Hard Day Off

Yesterday was a harder day for us than some have been lately. It included not being able to make ourselves leave the house for an appointment with Dr. M. due maybe to laziness or avoidance. The sessions this last month or so have been difficult for the system and individual parts of the system.

Our Anniemi (15 years old), had time out throughout the meeting. She is heavily influenced by both Dearheart (Annemarie 12-13 years) and Sr. Tess. Anniemi is similar to Dearheart, although Anniemi gets along with the system and Dr. M. much better than Dearheart. She is not so isolated and is able to care about the work world deeply enough to consider Sr. Tess her favorite person. She seems to be one of us that is most close to Dearheart’s pictures and images.

Anniemi seems to have some of the difficulties Dearheart has of being in the present.  We’ve all been struggling with the images Dearheart has presented, each at our own levels and degrees. Anniemi was seeing double images of being in the room both present and past at the same time. Afterward, she felt or was influenced to feel and act out self-destructively. These impulses aren’t good for any of us.

There was a lot of sleeping throughout the day. Toward the end of the day, our friend stopped by. Different parts were out. Most particularly KC (aged 9). We think KC holds a good part of our sense of shame. She often bows her head and has trouble looking up at people. Our friend impressed with physical and verbal cues that she look up at him. It seemed to cause her great pain.  We all feel relief when she is able to again accept the present.

KC was being influenced by Anna (4 years) and Gracie (5 years). Anna is the one to sense danger and Gracie fear. For an instant Mimi (1 year)was out. She was not able to support our body's weight. 

These parts are not abandoned by us.  We watch closely his behavior toward them and gain clues (sketch) as to what they might be thinking in their responce to him. We try to support his words by interpreting our sense of trust. It doesn’t make them "go away." That would seem heartless. Most surely what is communicated is that "its going to be ok."  

Picture - http://www.nursing.uiowa.edu/sites/PedsPain/PainPics/