We were just playing a little with Gentle Brook. At 3:30 in the morning, we were sharing pictures of her childhood. We loved looking at them and trying to figure out what all was happening with the picture clues. We felt very protective of her ... does anyone raise "a kid" just right, especially your own kids?
Over the last 12 hours we started to figure how important it is to us that we maintain a sense of happiness. Sometimes to our detriment. Not usually at work - because there we most often get to feel happy by doing good work. But, at home?
Being on your own leads to having a lot of self time choices. But rather than taking care of bodily needs like of having food, drink, and a roof over our head, we dissociate. Then, we seem to resent and act out poor responses to our choice of "baselessness."
We dissociate a lot. Literal self-maintenance tasks such as dishes and bills rarely make our priority list. Besides sleeping and eating and using the bathroom, it is unusual for us to be away from the computer. It would mean to us unhappiness.
We've become very helpless. Last night, Forest Path brought this to our attention which resulted in a big loud “thud.” Typical to form, we cried and cried. Btw, our apologies go out to Forest Path this morning. Helpless people are dependent people and they make the load heavier for people who try to care.
We’re wondering now … helplessness seems to be how we felt in the past and we seem now to be maintaining it. Maybe it is important to figure out how to live in the present?
On Monday with Dr. M., we had discussed how important it is that someone talk to us. The realization that we COULD do this with him lead us though to feelings of fear and pain..
Hmm, Gentle Brook just showed us you could mezmerize your Super Buddy Icon! Oh man! She sent us a rainbow!
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