Best Foot Forward

Good Morning ... I want to say sorry for the entry the day before. We were angry and didn’t know what to do with it. Things have calmed down now. This is not to say we aren’t going to get angry somewhere down the lane. We’re trying to take care of the feelings from our different parts as they occur. The anger was real. It’s just that it may be bothersome for those who don’t know us and stop by thinking its going to be another casual read. I think it comes down to abandonment issues on this one. Being left out of the holidays and facing childhood monsters combined past hurts with present. The biggest difference this time is that in reality we’re not as alone as we once were. True people weren’t immediately available, BUT they were just around the corner. Instead of trusting that, we further isolated ourselves. It happens very quickly and is then soon assuaged. But, in the process we reach very low lows. I think it is going to be ok in as far as it will become a discussion between us and Dr. M. and we’ll try to progress it from there.

I don’t know where that leaves me today ... During the process yesterday, we received an email from our doctor. One of his suggestions was to be around people both 3D and computer if we can. So, we’re going to put on our best face and best foot forward and involve ourselves in the community today and tomorrow. Once out there it is a joy to meeting new faces. I can’t do anything in regard to the boys. They’ll either arrange time to be with us or not. I have to get over my own personal embarrassment for having such a huge temper tantrum the day before. That is what it feels like this morning. We need to recapture the sense that emotions are ok, but don’t need to be run up the flag pole. We’ve never deleted an entry made by any of the various parts, because we feel they are all important to the whole of our functioning. We apologize though for how strange we must seem. Ok ok ... that’s enough of this ... time to move on.

So ... we finished up the turkey that our friend ... brought over and cooked a week ago. We’ve eaten from it all week and have to admit, we’re ready for something else. The next step is to take delight in one of the last fruit cups. This one being a juicy pineapple. This is the good stuff in life. Pre-cut pieces of chilled fruit, especially first thing in the morning when we’re feeling a little dehydrated. Our friend came over in the afternoon and stayed for about four hours. Not all of that was pleasant, but we’d at least gotten to only pouting and were willing to get over that as well. Believe me ... this friend is not only well versed, but very patient with us. It’s gotten to be a process of trusting the situation enough to get to the hug part. Usually then, there are tears that are hugged away and we start to smile again. As soon as the first smile is reached the rest comes back very positively without much time lost. So there was a little playing and then a pizza shared. *Silly grin* Can’t go wrong there!

After that we fiddled around with this and that and finally got to the part of settling down on the couch for a movie at 7 pm. I can’t say we were awake for all of it, but we caught the beginning and the end. It was an Adam Sandler movie where he had received like 40 billion dollars from a deceased uncle. It was as light as seemed to be needed. AND, we slept in this morning to just before 5 am. That’s pretty good for us! :)

So, being the new day AND two more full days before the vacation is over, we plan to as we stated before enjoy our journal world. In the fiddling around last night, we randomly chose a couple of new journals to us to read through. One was from an older male who wrote love poetry to his wife of 20 years. That took us by surprise and delight! I think I’ll always find the process of reading new journals and journals from a few faithful writers we’ve come to know as a very amazing process. We need to sometimes step outside our shell to note how many wonderful people there really are in this world. Would like to find more people I would enjoy visiting more regularly. This last couple of weeks we’ve enjoyed keeping "caught-up" a little better.

With this thought in mind, we’re going to start early and get out on the trek. Couldn’t tell you what we look for until we’ve found it, and we can’t do that as long as we remain planted in just our own little world. For any of you that chance visit to see whose commenting. Thanks for stopping by. It’s not that a few words from myself is as important as the fact opportunity has arisen for us to per chance meet this fine day. Hurrah!!