Mothering

This morning, we were going over some old psychology lessons. We’re still trying to figure out what is the best "mother" response to the boys discussions yesterday afternoon.

For the record, I don’t usually talk directly to or of my ex-family of past. Nor, for that matter do I talk directly much to my own family of past. The only family members I talk to are our three boys. The three boys also don’t associate with my family of origin, but they are in constant touch with their father and his side of the family.

My youngest son is a sophomore college student and a State University an hour away from where I live. My middle son lives in a very large house in the same neighborhood as his father 25 minutes away from us. This son is independently very wealthy and is the primary support for his younger brother’s college education. When the youngest son is not in school, he lives and plays (computer games) with my middle son and their cousins.

My oldest son lives 20 minutes away with his wife and child in their small condominium. This son makes a normal amount of money, maybe slightly higher than average for his age, but it is less than 4% of what the middle brother earns. Both the oldest and middle son work in the same financial institution as their father, their two uncles, and a couple of their best friends. All of these people put together don’t make as much money as my middle son. Out of all these people our income is about 38% less then the "poorest" of these others.

Imagine if you will, the family dynamics of this scenario. To some degree the five plus people and their friends all are very intertwined with each other’s finances. Each are very intelligent and know from hour to hour how the other(s) are doing. But, due to ability, my middle son is the only one with a private office with window and he is the one that does the hiring and firing. When he enters the workplace, out of respect, they all alter their conversations to fit his mood. But, he is only 21.

But, then I hear my sons have or are feeling depression?  The theories I was going over this morning lead me to "learned helplessness" and "attribution." Not much more time this morning, but I’ll go to work thinking of how around my middle son, there are a lot of people including myself acting very suddenly more helpless and how this might be affecting him. *Sigh* Lots more work ahead though we're thinking at this point, attribution is key.