Yesterday afternoon, there’d been another incident with lovey dovey stuff in back of the van. The girl involved is the more able of the two so was the first one we spoke with. The talk was going pretty good. We had reiterated the no touch rule and we talked instead of how she could present to her sister (guardian) about needing a social life at home where she can invite others over or go out.
We felt sympathetic toward her as most we talk to, because it is very common for the families to seem overwhelmed and most often they do not help the individuals build equal relationships with friends.
Thing is ... this individual was doing fine, but then she started telling this story as if it were as true as having cereal and milk that morning for breakfast. She said that she’d gone out bowling every night with her male friend, and then she named about 5-6 other individuals at the center who’d gone with. She said they are out until midnight, get a ride in a limousine, and the limousine comes from the hotel they’ve been staying at.
I must of looked doubtful because she asked, "You don’t believe me do you?" When I said, "no, but I can tell you do believe it," she just went on to defend her "story."
We have a pretty close relationship with our clients and it is rare that we hear this kind of tale. There was one story of a girl flying overnight to New York. Both girls live in poverty. Its not about lying ... it seems more a matter of wanting the stories to be true that reality is extended. I told this one we’d talk about it again, but I wanted to give us both a chance to think it through.
I talked to a couple of other staff. It had alluded one of them, but the other confirmed, "Oh yes, I heard them talking about this since the beginning of the week."
The thing that bothers me is that I'm guessing, they are feeling so confined romantically between the Center and at home, they’ve taken imaginatively to a counter world. Escape is something we all do, but not knowing the difference between what’s real and not real, may be more of a problem.
My friend golfs and fishes, but he knows he’s golfing and fishing. He will though refer to "the one that got away." I don't know ... Any thoughts?
Picture - http://www.extravaganzalimousine.com/
3 comments:
Hi Ayn, sorry benn gone so long. Wrote about it in my journal, but while I am able to be up for a short time had to read your journal tonight, and must also go to Deabvt(is that the name , have it in my gavorites. Anyway, tellfriend who golfs and fishes to read my One That Got Away. Hope you are well. Will think on this queation and if I think of anything helpful will email you. Love, Sandy.
People who make up things about their lives are *missing* something in their lives. It's easier sometimes to make believe that your life is glamourous and interesting than it is to recognize that your life is simple and plain. One should be reminded of all the glamourous and interesting things that can be found in a simple and plain life, I think. :)
People who make up stories try to build imaginary worlds that fill the void they have in their real lives. I guess fantasizing to a certain extent is okay, I think we all do that to different degrees. But when fantasy and reality blurs, that might be a problem that needs to be addressed early. After all, we do live in reality, even though it doesn't hold up to the perfect dream worlds we conjure in our minds.
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