songs, though I’ve more a heart for some of the old ... Just brings tears to have recovered this part of us.

Shawn's song #1 - Click here  Calico Rainbows
Shawn's song #2 - Click here  Fondest Dreams
Shawn's song #3 - Click here  Free Samples
Shawn's song #4 - Click here  I Will Never Leave
Shawn's song #5 - Click here  Lost and Lonely
The afternoon has past ...
and we metamorphosed into another track ... twofold. The first was that we were paying attention to opera ... yes, I know folk to opera being pretty dramatically different. We’re blaming all our tumultuousness on Vince ... yes, you heard it here. He’s terrible. We get to studying one aspect and then all of a sudden there is all this other. Let us skip to the finale ... the painter gets killed by the firing squad and his lover commits suicide because she had thought his death was only going to be falsely arranged to look like death. She obviously was devastated.  But yet we perservered down this rocky road. We’ve listened aimlessly to an additional two hours of a pledge drive for V’s Philly PBS station. Mind you the two hosts and their musical choices were delightful! The older woman had such a nice light-hearted laugh and she knew her music! The male ... the perfect muse. Umm, no I didn’t contribute. This is why bank cards get left down stairs, locked in the car!
The second fold ...
we’re still having that little trouble with the psychiatrist issue.  Boundaries are being crossed. Someone shoot me! My heart is going to break.  I thought we were through our pining years. We’ve gone the majority of five plus years without passing through this stage. We’ve got a terrible, terrible case of love struck. Definitely a October/May romance ... and one that’s destined to be one-sided. Yes ... we’re pretty sure he’s taken and has no use for an older-unattractive-overweight ... well,actually the list goes on and on ... See, that’s the shame! It’s not one of those things that can ever be consummated. Maybe though that’s the horror/delight ... Hmm ... Settle down girls ... It’s just that our mind continues playing games, regardless.  For the lay person ... this is what is meant as we're slipping into psychosis. Totally abridged from reality. Someone please douse me in a cold stream of water.  Make that a Margarita.  ARGH!
Oh Lordy ... Now it's Jazz!  What next?  Oh my God ... I'm having a midlife crisis aren't I???