The popular opinion "out there" is that if you find something sexually offensive you should just not look at it. Turn away. The arguments offered are similar to "there is so much out there that is worse on the Internet and life in general, what harm is it if one more person is doing it?
As a sexual abuse survivor, we'd been taught how to "turn away." During our early childhood, "turning away" was a means of survival. Above all ... we were taught to "not tell." This wouldn't be good for our sexual assailant. Now, we wonder about our "Victim mentality."
We're trying to convey to our younger parts that if something is wrong they should tell an authority person. In the situation of graphic sexuality found in the journal community, AOL is the proper authority. And, because us as older parts are an authority over our personhood, we're now taking care of our own.
Another popular opinion is that what one person does, doesn't affect anyone else. And if someone is acting out sexually, it is only their business. We believe that people in general affect one another. This is the nature of social caring. Our world changes as our illusions of an idealistic journal community have been spent. The line drawn, perhaps in sand. The dominance of sexual force prevail?
We know that sex in an adult relationship with a consenting adult is acceptable. But, we do not want to watch it. When it is made public, no consents are asked. Personally, we don't want to know who is doing what to whom and how that all happens. We've learned to not go out often to see movies, we don't watch tv or radio. We took a job where it wasn't likely we'd be over-exposed and rarely will we be found in public unchaperoned.
One person cannot be directly responsible for the bad affect sexuality sometimes has against us. We are responsible. But, things feel just a little more difficult and less safe. The walls feel as if they are closing in. We ask, How much are we expected to withdraw? Do we maintain our right to protest? What do we tell our younger parts about freedom? What will you tell your little girl?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
11 comments:
The only way the permisiveness of todays American society will change is if many more people express their outrage and concerns in public. I find no reason to graphically describe a private act of sex. I also don't understand the use of "blue words" in every sentance of a written or oral statement. I'm glad you expressed our beliefs for us. My Regards, Bill.
it's not so much that you are expected to withdrawl. it's just that a journal is for a person's feelings, thoughts, actions, etc. i have read the journal in question from beginning to end. she doesn't describe in graphic detail about her sexual life. her writing is beautiful, almost like that you would find in a romance novel. i've read romance novels that are far more graphic. it is about freedom, it's her freedom of expression. just as it's your freedom to choose not to read it.
Ayn,I`m proud of your presentation. You couldn`t be more clear about your feelings and some of the crucial reasons for them. Which is all that we can ask from ourselves. etal, Brava,Bravo,Brava!!!
Vince
cont~ ppl speak of all kinds of issues in journals that could be taken as offensive, ppl speak of abortions, politics, bashing the president, gays, drugs, death, ocd, bipolar disorders, mutiple personalities, the list goes on & on. so to say one journal is wrong b/c it offends you is to say all journals are wrong that speak of life. as i've said, there are horrible things that go on through the internet. life is graphic. from tv, to radio's, to novels....life is graphic.
cont~ i'm trying really hard to understand your point of view. but the journal we are speaking of is not dirty or pornographic. aol would have to censor every journal on here from the cussing to the talks of politics to the talks of abortions. that's the great thing about this world. ppl do have different opinions & different ways of expressing themselves. ppl have a right to speak of sex in their journals just as you & i have the right to not read something we find offensive.
cont. it would be different if she was slandering someone's good name, or directing her words toward a certain person with the intent to hurt them. if she was invading on someone's rights or speaking of sexual abuse in an offensive manner. but she's not. she's simply writing of a potential affair and her feelings of love toward this man. she's not being dirty about it. her words & writing are beautiful. i'm sorry you see it as something that should be covered up. take care.
This journal you speak of is full of honest feelings. If it bothers you to read it, then I advise you not to. A person has an right to express whatever he or she wants in a journal; it belongs to them. If it is affecting you, then change your actions, but don't complain about one's thoughts. Kelly
Ayn,
You are the best! You have my support. You have my respect. You have my love. Tough issues and I am glad you have made your views known.
Keep on being you :-)
Knowing your past I can understand how the issue of writing about sexuality can be bothersome to you. I personally do not have a problem with this. It is true that AOL is the final authority, but I don't know that they will censure this person, considering that she is not soliciting money or attention to what she writes. There are many things we may find undesirable in the world, but it's a judgment call. In the end, we can only control our response.
I think if you've seen something in the AOL-J community that you clearly think violates TOS, then you have every right to report it. The problem is that what you find inappropriate or obscene and what others think fits the description may vary vastly. But this is why it's important for parents to pay attention to what their kids see on the internet. I'm sorry you've been subjected to something in our community that has disturbed you, Ayn. :(
i'd tell my little girl, that i am sorry she had to see that. that, it wasn't meant for small eyes..and maybe from now on, she should cover her eyes, till i tell her it's okay. maybe too, i would practice clicking off the site faster (like i do with the remote control and tv).
Post a Comment