Another Fine Day

Morning, morning ... We’re up early this morning ... something about someone’s cat. Hmm. We were having the nicest dream. We’d just discovered and thought we could somehow market the fact that one could cuddle into one’s soft downy blanket as a pillow and be ever so contented. Ahh, the comforting bliss ... but, I suppose that will have to keep for a while. Please keep quiet about this until we can manage a patent!

Sooo... how is it going? Been a couple of days since we’ve written. We’d stayed up the night before last, because first our friend had come over after work, and then I had to make a stop over at my son’s place. That was so funny. Apparently, someone’s granddaughter hadn’t caught on to the idea of going to bed yet and she was perfectly delighted to find that her Grandma Ann was coming over to visit. Alas, we knew it had to be a short trip. Poor girl. It sounded like this, "Grandma Ann, please read me a book? Pleeeeease read me? Grandma Ann, won’t you please read me a book?" No one had to tell Grandma Ann that someone’s Daddy was real not pleased about this idea. So, we compromised. We agreed to read just one page. Shoot, the tension in the air between father and daughter was terrible. Fortunately, Daddy’s patience prevailed. And, dear little one agreed to run into the bedroom and jump into bed, because in so doing she would get a Grandma kiss. Man-o-man isn’t that just the sweetest deal! Made me feel important!! It had seemed that all life had lead to this moment. Sweet!

The friend deal wasn’t so smooth ... In this case, WE turn out to be like the little girl. Apparently, at the time, we hadn’t caught our second wind so there was tiredness in the system. The first obstacle was just getting out of the car and walking up the stairs. Our friend had gotten to our place about 3 minutes behind us. So, there was time downstairs, hmm deciding on what would happen next and what we were going to eat. We KNOW we’re much more social able after dinner then before, but one has to make the transition. Then there was a matter of our shower. We NEEDED to take a quick shower before calming down and our friend had said there was no time to take a shower. Man-o-man, did that not go over big. So, for the next half hour there was a tremendous amount of pouting from perhaps both camps. FINALLY, it was agreed that a quick shower could be expeditiously taken to resolve all the turmoil. Pshwoo, another tense situation. All ended well and both parties were satisfied with the evening there afterward.

One certain little kitty NEEDED a pet! How exactly does one meet all the demands of life ... hmm it’s a tangled mess that it is. Oh man ... is she being pathetic this morning. I think it has to do with shedding time. She needs a lot more petting than normal. We have her back on the high chair so at least she’ll stay in one place while being petted. Ahh, she’s settled for a view laying next to the computer monitor. Poor thing ... no shame in her asking.

The next event being mentioned ... Is that we had another appointment with Dr. M. There was more trouble there. Apparently, we’ve stepped into the danger zone again with a couple of us. I’m not sure all of what everything happened, but I know at the end we were being asked the safety questions. I guess now I’m feeling more as we are on alert again. I can’t explain why Annemarie is so depressed, but apparently last night she was making advances on one of the younger parts as an accomplice. That is soooo not a good idea, words could not describe. Trying to sit back here a moment to think things out a bit. Just where are we in this next ordeal. It’s like Annemarie isn’t overly concerned with the fact that most of our life is pretty ideal at this time. Nothing is perfect, of course. But, not a time to be messing up. Our closest thoughts as to why we might be having problems again is that we’re coming up to the holidays.

The holidays are looking better than not though in that ... we had a chance to talk to our youngest son yesterday. Apparently, he is goin to be in town and would accept an invite either before or after Thanksgiving Day. That day he still has reserved for his father and that side of the family. Every year it is the same. I’m my only family, but on the other side, there are Grandparents, Uncles, Aunts, and Cousins. Never was a fair competition. He said though maybe Friday or Saturday. We’ll have to see. Either would be fine. We’ll wait to see when the older sons get back from their travels to see if they are available. I’m pretty sure that the oldest will make some time ... be a blessing if the middle one would be available.

I think the holidays are hard on us ... because the family situation is so poor. Not every year do the boys make accommodations to spend time with us, particularly the middle son. As far as my family of past ... there is either no contact, or they are dead. Friends are usually with family. Most often holidays are spent very much alone. Very hard on us.

Otherwise, things are not so bad ... The rest of the discussion is work related. This week seems to have been one with a lot of client problems. Maybe they are feeling the pinch of the holidays too? The situation of the one girl who had stolen has improved. Her sister came in with a better disposition than she had had over the phone. It appears that she will be staying in the program and that her job is giving her another opportunity. I’m not sure how that is going to go, because Sr. Is still upset and at that this point not willing to bend over backward to keep the girl at the work program. I think some families take advantage of the situation of our organization making all the arrangements between individual and work. There has to be some return. It didn’t help that the girl had gone from one staff to another yesterday telling them that the Sr. Had been wrong and they did want her to come back to work. That kind of stuff just doesn’t fly.

News was good for one of the individuals this week and bad for another. There had been two new job interviews. One got the job, the other didn’t. It wasn’t the individuals fault that didn’t get the job. It turned out they wanted only help on evenings and weekends when we would not be available to help her. She’ll remain in line for the next position open. The other guy couldn’t be more happy. He is going to be a great employee if they can keep him busy. It’s another situation of getting a job at the grocers. We’ve got people at three different store types in this position. Seems as if people with mental retardation have made inroads into the position of bagger. It’s ok. I think the people in our work group should form their own union :)

The other situations have shown progress ... though not all in a positive direction. The one with the bad fits is now home for a couple of days with sickness and the one with the kissing motivation has been curbed. There is simple rule at the center. No touching! Not that this is widely accepted, but this is the rule that needs to be enforced. It’s not that we are against physical relationships ... just that it can’t happen at the work place and this has to be drilled into their heads for their own protection. We can’t have our clients out there being victimized by their peersor acquaintances. The situation with the girl who had the upset is in a precarious situation. She had upsets two days in a row where there was hitting others, pounding a wall and self hitting. This just doesn’t work at the center. Yesterday, before we left, we called to the girl’s home. I’ll have to present my findings today to the Sr. It’s not a very good situation. The mother talked about hitting at home. I asked if she at least had her own room, or if she had to sleep in the same room as the sister where most of the hitting is occurring. It turns out not only does she sleep with her sister, but the mother also shares the bedroom. To make it worse there is another son at home and the last son is going to be returning home to live. The apartment is very small and they are already on top of each other. Just not a good situation.

Yesterday, there was another meeting ... for staff training. Since the other QMRP is gone, Sr. Tess has to watch the group of clients as we do the staff training. But, since Sr. had some news to share with staff on the upcoming holiday (turns out someone is catering a meal for all), during her briefing, I had to stay outdoors with the clients. Been a while since I’ve watched them in during their leisure time. The courtyard is pretty big, but not huge. There’s a basketball hoop on one side, and on the other side are two sets of tables seating up to 12 people. Everyone else is sort of roaming. We have a new client now that has boundary problems where she grabs at people, pins them down in a choking hold, and steals others belongings. So, it appeared that most of the individuals have formed some kind of special relationship to her and its not all positive. So, we did all that and assured that people weren’t hanging on each other or hiding in between the parked cars. It was good for me to have gone through this experience, if only for 15 minutes.

During the training portion of the hour ... we had another session on abuse and neglect. The first part was on things to look out for, the second part was on situations where there was no apparent abuse, and the third part? Hmm, didn’t really get too much further than that. Seemed like in the short time available the staff wanted to talk about situations in and around the center that they’d questioned. It was a very good conversation. I think the group is coming together nicely.

There is still one staff who sits on the edge. Therest of the group had been talking over some of the behavioral incidents of the week, and after it was almost done, she presented a "what do I do?" scenario of a situation we’d already discussed. It wasn’t with one of her clients, but she’d seen something one of the other DSPs and the Administrator were already handling. This particular DSP was throwing up her arms in despair, because she had thought herself in danger. It’s a tough situation. The girl had hit the wall and she was at least 40-50 feet away. I had thought that the DSP was using the issue to communicate the vulnerability she feels around the clients. She didn’t appear to have any real empathy for what the girl was experiencing, which made me feel put off. I realize as the trainer though that I have some responsibility over this woman’s feelings. Or, at least how her mind gets channeled next.

To make the situation more difficult, this same staff has come under the complaint of a couple of parents and about 2/3rds of her group. This week, Sister had sent me in the room to observe how she and the group were interacting. The staff has become closed door. In front of the people she serves, she became angry with the individuals who had spoken up against her. She was yelling and belittling them and saying that they would have to leave her group and that she wasn’t putting up with them. I told her that was between she and Sr. Tess and that I was just here to observe and I would sit over in —> this corner. Then the staff yelled if I stayed, that she would leave and I could just "keep" the group, because she wasn’t putting up with that either. Nothing to do at that point of course then leave. No time for a power struggle in front of the group. So, I wrote out my observational report from that 6-7 minutes and deposited with the sister. It is up to her to decide how to handle a staff who wouldn’t "allow" her room to be open. Seems to me she has a safety issue at hand if the group is complaining and there is no accountability from the DSP. Likewise, I will of course report her behavior at the staff training meeting. I think I’d be more upset, except I know Sr. had two interviews this week for a new employee. This leaves my position fairly clear. Keep the staff training at a status quo level.

Hmm, is that it?